標籤: 性愛

Hey bro, I have received some Qs in the past regarding how to help your fellow bros you care about with dating.

This is very interesting because as you learn more from MTFU about not chasing girls, most of your old friends are still staying in the old traditional way of chasing women.

Maybe they do have some success once for a while, or maybe they even have a GF/SP longer faster than you in the past, but you just know that they are doing things wrong even on the surface they are more “successful” than you.

So, how can we help our friends when you know they are entering a trap?

#1 NEVER try to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.

When ppl don’t feel enough pain, or are just happy repeating their old habits, their minds are NOT open enough to receive new knowledge.

Anything that contradicts their current beliefs are going to be deleted, that’s called the confirmation bias/確認偏誤。

No matter how hard you try, they are just not going to listen and forcing help can hurt your friend.

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”. Don’t help them until they are ready to receive it.

#2 Let your own actions/results speak louder than words.

NEVER point fingers to your friends that what they are doing are WRONG.

Because whenever we directly reject others, they are going to act defensive and they will FIGHT your ideas.

Understand: In their current model of the world, they think what they are doing is right. They are doing “what they think is best” based on what they know from society.

So when you say they are wrong, it feels like telling some religious ppl that God doesn’t exist. They either think you are crazy or speaking alien language.

So just do your own thing and let your results speak for themselves. Whether they decide to join you is up to them, don’t force it.

#3 In conclusion, everyone has their own path/lessons they need to go through.

Give them the freedom to fvck up a relationship,

give them the freedom to experience the pain of breakup or being cheated,

give them the freedom to waste money on girls and get divorced at 50…

When they hit rock bottom and they put up their hand for help, only then should you give them a hand to uplift them.

If you want to save the world, save yourself first and make yourself NOT a liability – health, relationships, wealth !

Hey brother are you insecure that you don’t have a car or a house right now?

OR are you scared about the fact that girls may know that you might not have a JOB now and still looking for employment?

If you have such fear of being exposed or fear of being unsuccessful, and you think you can’t get girls at such state, then you are operating at a BETA mindset.

#1 Listen, I know what you are thinking:

You think you can’t PROVIDE FOR the girls you like, you think girls will see you are an unstable loser, you think you have nothing to show off to girls in order to make her like you.

If you believe those are the keys to open women, then you are only half correct BECAUSE those “good citizen”qualities are useful in long term mating strategy.

#2 In long term mating, of course women want a guy who is rich enough to provide her with stuff and make her feel safe.

Of course women want an emotionally stable guy who is predictable and don’t want too much drama in her family that hurt her offsprings.

Of course women want you to be a “good guy” to support her own goals.

But the very politically incorrect truth is that women don’t give a fvck about these beta qualities when she was young, sexy partying and wanted to explore her best sexual options!  

#3 So what does all these mean to you?

One, when you display enough Alpha qualities and increase your sexual value, you can be a broke jobless carless surfer who is just chilling and still get a ton of women sucking you.

Two, the meaning of cars/houses/jobs only mean what you think they mean.

It could mean you are a fvcking loser and don’t deserve women.

It could mean you are a fvcking loser but know how to game women.

But it could also mean you don’t buy into the traditional bullshit script that 90% ppl follow and you are building an alternative exciting entrepreneurial life that most people don’t dare to do, AND you know you deserve women.

#4 But the Q is brother, how would you FRAME your current situation?

CM below and let me know your thoughts. 🙂

One of the most common fears guys tell me is that they think “你的樣子如何你的日子也必如何”, so they think they can never get girls because they have average looks.

I am not gonna lie, your fashion/style/sexiness DOES matter because first impression lasts. Look at how thirsty women are when they got a chance to touch A&F models.

But does that really mean average looks = lonely forever? And do you know why you are force fed this idea of “Your face your fate”?

Can you see how believing into such bullshit is going to affect your mindset, action and results in life? CM below and let know your thoughts.

So if you ask me, I’d say fvck YFYF because there are certain things you can do to drastically increase your chance.

#1 If you are really worried, then get your ass out and change what you can.

Let’s face this, if you dress like like a dirty beggar OR like a safe boring vanilla good boy, that is NOT going to arouse women.

Arousal of women is based on TENSION, so your style needs to conveys edginess +I am not fvcking average. If your presentation conveys “I am safe and risk-averse”, that will NOT spark attraction.

So always upgrade your haircut, your style that is not based on fashion but timeless good-looks, your body type, your smell, your skin, your body type.

Those are the easy things that you can DO to change ppl’s perception.

#2 Whatever beliefs you keep telling yourself or excuses you keep using , you are going to live in such reality.

Once you have taken ACTION to change the external and stop behaving like a keyboard poison kid, then you gotta take charge of your self-talk.

Because when you repeat a story in your brain, your mind are going to focus on finding evidence that only support that belief and reject evidence that doesn’t support that.

This is called Confirmation bias 確認偏誤。

#3 So knowing that our brain has a tendency to 選擇性地回憶, why don’t you use that bias to HELP YOURSELF?

Assuming you HAVE taken action to change your style/body/external factors, you SHOULD create a new story like “I love how girls love how sexy I am.””Women just love how hot I am and they want me to talk to them. ”

Instead of being biased against the -ve factors about yourself, you can use the same tool to be biased FOR the +ve factor about yourself.

I agree that good-looks, especially for women, have tremendous effects on how people judge you. And I also agree that sometimes you may overestimate your hotness.

But if nothing change, you now at least have the BALLS to pull the fucking trigger and say hi to the girls you have always scared to meet.

Doesn’t this just simple act increase your success with women?  

Bro, not sure if you have notice… we humans actually always create mental images/movies in our head.

We love to daydream, we love to think this and that irregularly, and our thoughts are NOT that linear/logical most of the time.

And that is why I always say the reason people say “i dun know what to say” is because they create filters in their head to STOP saying what they are thinking/feeling.

Now, do you know that you can use the same principle to create outrageous fun adventurous pictures in girls’ mind and get her excited and aroused?

Here what you need to do: Next time you talk to her, try to look for things that she say that you can turn into some crazy ridiculous fun adventures.

E.g. She says she wants to travel to Iceland this summer…

You say “Wow really? I have wanted to visit Iceland for so long…

Damn, you know what? Let’s go home tonight and get every savings we have, and fly to Iceland next week.

We’ll ride horses around golden circle, we’ll dip ourselves in hot springs in Blue Lagoon, we’ll hike along the waterfalls and maybe camp for a night…

…and then sadly I would stop treat you as my friend… because every night you are giving me BAD massage and cooking me BAD food to eat…

we would then argue and I would finally fire you as my personal assistant. Damn, why are you making me hate you again!?”

When you paint vivid mental pictures in her mind, she will either laugh and call you crazy, or she’ll play along with you and continue the ridiculous story.

This is a very powerful way to have playful conversations which paints picture in her head that you two will be together doing stuff in the future.

When you future project and add a teasing takeaway at the end, you will have a lethal attraction weapon to make her want to see you again.  

And when you later invite her out for real activities, don’t you think it’s much easier now after such fantasy? 😉

2 NEW announcements of MTFU’s directions! 😀

Knowing that you are about to break up with someone you’ve been together for a while can be SCARY, because most of us don’t want to make others feel sad or even cry.  

But if you know that your relationship isn’t going anywhere in the future, there are few guidelines you can use to make breakups as peaceful as possible.

#1 Do it in person

Sudden silence/disappearance & stop calling/texting is VERY immature way of breakup kids do, that’s disrespectful to the other person .

So do it in person, have a sincere chat and that will help BOTH of you grow and move on ASAP.

#2 Tell her what you are grateful for in the relationship

If you are conscious about your relationship and have developed it from a healthy foundation, both of you are going to learn A LOT from each other.

So it’s good to APPRECIATE how she has helped you grow as a person, and she has been played an important role in a chapter of your life.

#3 Let her know the logical reason for the breakup

A good breakup should include some thoughtful contemplations on whether the relationship is going anywhere.

So if you think your values/goals/personalities/directions/timing are not COMPATIBLE with each other,

if you two are going different paths, it is a better decision to separate your ways and let each other FLY with freedom.

#4 It is crucial that both of you STOP communicating for a long time.

This is because we must create mental space for each other to eliminate old anchors by each other in order to move on.

A good time frame is if r/p is 2 years, it takes around a year to recover.

You two can still be friends in the future, but that only happen organically if you DELETE/CUT her phone, FB, stuff to provide a clear mental space NOW.

=> Be thankful, be real, own the responsibility, end it if you know it’s not right

We have talked a lot about different ways of building ST in the past,

but today I want to share a little secret that 90% of men don’t know about ST.

And here it is: ST exists naturally between a man and a woman, especially when you are attracted to her.

If you and a hot-enough girl are alone in a room and NO ONE ever knows this, you two are naturally going to fvck.

#1 You probably have been in front of a woman,

and you can feel this electricity that “wow, i like her, i want to sleep with her” feeling, and she makes you aroused.

However, the common mistake is that MOST men will try to make her feel comfortable first, try to shut down that feeling of nervousness, pretend nothing is happening, and then escalate some days later.

#2 Understand this: If you diffuse ST because you feel uncomfortable,

if you try to hide your sexual desire because you feel shameful/wrong to feel that…

…you are only going to make a girl feel uncomfortable to be sexual with you and she will think that you are either gay or a beta pussy.  

If you really want to attract & arouse her, you need to STOP diffusing these ST.

#3 E.g. During conversations, when there is a pause or silence appearing for a few seconds, STOP trying to fill in the blank and say shit.

You should bask in that moment and enjoy those little you-me looking/ feeling each other moment. Those split-second is what connects you two.

#4 So bro, you want more girls?

Understand that ST already exists between the girl you want and you, and ALLOW yourself to bask in those extra second of silence, eye-contact, the look.

If you stop killing those beautiful moments, if you can be comfortable having high energy when social BUT also having slow/seductive/sexual/lower energy when seducing a girl,

then women will flow abundantly to your life!

One of the biggest strengths AND weakness of men is that they think LINEARLY. They always think stuff as ABC or step 1,2,3 and then FINISH.

That is understandable, because most men use LOGIC to operate in the world and naturally think things happen in a step-by-step manner.

But when it comes to attraction/sex/women, logic is the ultimate enemy because love & relationships are all about EMOTIONS.

So sex is not about hugging -> kiss -> tongue -> oral -> penetrate -> finish with man’s orgasm!

But real sex is cyclical／週期性, it is filled with CHAOS and UNCERTAINTIES.

Sometimes you start with oral, sometimes she cums a few times before you, sometimes there are multiple bangs,

but there is NO GUARANTEE that the same thing happens in the next time.

If you want to have great sex, stop aiming for certain goals like orgasms, enjoy being in the moment and FVCK however it feels right.

When you discard the formality, you two will have less stress, and sex will be a lot more pleasurable!

Rmb when I say 拍拖真正的目的 = R/p exist to MAGNIFY human experiences,

and intimate r/p exist to TRIGGER you so that you can GROW into a better human being.

Today I want to add another DEEPER layer: R/p helps us HEAL from our emotional wounds

Sometimes we heal our low self-esteem issues / sexual confidence/ feeling of not good enough,

OR deeper stuff like the toxic shame/guilt we have passed on by our generational family system/ toxic beliefs from societies etc.

R/P heals us most because R/P triggers us MOST emotionally because our partner’s certain emotions “anger/disappointment/breakups”,

which immediately trigger our past abandonment issues and our fear of “not being loved/death”pop up instantly!  

So apart from accepting & loving ourselves,

we also need to invite an intimate partner to give us an accurate mirror of WHO WE ARE and heal more from the hidden wounds.

Q is: Do you have the courage to let a woman enters your heart and closely reflects the truth about you?