標籤: Manuptoday

Have you ever got rejected by a girl who tells you that she has a bf?

 

Have you ever tried to push on because you suspect it’s a lie to shittest you?

 

Do you want to know how to make a girl want to hang out with you and become your gf?

=================

Hi Manson, I have talked to this girl for 2 weeks or so and she has already rejected me by telling me she has a boyfriend.

 

However, I didn’t stop talking to her because I know that it was a lie and that she probably said that because she wasn’t comfortable with me enough yet.

 

In fact now she would bring me to parties, but she is really vague about hanging out and stuff.

 

So what can I do to get her and make her more determined to say yes hanging out with me. Thanks my name is Chris btw

=================

 

＃1 Define what’s “hanging out”, do you mean you want to pak tor with her like a bf so early on and make her recognize you as a bf?

 

If yes, you’re doing these “dates” wrong because you’re trying to prove to her as a good bf material.

 

You’re focusing on proving how awesome you are instead of focusing on just having FUN for yourself,

 

then share FUN and good emotions with her and let her feel attraction to you naturally.

 

#2 The reason she is vague is because she feels too much PRESSURE from your behaviors.

 

You are trying so hard to be her BF and even if she is attracted to you,

 

she isn’t comfortable to show you to the world as a BF yet because you haven’t found out her needs yet.

 

Do you know WTF is she looking for?

 

Has she felt a strong sexual desire towards you yet that she wants to fuck you?

 

Even if she wants to fuck you, does she even want a bf?

 

Thus, can you see forcing a BF agenda on her is what repels her?

 

#3 Unclear on how you met her and how you talk to her for 2 weeks.

 

It is crucial on how you meet her because the CONTEXT often influences how she sees you as a person.

 

E.g. A warm approach/ an introduction from others/ meeting you because you are the leader of a group  is often easier than cold approach because girls already see you as “higher status”and thus she will have much less resistance/defence when you talk to them.

 

#4 Get a GF process: Establish a sexual intimate relationship first by being light FUN + CHALLENGING guy,

 

by NOT focusing on just one girl at the beginning and having a lot of options,

 

by having a lot of sex, a

 

nd then let her bring up the bf/gf issue with patience.

 

Thus stop worrying about becoming her bf,

 

focus on being an attractive guy who is enjoying life and has a purpose to dominate,

 

and let her worry about becoming your gf out of the options you have!

Have you ever worried about not being able to attract girls richer, more social value, more successful than you?

What do you do if your current social skill isn’t as good as the girl?

Do you feel shameful about your family background that you don’t want to show your authentic true self?

====================

Hello! Man神，我讀緊書，至今A0。我一直都唔敢溝比自己更有錢、條件更好嘅女仔，試過約女仔去街，但係話題唔多，

 

我見識同社交技巧好弱，亦唔想俾女仔知道自己太多，對自己的家庭背景感到自卑，將自己真實一面顯露出來會更自卑，點先可以克服呢樣野? thanks

====================

 

#1 Your current belief system = A value of a person is determined by your income.

 

You think 『賺得多錢先至代表你有價值』, therefore you are INSECURE that your girl is richer/more successful/social than you.

 

You are trying to COMPETE with her.

 

This is a common problem especially for dudes from the PUA cold approach game world.

 

Because your values system, what you stand for in life, what’s your purpose, your ideals, what meaning in life is NEVER determined.

 

You just try to cover things up with PUA tricks, lines, routines.

 

Right now, you are trying to earn more money/learn game to FEED YOUR EGO. -> i.e. your EGO that needs women/others to like you in order for you to feel worthy and good enough. E.g. show pics to your guy friends how hot your gfs are so that you feel like “I am the man”

 

In short, you feel 自卑 because you are NOT born in a rich, successful, socialable family.  

 

That’s why you don’t feel VALUABLE as a human being in society’s value system.

 

That’s why you feel SHAMEFUL about your background and personal history.

 

Here’s what I invite you to do:

 

Instead of buying into this society’s value that you need to be rich, successful, famous, sociable in order to be WORTHY,

 

OR the PUA’s value that you must fuck hundreds of girls and have thousands of 女兵 in order to prove that you are successful with women… which is only a small % of the world population,

 

think and determine YOUR OWN VALUES SYSTEM!

 

Do you know why you feel TORN right now?

 

It’s because you’re trying to FIT IN into society’s values 高富帥 or PUA’s values 食女無數.

 

You are shirking your worldview into what is desirable in the context of nightclub or the general media propaganda of 有女有樓有車有家庭。

 

You are trying to give up your own values to get pussy, to get success, to get recognized.

 

Thus, if people value money/pussy MORE THAN being a good person, of course you are always losing their game.

 

***So think about YOUR OWN VALUES SYSTEM.***

 

Values are relative, be careful of what values system you’re adopting.

 

E.g. In nightclubs, hot girls always have higher value than rich men! 

 

So think deeply what values you stand for, what’s important to you in life and what’s the MEANING of your life is.

 

=> Having a Passion  

 

Life Purpose will give you MEANING in life, it GROUNDS you so that you don’t  feel lost.

 

Until you have your own values system and life purpose, you will always feel insecure/inferior about yourself and you don’t feel worthy/good enough for certain girls.

 

For ref: Watch “賺得少, 真係因為你對社會毫無貢獻？”

Have you wondered what a real 型男 is?

 

Have you tried to act COOL but only to find that the girl got scared away or lose interest because you care too less?

 

What would you do if you find that the girl you like already has a bf?

====================

Hello man神 ,我最近發現到你既影片,然後我發現失去左好多溝女既機會,因為我分人經常扮COOL講野就呼呼喝喝既人。

 

=》There’s a difference between a COOL guy and a fake cool guy.

 

A real cool guy is a LEADER who is not only ASSERTIVE／堅定自信 about himself with confidence,

 

but also an EASYGOING individual who confidently let go of things out of his control and doesn’t stress out about small stuff.

 

So, a cool guy is sexual and adventurous who is passionate about life,

 

but he is NOT being a DICK to people or being an asshole fake alpha male who tries to put down of other people.

 

我喜歡左一個女仔，佢係我工作上既同事。

 

起初佢係好討厭我，因為我扮COOL講野就呼呼喝喝，所以令佢覺得我好惡，我同佢好少講野，因為每日返工都見到佢既關係,所以開始有同佢講野同埋玩但係好少。

 

我有時會寸佢整野樣衰，佢就會同我講我想打你阿!之類既野,慢慢佢開始沒有討厭我而且開始對我有好感。

 

=> Let me clarify again: Being a cool guy is NOT about being RUDE,

 

being ASSERTIVE／堅定自信 and CERTAIN about yourself doesn’t mean you need to 亂咁屌鳩人跟住令啲年輕巴打覺得你好似好有霸氣。

 

Yes, I did tell you to be more EDGY, 刃, less nice, say whatever the fuck you want,  and be a little bit 寸.

 

But what I mean is to value your own OPINION without FORCING others to buy into your ideas.

 

When you stop trying so hard to PROVE to the world that you’re right, then you will naturally attract people to you in a magnetic manner.

 

我睇過你既影片10樣女仔對你有興趣指標，後來發現佢既表現好似中了幾個，有一次我同班同事傾緊有關手機game抽卡既野，傾完之後，佢就主動同我講返個D野,同埋佢有時會拍吓我膊頭,

 

我一向講野都唔好笑冇人想笑但佢會笑, 有時有互相寸吓大家，佢同我妹妹經常有野講好好傾既，所以我問我妹妹佢有冇問有關我既野,阿妹話有, 佢問我點解講野咁惡平時係屋企係點樣架？佢仲話我好霸氣。

 

=》#1 Do you know why people don’t laugh at what you say?

 

It’s because you aren’t even laughing at what you say and you don’t think it’s funny.

 

The trick to being a funny is you must say things in a SELF-AMMUSING manner.

 

When you say stuff because you genuinely find it funny and you say it just to self-amuse yourself, your good emotions will naturally transfer to others and make them feel good and more likely to laugh.

 

但後來我知道佢有個男朋友仲好似識左好耐，我即時覺得好絕望之後冇再同佢玩同講野慢慢好冷淡，但係佢仍然有寸我掂我，佢有男朋友仲比signal我姐係咩意思呢？當我小朋友玩下我?

 

我當自己應該冇機會，但係我睇完你影片發現可能未必冇機會，我唔想放棄想係佢男朋友手上搶佢返黎。

 

=》#1 Girls giving you signals DO NOT always mean they are single.

 

Every girl wants MORE attention, that’s the feminine nature and it never ends,

 

and that’s why the entertainment attracts so many young girls who CRAVE to be SEEN, it’s hard for them to resist the temptation.

 

#2 Why do you feel frustrated when they have BF?

 

You should celebrate it because that only means their BF is NOT satisfying her feminine needs and that’s why she is seeking elsewhere.

 

Of course you can try to beat that guy by presenting yourself as a better option, and it’s totally possible to sleep with this girl and make her CHEAT…

 

but I won’t recommend you STEALING her for your ego boost and indirectly hurt another human being who is making relationship mistakes.

 

If she still flirts with you and desires you, and you desire her and want to be a man,

 

it’s a masculine way to tell her that it’s YOUR RULE NOT to sleep with women who are in a committed relationship.

 

If she wants to be with you, she needs to break up first.

 

That’s what a real man does, instead of being a sneaky value-sucker who sleeps around in a dishonest way that is doing the world no good.

 

後來佢升級做左經理之後，每日都好似好忙，而且無處不在，好難見到佢出現係我眼前，以前仲可以偷望佢，

 

好難搵佢講野，加上我係內向怕羞既人，但我真係好想得到佢，man神我應該點樣做先可以溝到佢阿！求你幫吓我 – Kit

 

=> I think I have shared with you the path you need to take. In order to attract her,

 

#1 Stop being a creepy guy who feels shameful about your sexual desire.

 

If you want to LOOK at her beauty, look right at her eye as a man and behold her.

 

#2 Be edgy but NOT an offensive person who uses RUDENESS as a disguise of your lack of true confidence.

 

#3 Let her feel your desire but also STRENGTH as a man, that you desire her but you have a rule NOT to sleep with women who are in a committed relationship.

 

The last one is just my recommendation for you to man up, it’s up to you to choose what you want to do

 

– as a man with an abundance mindset who CHOOSES which women to sleep with OR scarcity mindset who NEEDS to sleep with every girl available ASAP.

[性知識] 男士做愛時三大錯誤！第二點最常見…

 

#1 去得太快

– Problem of fast sex is that you MISS the DETAILS.

 

– It’s like you’re using 2X speed to listen to Ed Sheeran’s Perfect

 

– The slower you play, the more you digest it, the more you can FEEL each other

 

– So stop just pounding away and try to get off

 

#2 太過focus去令自己高潮

– Sex is not an itch that you just have to scratch

 

– When you are hungry, you don’t go to a French Restaurant and stuff food in your mouth

 

– When you try to get orgasm too fast, then there’s no time to savor experience

 

– You have wanted sex for so long, why the FUCK are you rushing through the experience? Otherwise, the experience ENDS before you know it.

 

#3 太過想令到女人高潮

– Most men feel the need to get women off e.g. squirt/big explosion

 

– This is because that makes a lot of men feel POWERFUL

 

– However, if you focus on that outcome too much and NOT being present to her sensations…even though you hear her moan, many women will FAKE their orgasms even when they don’t enjoy the sex.

 

– Many women just don’t want to hurt your ego when your sex sucks OR they just don’t want to bother telling you how WRONG you’re doing.

 

So these are the mistakes: going too fast, focusing on yourself too much, and trying too hard to get her to explode.

 

Takeaway #1: Slow down 3-5 times at your current pace,

 

#2 Engage in communication during sex.

 

#3 Stop emphasizing your orgasm and don’t just focus on hers.

#1 Most people enter relationships when they are NOT READY.

 

They aren’t emotionally mature enough to understand themselves and that’s why their relationships SUCH and never last.

 

Healthy relationships have both Passion and Connection.

 

Just passion = almost all dramas

 

Connection without passion = friendship.

 

#2 So if you still haven’t dealt with your own emotional shit yet, you’re going to bring your problems into the relationship, she will trigger your fears/insecurities, and both of you are just gonna make others lives harder.

 

Do NOT project everything to her and blaming her for your relationship problems.

 

Ask yourself, “Are YOU relationship material? Are you mature enough to EARN the knowledge and GROW the passion in relationship?”

 

#3 Women are attracted to men with direction, purpose and drive.

 

So here’s 3 step process for you to go through before you enter a relationship as an attractive man.

 

Q1: WHO the fuck am I?

– Write down 5-10 most important values that you care the most. What values are you willing to DEFEND and stand up for?

 

– What am I passionate about? What are the things I naturally CURIOUS about since young? What makes me feel excited?

 

Although relationships are one of the most honest way to REVEAL yourself through your partner,

 

it’s best to have a good foundation of self-knowledge first before you enter any relationships.

 

Q2: What is my MISSION in life?

– What are you naturally good at doing? What are the things you love doing that is not numbing yourself but you feel a sense of deep internal fulfillment?

 

– If you can spend one hour a day doing what you love every day, what would that be?

 

– Are the people you currently spend most time with supporting & encouraging you to live your path?

 

OR are they negative victims dragging your emotions down, blaming circumstances and complaining why they can’t do certain things?

 

Q3: WHAT kind of women do you want to invite to join your path?

 

If you tell me that there’s no good women in [any city],

 

and you tell me you’ve been searching a long time in “bars/nightclubs”,

 

can you now see why you can’t meet quality women?

 

Can you see why you two aren’t compatible for each other?

 

Takeaway: Direction/Purpose is the central pillar of a man’s life,

 

you can’t find a great career/partner UNTIL you know who you are or where you want to go.

 

This is the so called mid-life crisis,

 

and I am raising awareness for you EARLY so that you don’t fuck up with girls later.

 

Create yourself with intention,

 

create your path with intention,

 

and then you’ll know what kind of women you want to bring into your life.  

Many guys misunderstand the meaning of “being a cool guy”, sometimes being “too cool” actually limits your love life.

 

However, there’s a difference between showing interest in an attractive way and being NEEDY.

 

Here’s few things you can show interest in an attractive way.

 

#1 Praise Her values/interests/passions at suitable times

 

After you have light FUN with her and you found that you two can vibe pretty well, you are moving to the Screen & Qualifying Stage.

 

Meaning, you are screening to see if there’s any REAL EMOTIONAL CONNECTION between you two.

 

The way to do so is to to SCREEN in your mind to evaluate if she worth your time.

 

“Are we a good fit? Are we a good match?” ,

 

NOT “how to I impress this girl/ how do I get her to like me?”

 

Technique: Find out if she has NON-PHYSICAL Traits/qualities  you’re looking for by asking strategic questions.

 

E.g. If you enjoy travelling and you do cherish people who has a spirit of adventure, you can ask her “So where do you like to travel most?”, instead of “do you like to travel”,

 

this is a POSITIVE ASSUMPTION that she also travels and see if she meets your standards.

 

After this screening frame,

 

if she qualifies herself and explains why she also loves that, you can just say “Wow, that’s really adventurous, I like that about you!”

 

You are relating with her, you APPRECIATE that non physical traits of her.

 

So you set up the compliment by making her EARN IT, then your compliment  will gives her a nice feeling (if you add a little touch)

 

#2 Be Real, Raw and Open about yourself

 

Remember: Disclosure is disarming.

 

When you reveal slowly little unknown things about yourself, you are being COURAGEOUS and BOLD about showing your REAL self to others.

 

That’s attractive, as long as you don’t overdo it.

 

When you show your rough edges, your authentic imperfect self, you can easily attract people who are right for you and screen out those judgemental ones who won’t fit for you no matter what you do.

 

Plus, when you do this, you save so much time and energy going on dates with women who just aren’t compatible with you.

 

#3 If her first impression wasn’t amazing, but you feel that she has inner qualities that you cherish, consider giving her a second chance.  

 

Sometimes girls may not 100% match your “ideal women” list,

 

sometimes she had a shitty day when you met her,

 

sometimes you’re too attractive in her eyes that she feel so nervous on her performance…

 

But if you are TOO QUICK to decide to NEXT her, you are missing the point of building a new relationship.

 

Very often, the best long term relationships don’t start with a dizzying high of emotions and happy brain chemicals. It often starts with a slow process.

 

Sometimes when you first meet her, you might not feel a huge urge to be with her. You might not have a crazy heart beat.

 

But the more time you spend around each other, things may MAKE SENSE that you two are making progress together and you find out that she’s making you a better person…

 

…so pay attention to what you feel as time goes by,

 

and you might be surprised when you have a relationship when you least expect it.

Sometimes when you meet a girl, things may seem going well.

 

You guys are having fun, you guys may like each other, and it seems it’s natural to move forward.

 

However, if you are NOT aware of her past relationships, that could hurt your possibility of getting her commit to a new relationship.

 

So here’s a few important things you need to discover when dating.

 

#1 如果佢曾經拍過拖嘅話，你要慢慢發掘佢上一段感情係點解會散咗。

 

當然唔係叫你first date就即刻問佢關於ex嘅嘢啦，因為頭幾次見面都係集中以have fun為主；

 

但係如果你發現大家都幾啱玩，係你建立connection／做qualification嘅時候，你就要暗中尋求答案。

 

當然佢口中嘅原因好多時都只係真相嘅一部分，但係你都至少可以知道佢用乜嘢態度去看待自己嘅Ex，從而觀察佢另一面。

 

＃2 你要觀察一下，佢仲會唔會將自己Ex嘅嘢保留喺身邊呢？

無論係佢嘅首飾頸鏈，定係戒指耳環，又或者係佢屋企嘅佈置，

 

如果仍然係充斥住佢嘅Ex送畀佢嘅嘢，咁樣好可能係一種佢仲未能夠完全let go自己嘅Ex嘅徵兆。

 

當然你並唔需要逼佢即刻抌曬所有對佢嚟講有紀念價值嘅嘢啦；

 

但係你都可以暗示如果佢想發展新一段感情，佢都係需要放下自己嘅舊回憶，佢先至能夠健康地得到新嘅戀情，跟住你再觀察佢畀咩反應你。

 

＃3 另外一樣你需要發掘嘅，係睇下邊個同邊個分手。

 

如果係條女主動話分手嘅話，咁樣好大機會佢係已經對佢嘅Ex無感情／期望；

 

因為女仔肯主動講分手，好多時都係因為佢已經決定呢段感情唔work，對個男仔已經失去吸引力。

 

相反，如果係佢嘅Ex主動分手嘅話，咁樣你就要觀察呢條女對佢嘅ex仲有冇一啲好強烈嘅情感出現。

 

因為如果你講佢嘅ex嘅時候佢變得好emotional嘅話，

 

你都可以幾清楚佢仲未get over對方，佢都未ready好接受你對佢嘅注意力。

 

＃4 最後一樣嘢你要知道嘅，就係究竟佢哋散咗幾耐。

 

因為除非你係一個冷血嘅psychopath，

 

唔係嘅話對正常人嚟講，『分手』都係會影響到你嘅情緒，而且你係需要一段時間先至能夠治療好自己嘅心靈。

 

視乎嗰段感情嘅激烈程度同埋雙方嘅成熟度，通常recovery time都係一段感情嘅總時間嘅一半。

 

即係話如果拍咗拖兩年嘅話，對大部分人嚟講都需要一整年嘅時間先至可以恢復自己嘅心理質素。

 

咁所以如果對方啱啱分手你就諗住乘虛而入嘅話，雖然你都係有機會利用對方嘅hurt而同你上床；

 

但係就算對方即刻同你一齊拍拖，佢都只係利用你呢個人去填補佢心靈嘅空虛，而咁樣嘅做法絕對唔係建立健康感情嘅基礎。

 

Hope the above 4 signs will help you determine if SHE or even YOU are suitable for a relationship.

 

If you discover that either of you are NOT emotionally ready, then it’s best NOT to start anything new until you two are ready.

有冇曾經諗起以前喺你生命上出現嘅女人呢？

 

你會唔會想溝返你以前嘅小學中學大學嘅女同學呢？

 

又或者你會唔會好奇呢條女近排搞緊咩呢？

 

如果你有類似嘅問題，

 

好可能你都好想學識點樣同你以往遇上過嘅女士reconnect，甚至諗下點樣可以再次吸引佢。

 

但係唔知你有冇發現：

 

當你透過社交媒體再次message佢哋嘅時候，佢哋好似唔係點樣show你呢？

 

有冇發現就算佢哋有follow你，感覺上都好似好難再reconnect呢？

 

＃1 各位男士你必須首先明白嘅就係：雖然我唔知道你依家20歲／30歲定係40歲，

 

但係如果你仍然纏繞緊係當年嘅感情裏面，我都幾肯定呢一刻嘅你仍然係處於一個無女／scarcity，缺乏吸引力嘅狀態。

 

如果過咗幾年甚至十幾廿年你都仲係依戀緊喺嗰條女身上，

 

就代表其實你依家仍然唔係以一個富裕／abundance嘅mindset去看代溝女呢件事。

 

＃2 好簡單嘅原因就係：

 

如果你依家身邊係有其他十幾廿條女你隨時可以hang out或者約會嘅話，你仲會唔會咁依戀當年嗰位Jessica女士呢？

 

你喺集中build緊自己嘅life嘅話，你仲會唔會有時間去care N年前嗰啲女呢？

 

＃3 咁所以如果你仲係好想學識點樣『溝返以前中學』啲女嘅話，我就強烈建議你唔好再咁creepy冇嘢做；

 

你係要溝嘅話，都唔該你去溝番一啲全新你未認識過嘅女士。

 

只有當你停止對n年前嘅女咁obsessive，

 

你先至能夠move on去變成一個更加有吸引力嘅男人，

 

你先至會有機會透過social media畀佢地見到你全新嘅一面，佢哋先至會有機會想再次同你連繫。

＃1 我哋都活係一個『即食』嘅年代。

 

大部分嘅年青人都係想搵捷徑去成功，或者想搵最短時間最簡單嘅方法得到佢哋想要嘅嘢，無論係賺錢溝女定係做任何嘢。

 

咁所以喺呢一個主張你『付出最少得到最大回報』嘅意識形態裏面，男人嘅雄性力量／masculinity其實就係啱啱哋被蠶食緊。

 

＃2 點解？

 

原因就係因為我哋masculine energy嘅頂峰，就係處於係一個被挑戰／被challenge嘅狀態裏面。

 

如果你一味容許自己hea，一味畀更多藉口自己點解做唔到某樣嘢，你唔單止係變成緊一個懶到爆嘅value sucker，

 

你身為男人嘅masculine edge更加將會被慢慢殲滅，最後變成一個一無所有嘅loser。

 

但係你要記住：我哋之所以不斷俾challenge自己，並唔係純粹去追求下一個目標；

 

你真正要push自己嘅原因，係因為喺呢個過程之中你將會塑造自己成為一個乜嘢嘅人。

 

＃3 意思即係話：你每個禮拜花三四日去做gym，並唔係純粹想keep fit練大隻啲；

 

而係因為你係斷練緊自己嘅commitment，自己嘅堅持去做好某件事。

 

又例如你學習男女吸引力／兩性關係等等嘅學問，

 

並唔係純粹想抄牌屌西，跟住將所有被你『狠狠調教過』嘅女伴當作戰利品畀其他唔成熟嘅靚仔歡呼喝采；

 

而係因為你想成為一個更加明白男女intimacy同感情嘅人，

 

令到你能夠同你嘅partner製造既有激情又有深切連繫嘅quality relationship。

 

＃4 咁所以正當咁多男士墮落緊嘅時候，我邀請巴打你記住：

 

雖然你做以下我分享嘅嘢你係會馬上突圍而出，但係記住我哋人生唯一嘅對手就係我哋自己。

 

咁所以以下有兩樣嘢我想巴打你帶走：

 

＃5 第一，請你自己選擇點樣去challenge自己，

 

無論係健康上，財富上，親密關係上，性愛上，社交上等等嘅areas。

 

你依家會唔會覺得自己嘅人生某一方面係好停滯不前呢？

 

如果你嚟緊一年你只能夠達成一個目標，你喺邊一個area進步係會令到你各方面嘅生活質素都有最大提升呢？

 

要記住：好多時舒適範圍唔單止係講緊你做嘅嘢，comfort zone更加係講緊你生存嘅環境，

 

咁所以有時自己一個去旅行係一啲非常好嘅個人成長嘅方法。

 

＃6 第二，喺呢一刻嘅你，你覺得有乜嘢係綁住緊你隻腳，令到你唔能夠遠走高飛呢？

 

呢啲綁住你嘅anchors，好多時都係一啲你身邊嘗試破壞你夢想嘅人；

 

除咗係一啲故意攻擊你追隨自己道路嘅人，有時候好可惜嘅係一啲愛錫你但係過份干預你嘅人。

 

咁所以如果你唔能夠完全斬斷關係，你就要學識點樣有選擇性地 limit／限制自己同佢接觸嘅時間。

 

＃7 Anyway，最後想講嘅就係：

 

女人喺被一啲有目標，有purpose，有passion，有衝勁，識得自學反思去改善自己嘅男人。

 

咁所以當你唔再浪費自己時間，當你不斷挑戰自己能力邊緣嘅時候，

 

你就能夠好快喺事業上感情上突圍而出，並且同時得到你想要嘅理想人生。

If you remember, we talked about why dependence will KILL every relationship, because your NEED for someone else to COMPLETE you will create unhealthy relationships.

 

That’s why we must first grow from dependence to independence stage.

 

But that’s stage 2, because if you stay too long/stuck in independence and autonomy stage, you won’t be able to experience something deeper: connection & intimacy.

 

That’s why you must then grow to stage 3 interdependence, where we learn to work with our partners to magnify our human experience.

 

If you are now too independent and FEEL quite lonely in your life, maybe it’s a sign that your life lacks connection and fulfillment.

 

Here’s 3 questions to guide you on how to lean on others in a healthy non-toxic way.

 

Tip #1 Think about where you are trying to “go alone” too much in your life. Where in your life are you afraid to ask for help? Love life? Job? Friends?

 

Are you doing to PROVE that you are capable of being independent, OR you are afraid that people will think you are WEAK when you ask for help?

 

Humans are social species. Apes alone weak, apes together strong.

At certain point of your life, you NEED to learn to let others in so that we help each other thrive.

 

Tip #2 How many “friends” in your life REALLY REALLY know you?

your fears, insecurities, dreams, aspirations etc.

 

If you have 1-5 great friends, that’s awesome because MOST people have ZERO 知己.

 

So be honest, if you don’t have any, it’s time to reach out to your old friends and maybe meet some new friends.

 

Tip #3 What are you scared to do most? Something that might make you look powerless, weak, vulnerable?

 

The truth is it’s VERY HARD to do it all alone as a lone wolf.

 

Our fears and insecurities are pointers on the areas where we may NEED other people to help us, teach us, nurture us, love us, help us grow.

 

Yes, being happy, independent, self-sufficient is a GROWTH from stage 1 dependence to stage 2 independence.

 

But if you truly want to dominate life faster, you will need INTIMACY or a COMMUNITY.

 

If being alone isn’t getting results you want, It’s time to listen to your HEART and take new action!