標籤: EDM

One of the most common fears guys tell me is that they think “你的樣子如何你的日子也必如何”, so they think they can never get girls because they have average looks.

I am not gonna lie, your fashion/style/sexiness DOES matter because first impression lasts. Look at how thirsty women are when they got a chance to touch A&F models.

But does that really mean average looks = lonely forever? And do you know why you are force fed this idea of “Your face your fate”?

Can you see how believing into such bullshit is going to affect your mindset, action and results in life? CM below and let know your thoughts.

So if you ask me, I’d say fvck YFYF because there are certain things you can do to drastically increase your chance.

#1 If you are really worried, then get your ass out and change what you can.

Let’s face this, if you dress like like a dirty beggar OR like a safe boring vanilla good boy, that is NOT going to arouse women.

Arousal of women is based on TENSION, so your style needs to conveys edginess +I am not fvcking average. If your presentation conveys “I am safe and risk-averse”, that will NOT spark attraction.

So always upgrade your haircut, your style that is not based on fashion but timeless good-looks, your body type, your smell, your skin, your body type.

Those are the easy things that you can DO to change ppl’s perception.

#2 Whatever beliefs you keep telling yourself or excuses you keep using , you are going to live in such reality.

Once you have taken ACTION to change the external and stop behaving like a keyboard poison kid, then you gotta take charge of your self-talk.

Because when you repeat a story in your brain, your mind are going to focus on finding evidence that only support that belief and reject evidence that doesn’t support that.

This is called Confirmation bias 確認偏誤。

#3 So knowing that our brain has a tendency to 選擇性地回憶, why don’t you use that bias to HELP YOURSELF?

Assuming you HAVE taken action to change your style/body/external factors, you SHOULD create a new story like “I love how girls love how sexy I am.””Women just love how hot I am and they want me to talk to them. ”

Instead of being biased against the -ve factors about yourself, you can use the same tool to be biased FOR the +ve factor about yourself.

I agree that good-looks, especially for women, have tremendous effects on how people judge you. And I also agree that sometimes you may overestimate your hotness.

But if nothing change, you now at least have the BALLS to pull the fucking trigger and say hi to the girls you have always scared to meet.

Doesn’t this just simple act increase your success with women?  

Bro, not sure if you have notice… we humans actually always create mental images/movies in our head.

We love to daydream, we love to think this and that irregularly, and our thoughts are NOT that linear/logical most of the time.

And that is why I always say the reason people say “i dun know what to say” is because they create filters in their head to STOP saying what they are thinking/feeling.

Now, do you know that you can use the same principle to create outrageous fun adventurous pictures in girls’ mind and get her excited and aroused?

Here what you need to do: Next time you talk to her, try to look for things that she say that you can turn into some crazy ridiculous fun adventures.

E.g. She says she wants to travel to Iceland this summer…

You say “Wow really? I have wanted to visit Iceland for so long…

Damn, you know what? Let’s go home tonight and get every savings we have, and fly to Iceland next week.

We’ll ride horses around golden circle, we’ll dip ourselves in hot springs in Blue Lagoon, we’ll hike along the waterfalls and maybe camp for a night…

…and then sadly I would stop treat you as my friend… because every night you are giving me BAD massage and cooking me BAD food to eat…

we would then argue and I would finally fire you as my personal assistant. Damn, why are you making me hate you again!?”

When you paint vivid mental pictures in her mind, she will either laugh and call you crazy, or she’ll play along with you and continue the ridiculous story.

This is a very powerful way to have playful conversations which paints picture in her head that you two will be together doing stuff in the future.

When you future project and add a teasing takeaway at the end, you will have a lethal attraction weapon to make her want to see you again.  

And when you later invite her out for real activities, don’t you think it’s much easier now after such fantasy? 😉

2 NEW announcements of MTFU’s directions! 😀

Knowing that you are about to break up with someone you’ve been together for a while can be SCARY, because most of us don’t want to make others feel sad or even cry.  

But if you know that your relationship isn’t going anywhere in the future, there are few guidelines you can use to make breakups as peaceful as possible.

#1 Do it in person

Sudden silence/disappearance & stop calling/texting is VERY immature way of breakup kids do, that’s disrespectful to the other person .

So do it in person, have a sincere chat and that will help BOTH of you grow and move on ASAP.

#2 Tell her what you are grateful for in the relationship

If you are conscious about your relationship and have developed it from a healthy foundation, both of you are going to learn A LOT from each other.

So it’s good to APPRECIATE how she has helped you grow as a person, and she has been played an important role in a chapter of your life.

#3 Let her know the logical reason for the breakup

A good breakup should include some thoughtful contemplations on whether the relationship is going anywhere.

So if you think your values/goals/personalities/directions/timing are not COMPATIBLE with each other,

if you two are going different paths, it is a better decision to separate your ways and let each other FLY with freedom.

#4 It is crucial that both of you STOP communicating for a long time.

This is because we must create mental space for each other to eliminate old anchors by each other in order to move on.

A good time frame is if r/p is 2 years, it takes around a year to recover.

You two can still be friends in the future, but that only happen organically if you DELETE/CUT her phone, FB, stuff to provide a clear mental space NOW.

=> Be thankful, be real, own the responsibility, end it if you know it’s not right

We have talked a lot about different ways of building ST in the past,

but today I want to share a little secret that 90% of men don’t know about ST.

And here it is: ST exists naturally between a man and a woman, especially when you are attracted to her.

If you and a hot-enough girl are alone in a room and NO ONE ever knows this, you two are naturally going to fvck.

#1 You probably have been in front of a woman,

and you can feel this electricity that “wow, i like her, i want to sleep with her” feeling, and she makes you aroused.

However, the common mistake is that MOST men will try to make her feel comfortable first, try to shut down that feeling of nervousness, pretend nothing is happening, and then escalate some days later.

#2 Understand this: If you diffuse ST because you feel uncomfortable,

if you try to hide your sexual desire because you feel shameful/wrong to feel that…

…you are only going to make a girl feel uncomfortable to be sexual with you and she will think that you are either gay or a beta pussy.  

If you really want to attract & arouse her, you need to STOP diffusing these ST.

#3 E.g. During conversations, when there is a pause or silence appearing for a few seconds, STOP trying to fill in the blank and say shit.

You should bask in that moment and enjoy those little you-me looking/ feeling each other moment. Those split-second is what connects you two.

#4 So bro, you want more girls?

Understand that ST already exists between the girl you want and you, and ALLOW yourself to bask in those extra second of silence, eye-contact, the look.

If you stop killing those beautiful moments, if you can be comfortable having high energy when social BUT also having slow/seductive/sexual/lower energy when seducing a girl,

then women will flow abundantly to your life!

One of the biggest strengths AND weakness of men is that they think LINEARLY. They always think stuff as ABC or step 1,2,3 and then FINISH.

That is understandable, because most men use LOGIC to operate in the world and naturally think things happen in a step-by-step manner.

But when it comes to attraction/sex/women, logic is the ultimate enemy because love & relationships are all about EMOTIONS.

So sex is not about hugging -> kiss -> tongue -> oral -> penetrate -> finish with man’s orgasm!

But real sex is cyclical／週期性, it is filled with CHAOS and UNCERTAINTIES.

Sometimes you start with oral, sometimes she cums a few times before you, sometimes there are multiple bangs,

but there is NO GUARANTEE that the same thing happens in the next time.

If you want to have great sex, stop aiming for certain goals like orgasms, enjoy being in the moment and FVCK however it feels right.

When you discard the formality, you two will have less stress, and sex will be a lot more pleasurable!

Rmb when I say 拍拖真正的目的 = R/p exist to MAGNIFY human experiences,

and intimate r/p exist to TRIGGER you so that you can GROW into a better human being.

Today I want to add another DEEPER layer: R/p helps us HEAL from our emotional wounds

Sometimes we heal our low self-esteem issues / sexual confidence/ feeling of not good enough,

OR deeper stuff like the toxic shame/guilt we have passed on by our generational family system/ toxic beliefs from societies etc.

R/P heals us most because R/P triggers us MOST emotionally because our partner’s certain emotions “anger/disappointment/breakups”,

which immediately trigger our past abandonment issues and our fear of “not being loved/death”pop up instantly!  

So apart from accepting & loving ourselves,

we also need to invite an intimate partner to give us an accurate mirror of WHO WE ARE and heal more from the hidden wounds.

Q is: Do you have the courage to let a woman enters your heart and closely reflects the truth about you?

We know that being vulnerable requires emotional courage, because letting ppl come close and see your flawed imperfect self is scary and can hurt you if you choose a wrong person to do so.

How do we protect ourselves while doing that?

#1 First thing to remember: We don’t NEED everyone to see the deepest, realest part of you.

Not everyone DESERVES to see that deep truth, and not everyone is INTERESTED to explore you.

So while we are being real, we give people freedom to go as deep as they want and freedom to stop at certain level.  

When you come from a place of total self-acceptance and self-love, we WON”T need others to validate us that“Oh, you really are flawed but I accept you”.

#2 You have to be choosy as who you slowly allow to enter your heart.

From your interactions with them, you need to see if they are a trustworthy, non-judgemental, patient, compassionate, kind-hearted person who has your best interest at their heart.

If they are supportive to your growth with open heart, then these people has earned their right to receive your invitation to go deep.

If they shame you for being/doing certain things, they are NOT safe people to open up.

#3 This applies to every kind of relationship – bf/gf, friendships, or you seek help from therapist or personal coaching.

The purpose of these “vulnerability sessions” is to help you heal from your emotional wounds in the past,

to let go of the toxic shame that controls you, and to reintegrate your disowned selves back to your personality.

So if you need help to open up, if you are scared about certain fears but you don’t know why,

if you have difficulties connecting with women, you are welcome to send an email to support@manthefvck.com to book a coaching session with me,

OR join our community MTFU Insider to learn and grow together as an integrated healthy male so that you become more attractive, powerful and confident human being.

It is safe, loving, compassionate evn where you will receive support in your journey.

I was recently having lunch with an old friend who is very successful in society’s standard – very wealthy, make multiple millions, have a great pretty gf, can travel anywhere anytime he wants –

and we stumbled upon the discussion on how to know whether our goals are SOMETHING WE REALLY WANT instead of what people want for us?

Take a second to think about this:  Is your goal right now something YOU want, OR society/marketing forces tells you to want it?

Your next car? Your next house? Your job? Your girlfriend? Your possessions? Your places to go because you heard it can take nice pics for your IG?

Then, we discussed the 1 Q we can ask ourselves to distinguish the REAL thing and the FAKE thing, and that is…

“If no one in the world knows what you do/ what you have, OR if you cannot show off what you do/what you have to the world, would you still continue doing it?”

Boom, can you see how liberating this Q is?

E.g. If you can’t show off that Red Ferrari or green Lamborghini to the world, would you still try to own it?

If you can’t show off this HOT SEXY MODEL to the world, would you still choose to attract her, keep her as a girlfriend OR like hanging around with her?

If you can’t tell your parents/relatives that you are a doctor, lawyer, judge, government top official, investment banker, would you still LOVE DOING THIS JOB?

If no one in the world sees that you can sing/dance/act, would you still join the entertainment industry and try to be famous?

I want you to ponder on this Q today and reflect on what you have been trying to do/ get/ be…

…it will LIBERATES you from all the social bullshit and toxic ideas as to what you really want to DO/HAVE/EXPERIENCE in your life 🙂