標籤: 性愛知識

有冇試過覺得自己『唔夠好』去令對方鍾意自己，或者『自己唔值得被對方愛』呢？

 

我哋每個人都會有質疑自己價值嘅時候，無論係因為你父母對你過度嚴苛，又或者你女朋友太正令到你自卑嘅感覺，我哋都有一啲情感嘅包袱令我哋忘記點樣愛錫自己。

 

但係如果你想係一定感情之中感受到自己已經足夠，如果你想提升自己嘅自尊心嘅話，

 

你就必須學識點樣增加你對自己嘅愛，你對自己嘅self love，which is one of the MTFU’s core value.

 

#1 Use Compassion For Our Emotions

 

When we feel low/negative/low self-esteem, we especially with ambitious achievers can be TOO HARD on ourselves.

 

-> Treat your less desirable thoughts about yourself like a 3-year old child who has just fallen and hurt his knees

 

-> You won’t hurry to heal the hurt, you gently heal the woud and let the pain pass away while comforting him , NO judgement

 

Give room for yourself to BREATHE through the process and be compassionate towards your growth journey.

 

#2 Take Ownership Of Our Own Happiness

 

Truth: No one can make you feel happy, it’s YOUR duty to do it for yourself.

 

Why that’s a good thing? -> You are no longer a victim, you can choose to be empowered.

 

When you get this, you can CHOOSE to be whoever you want to be and be happy whenever you want it.

 

Stop judging yourself so harshly when you have a bad day or didn’t get what you want temporarily.

 

#3 Self-Love Letter Exercise

 

It’s natural to focus on our LACK/inadequacies/concerns because our brain is automatically searching for threats to make sure you survive.

 

But our brain isn’t designed to make us thrive or happy.

 

So if you can focus your attention on writing a self love letter on what you want to improve about yourself,

 

WHY you deserve to be loved,

 

WHAT you have already accomplished,

 

what qualities do you have to make you successful in life and love…

 

then it’s a great reminder on why you are GOOD ENOUGH.

 

#4 Celebrate small wins daily

 

Growth is a gradual, daily, never-ending process.

 

IT’s a way of BEING, it’s a mindset,  instead of a one time thing.

 

So you always want to REMEMBER how far you’ve gone in life, what you have learnt in the past,

 

why you are GRATEFUL for these LIFE LESSONS that are designed to help you become a better human being.

 

Take 3-5 mins a day to remember your accomplishments and these mini celebrations will build up your confidence and success.

 

#5 Environment is more powerful than willpower

 

No successful people can succeed if they spend time with people who drag them down, complain lives, bitch about gossips and do stupid shit.

 

Every 3 months, EVALUATE who you spend time with the most and see if they’re encouraging you the most.

 

If yes, then nurture that relationships.

 

If no, get the fuck out ASAP, even when sometimes those who love us the most fuck us up the most.

 

Conclusions: Whatever your path is, remember that SELF LOVE is the foundation of everything.

 

Your relationship  success, career achievement, and personal fulfillment all depend on it!

Dating is simple but not easy, especially in an age of social media and phone addiction, it’s HARDER for people to connect on DEEPER LEVEL.

 

But today you are happy, because you’re about to get on a “DATE”.

 

Maybe you met her online, maybe you’ve met each other via events, so how do you guarantee you won’t FVCK UP?

 

Tip #1 唔好淨係擔心對方想做咩，諗下自己做咩會令自己開心！

 

If you don’t enjoy the activities/place/food/event, no matter how NICE or thought out, she is not going to enjoy the time with you.

 

Emotions are contagious, if you feel boring/dull/unexcited, she is going to feel the same.

 

Rmb: Dating is supposed to be FUN-oriented, it’s NOT about an interview.

 

If you two can’t even have light, simple, zero-thinking FUN, you two aren’t compatible at all as a couple, and there’s no need to talk about deeper stuff.

 

So any “dates” must be fun-oriented, do something YOU will feel happy, then your “date” won’t feel like a traditional date and it’s so EASY to go to the next step.

 

Tip #2 Have high standards, but NOT a checklist.

 

Yes, quality men have high standards, but what you THINK you want is often NOT what you truly get attracted to.

 

So don’t treat your checklist items as MUSTs.

 

Instead, be OPEN to the REAL LIFE connection at a feeling level, at an energetic level, at a GUT level.

 

It’s not how great her online profile is written, it’s NOT about how funny/engaging her texts are,

 

it’s about the REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE with her at a deeper energetic level.

 

Instead of using your BRAIN/HEAD to THINK if she fits, use your HEART to FEEL if she’s someone you want to bring into your life.

 

Relationships are rarely pure LOGIC, it’s about the EMOTIONS and energy exchange you two feel.

 

POINT: If you meet a girl and can be INSPIRED by her, and she can be INSPIRED by you,

 

then maybe there’s a chance that you two can integrate with each other and explore the possibilities of a deeper relationship.

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我呢，最近想認識一個女仔，但係我係果種唔識開口果種人，因為自己無乜異性緣，同其他女仔都未試過有單獨傾計既時間，每次都係一大班人咁樣傾。

 

但係我睇完你既影片，我都無法運用自如，更加用唔出泥，我仲讀緊書，而我真係好想變成一個成功既人。

 

希望你可以解答我點樣可以開口同人傾計同點保持關係。

 

你既影片好多時我感覺都係用係酒吧到，希望可以睇更多關於係非club既場合認識異性既影片，加油呀，我支持你 – Sky

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＃1 Bro, stop giving excuses that I am “not that kind of guy” or “無乜異性緣”, you are reinforcing an OLD IDENTITY that is not serving you.

 

I am not teaching you any techniques now because all the talking techniques are already taught in past videos.

 

But let me ask you a deeper question: You said you want to become successful, but do you think a successful people will operate at such VICTIM mentality saying “oh, i never met girls in the past, I am not the kind of guy who speaks?”

 

If you want to be successful at anything, stop living in your OLD FUCKING STORY of what you failed, OR blaming your past.

 

MTFU and do something, I have already taught you: The best way to talk to people is to use your OBSERVATIONAL SKILL, use the environment, or use the CONTEXT of the situation and say something that is RELEVANT to the situation and RELEVANT to her.

 

E.g. I was in a gym, I saw a girl doing squat with her DB next to me.

 

Even though her form is good, I later talked to her “Hey, I just saw you doing squat over there. But your knees are a bit too forward, that might hurt your leg, be careful.”

 

BOOM, easy opener. She looked at me and giggled.

 

#2 You don’t like hanging out in bars? Great, I don’t pick up in bars much as well.

 

But are you actively doing ACTIVITIES you love?

 

How many times have I suggested you all to explore FUN SOCIAL activities for yourself?

 

When will you understand that your current lack of social activities is hurting your happiness and fulfillment as a man?

 

I bet you haven’t done shit bro. So what are you to complain?

 

How many videos have you watched? How much ACTION have you taken?

 

MTFU bro, I appreciate your support and that’s why I am being HONEST and having some tough love on you.

 

If you arent willing to help yourself, I can’t fvcking help you as well. Got i

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最近去朋友派對，同新認識的女性朋友傾計，不過幾個都好冷淡，

因為對方冷淡所以我都冇抄到對方電話，費事抄d冷電話返來，點解決呢個問題

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#1 60/40, 70/30 Interaction Rule -> You aren’t the only one in the interaction!

Pay attention to females’ response, be AWARE if they are OPEN at all.

 

#2 You actually did well, nothing wrong with it, are you enjoying yourself though?

 

If you are not having FUN and enjoying these kinds of social environment, it’s counterproductive to your success.

 

#3 Success is in the ACTION, not the OUTCOME of it.

 

Keep trying, keep experimenting, keep increasing your sample size before you draw conclusions.

Yo Man, 終於有個機會可以問你野 XD

 

自從新識左一個女仔以來一直謹守你的教導，例如be an Alpha male﹑少text﹑push & pull等等。

 

然而，唔知係咪因為佢上星期出TRIP 大陸，我show太多關心，或者其他原因 (費事估啦，我情願將焦點放係solution)…

 

尋晚收到佢msg，大意係: 覺得同我相處好有壓力，普通朋友唔應該咁之類blahblahblah。

 

佢之前一D表現 (例如佢會qualify自己﹑特登比佢去end text轉頭又會撩返我 << 算唔算呢?) 令我相信佢應該對我有好感 (或者學你講，assume佢有!)。

 

我的問題係，我應該點回應 (或唔回應)? 佢咁講，係咪都係一種shit test? 定有其他用意?

 

BTW，好多謝你的教導! 應該真係有好多兄弟需要呢類教戰! Thanks,Marty

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#1 There isn’t enough information on why you fucked up.

 

But one obvious thing is as you said “唔知係咪因為佢上星期出TRIP 大陸，我show太多關心，或者其他原因”…

 

it shows that you show too much SWEET CARING as a friend and LACK sexual tension.

 

If she says “覺得同我相處好有壓力，普通朋友唔應該咁”, this implies that she really sees you as a FRIEND.

 

At some point, you tried to escalate to a more sexual relationship from a foundation of FRIEND, it rarely works that way and that is why the girl feels your advance and feels pressure.

 

Remember: It’s hard to use a normal “caring friend” image to seduce her, it rarely works that way.

 

It’s much better if you come out as a “I am sexually interested in you, I want to see who you are, but it’s cool if you don’t want that and I will move on” frame.

 

#2 You have 2 options now:

 

Either hang out as a normal just-friend, OR cut that communication for now.

 

It’s not a shit test, it’s just the TRUTH that you haven’t made her feel SEXUALLY DESIRED first before you establish so much emotional rapport as a friend.

 

So learn from this experience, pick an option,

 

watch more MTFU’s videos and move on to the next girl.

Hi Man神，最近小弟發現左自己讀書十幾年D英文都係半桶水咁，Grammar 底打得麻麻地。

 

而我亦都深深明白識英文嘅重要性，無論學問又好,溝外國女又好,Build up自己d values 都好,真係好有用。

 

所以Man神, 有冇個基本文法以外嘅grammar list可以比我知道(例如倒裝句之類 Thx ：)

 

Ps 雖然睇落同溝女冇關係,但係我相信英文可以有助我地成為alpha male (如果我冇錯嘅話XD

 

Btw 之前invite 女果封newsletter,我查完之後發現, me and my friends 好似要係object 先得?! —-某位中學生上

 

#1 English used to be my PASSION when I was studying, it comes natural to me but I have spent many years since kindergarten to be comfortable with this skill.

 

Right now, I know how to use English fluently, and I use English without any thoughts (Unconscious Competence),

 

but I am no longer in the STUDY MODE so I don’t pay too much attention to grammar in my communications.

 

#2 But what I can tell you is that great yes if English isn’t about reciting vocabs or using inversions,

 

mastering English is about being effective in your communication so that you can read, write, speak, listen and understand.

 

#3 I can’t teach you now because I really not in the exam field anymore, but here’s what I DID in the past to be the top 2% English in exams.

 

– Experiement a ton of English tutors until I find the right ones.

 

Some are more grammar-focused/old school English, some are more exam-oriented and teach you SKILLS to excel. You need both. So find your tutorial teachers.

 

– If you want to excel, you do ALL CE, AL, DSE past papers available.

 

That’s what all C grades or above students do and you gotta do them to get a feel of how English can be examined.

 

– The more immersion you have in English, the easier you know how to INTEGRATE it in your life.

 

Everyone says that they watch movies, read books and speak in English to become good.

 

I think I got Bs instead of As mainly because I lacked these. I missed the immersion part.

 

So if you could make English part of your life, there’s no reason you won’t improve.

Man神你個Q&A好正呀！學左好多嘢！

 

最近想溝一個女仔，有啲野想請教，呢個女仔係IG認識，佢一開始都有邀請我參加佢同朋友嘅活動拉，不過個日就冇咩點講野，

 

不過wts都有keep住傾幾日，因為我見到佢冇主動搵我拉，咁我就試下唔搵佢、過幾日又真係搵返我，自從個日一齊玩完後、大家都有開個Group下次再約。

 

=> #1 Why didn’t you chat with her in real person? You’ve wasted your opportunity because REAL PERSON interaction is what matters.

 

#2 Constant Whatsapp communication afterwards, what does that communicates?

 

You are a boy who is afraid to talk to her in REAL PERSON, and rely on this “safe platform” to try to seduce her.

PLUS, you are overcommunicating, which means you are already in FZ.

 

咁到宜家，成班人都出左3-4次，仲有玩咩真心話大冒險遊戲，佢啲朋友都知我對佢有興趣，個女仔亦都話未追過點知呢？

 

咁我想問我係咪要開始約佢單獨出街，培養下感覺，普通出街做下啲窩心動作，盡快去行動呢？

 

因為佢又知我鍾意佢、佢又應該有感覺，不過我地近排都好少wts，只係有兩日佢無哪哪會問下我野，我IG回應下佢咁，不過對話都係傾一陣就斷。應該點做呢？因為知道出到街又係另一件事。

 

=》#1 Why the fuck her friends know you are interested in her? That’s fucked up already.

 

#2 Even that girl knows you like her and verbally says so?

 

Oh boy… that tells me that your behaviors have been too nice, too sweet…

 

And you even ASKS her “if you should date her?”, is that what a man do? Ask girls permission to date her!?

 

個女仔都算幾靜、係一啲人面前唔係咁鍾意講野，不過出到黎都講多左，而我本身亦都係比較少野講嘅人，有時就會驚諗唔到話題講呀咁，wts都講左唔少，而且之前都溝過幾個女仔、都失敗告終，令到自己每次都有啲擔心，

 

甚至唔知點溝一個女仔，先可以一齊到令佢鍾意自己，吸引佢，亦有好多朋友話個時間錯左，有啲野太遲講，

 

所以我都開始混亂，成日覺得自己可以付出好多，不過做左女仔又冇咩感覺咁，所以都開始反思緊、應該點做呢，所以希望man神可以幫下手、比啲意見 唔該你

 

=> 『成日覺得自己可以付出好多，不過做左女仔又冇咩感覺咁』, You are good guy with heart, but you don’t fucking understand how attraction works.

 

You are also a typical nice guy, who hopes to DO STUFF FOR GIRLS and logically hope she will like you.

 

Ok bro, I bet you haven’t watched much of my videos.

 

There’s so much foundational concepts you aren’t getting e.g. teasing, challenging, having FUN

 

My challenge to you:

 

If you want to understand why you fuck up, go watch my past videos on nice guys, challenging, teasing, neediness.

 

That’s the most urgent thing you need to do now.

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Yo manson！Ken again….我放棄左之前我講過fdzone左我既女仔，再次展開新既精彩旅程…

 

突然有個fd搵返我，叫我陪佢行mk。我嗰日好chill，諗到咩就講咩，吾覺意可能attract到佢…（佢都算係高質野）。

 

佢之後去左個trip，期間都有flirt我…完左之後，仲話想我接機..話想見我…係巴士個時仲借我膊頭呢用..so sweet

 

正當我考慮接吾接受佢既時候….之後我可能關心得佢多左…佢feel到啲野.就無啦reject我。WTF？

 

我呆左陣…問佢show interest既動作點解，佢話有小小姐…不過我之後都解釋返俾佢聽，Care not equal to love…(畢竟confess=lose everything)

 

但係我覺得幾可惜，所以想問下man神，呢段感情仲有冇possibility…

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In short, you have fallen into FZ without you realizing it.

 

＃1  You thought you were chilling, saying whatever you like and attracting her.

But pay attention to the CONTEXT, you said『突然有個fd搵返我，叫我陪佢行mk。』, this already subcommunicated that SHE treats you as a friend.

 

You 陪佢行mk means that you’re already investing your TIME/ENERGY doing friends stuff.

 

To her, you are SO EASY to get you to do stuff with her, and that’s NOT a sexy attractive trait man.

 

#2 『想我接機..話想見我…係巴士個時仲借我膊頭呢用..so sweet』

-> Another compliance test. Again, you’re saying YES too easily and overinvesting your time to do these “sweet boyfriend behaviors”before you two had sexual contacts.

-> You thought would lead you to bf/gf, but in fact too much sweetness/ niceness BEFORE you two are bf/gf often won’t produce the results you want.

 

#3 『之後我可能關心得佢多左…佢feel到啲野.就無啦reject我。』

 

-> See? You already said you CARE about her too much, which isn’t something you should do BEFORE you enter a relationship.

 

-> “Care not equal to love”: What she really means is that “she likes the attention/caring/niceness you give to her,

 

but she can’t FEEL AROUSED SEXUALLY,

she can’t feel the BADNESS/EDGINESS/MYSTERIOUSNESS from you.

She can’t feel your STRENGTH to say no to her and do stuff you like.

 

-> She can’t feel the SEXUAL TENSION from you challenging/teasing/making fun of her.  That’s why she can’t “feel aroused enough”to convince herself logically she is falling in love with you.

 

-> Learn from this and move on.

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嗨 man神  的確呢排我係有啲忙，無係咁睇email，細佬我對你唔住。

 

不過其實我有將你啲片downlond落手機自己得閑搭車𠴱陣慢慢睇。

 

而且真係有將你講過嘅嘢做一啲reflection同summary打落notebook提自己要點樣再做好啲。

 

而我近排有過少少嘅問題。

 

係咁嘅本身我睇完你本書仔之後就開始將自己點樣去變得更高存在感啲，而呢招的而且確係對我有幫助。

 

之後個女仔都會有約我出街等等，又會去invite我去啲活動等等。

 

呢啲都好正常，但係有陣時單獨whatsapp𠴱陣又會無啦啦斷咗個話題，雖然我明白你同我講過就係whatsapp就係一個平台俾我約佢出嚟。

 

但係有陣時我哋兩個都會忙，有陣時無時間約出嚟等等。咁呢個時候就需要呢啲軟件幫手。

 

究竟係咪我心態上有啲問題，雖然我明白唔好睇到個平台咁重要，但如果係你又會點做呢。

 

另外我有多個問題，你之前講過點樣turn好自己個default setting去到出面嘅精英咁。

 

但係有時我只係可以keep到一陣，之後又唔記得咗要點做／又會被地方影響咗，有咩方法可能keep it up，可以提住自己每分每刻都要100％精精神神. 而唔想只係做三秒鐘男人。

 

或者有冇好地方好推介俾自己。

 

最後附上我嘅證據去show俾你睇我唔係一個只係stay係垃圾confort zone嘅pussy，而係有決心向上流嘅廿歲精英 lol。 -Z

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#1 Well done, you are doing what MANY guys aren’t doing.

 

You are ACTIVELY taking notes to consolidate what you learn from MTFU free videos. Keep that up!

 

#2 Good, you are expanding your PRESENCE, which is CRUCIAL whether to attract girls or keep a relationship passionate!

 

#3 As regards Whatsapp, you DON”T necessarily need to keep the conversation going.

 

 

I constantly STOP whatsapping girls because I AM A BUSY GUY who is dominating his path!

 

If you want her to keep investing in you passively, showcase your lifestyle via social media and let her SEE it. She will mentally invest in you and keep you in mind.

 

And when the timing comes, whatapp her to INVITE her to do some FUN SOCIAL stuff, and you DO IT regardless of whether she is coming to join you!

 

#4 How to keep up your positive, action-taking, handsome, energetic default setting?

 

-> Motivation is like a shower, you gotta do it every fucking single day.

 

I prime myself everyday multiple times: I plan my days the night before,

 

I get into a gratitude state every morning,

 

I do some kind of physical work daily,

 

I read out affirmations with passion,

 

I remind myself with my vision and weekly goals daily,

 

I listen to high energy daily,

 

and I keep taking imperfect action daily!

 

Don’t just be motivated today and then slack tomorrow.

 

Because most of our environments/people SUCK and are conditioning us to live in scarcity /poverty /reaction-seeking state.

 

You must stand guard of your body and mind.

 

Cut off the negative news and rubbish media feeds.

 

Feed your mind with nutritious stuff and PROTECT IT.

 

Being a sucker requires no effort, it’s society’s default.

 

Being a winner requires vigilance, requires protection, requires you to set up a SYSTEM to protect your time, energy and assets.

 

Now it’s your time to pick a path!

Yo！我喺MTFU嘅Man神啊。

 

＃1 你對自己嘅性生活滿唔滿意呢？

 

如果你係坦白嘅話，可能你都會搵到一兩樣嘢想改善下，

 

無論係做愛嘅次數多啲，又或者每次做愛時你同你嘅partner可以多啲激情。

 

無論係點都好，有好幾份科學研究報告就分享咗，

 

原來Sexual Passion係有分兩種：

 

Harmonious／和諧式嘅性愛激情 VS Obsessive／癡迷式嘅性愛激情。

 

＃2 所謂嘅『和諧式嘅性愛激情』，

 

就係講緊當性愛喺能夠恰當地整合，並且同其他部分部份嘅自己和睦共處，唔會影響到自己其他嘅areas。

 

亦都即係話：如果你能夠將性愛同其他活動一樣，融入成為自己生活中嘅一部分，而唔係人生嘅全部；

 

咁樣除咗你同你嘅伴侶會減少磨擦之外，你都更加能夠有效率地控製到自己嘅性慾。

 

相反，一啲沉迷喺『癡迷式性愛激情』嘅人，佢哋除咗性生活唔美滿之外，佢哋嘅感情亦都會好飄忽唔穩定。

 

 

＃3 點樣知道自己係咪墮入咗『癡迷式性愛激情』嘅陷阱呢？你要問下自己以下兩條問題：

 

第一，性愛對你嚟講係咪一種目標呢？

 

如果你覺得sex喺你每日做嘢checklist裡面其中一樣嘢，

 

你咁樣嘅mindset除咗會製造一啲好唔健康嘅relationship之外，你亦都會損害自己搞嘢嘅機會。

 

你越係覺得得到sex係一種achievement，你就會越難得到佢。

 

因為sex本身就係一啲自然會發生嘅事情，性愛原本就係兩個玩得埋啱傾嘅人慢慢會到達嘅位置；

 

如果你咁desperate一定要今晚扑到嘢，你最後就自己搞喎原本個flow。

 

＃4 第二，性愛係咪你大腦唯一諗到嘅嘢呢？

 

如果你行街見到某條索女廣告，跟住十幾分鐘都係咁幻想自己同條女扑野，咁樣就代表你係完全唔能夠控制自己性慾。

 

間唔中諗下咸濕嘢當然係好正常啦，男人女人都會咁做；

 

但係如果你諗嘅嘢／講嘅話題／做嘅嘢／全部都淨係純粹圍繞住sex，你好可能就已經性上癮。

 

＃5 重點就係：如果你想提升性愛美滿度，你就要學習『和諧地』面對性愛呢樣嘢。

 

除咗一方面你係唔應該讓sex控制自己所有思想行為，但係另一方面你都唔好害怕sex呢個話題。

 

因為真相就係：性愛只係每一個健康嘅人每一日生活嘅一部分，同你平時刷牙洗麵食飯飲水一樣咁正常普通。

 

當你能夠接受sex is no big deal，唔好過份沉迷佢或者逃避佢，你自然嘅性吸引力就會自動增加，你能夠得到嘅性愛機緣亦都會大大增加！

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Hi man 我想問下我應該點做。我今年 17 歲，升 F6.

 

話說之前我去咗一個小學 gathering , 發覺我鐘意咗其中一個小學同班女同學。其實我地小學都幾 friend, 但 5 年冇見我地好似疏遠咗。

 

但係我又吾知點有進一步關係，因為我又吾知direct 佢講乜好，次次早嚟食飯都係成大班人，好難真係 private chat.

 

佢係一個比較靜嘅女仔，Whatsapp 又吾係成日睇，我地班同學約咗遲d成班出嚟打邊爐，我應該點樣令佢對我有興趣 or 好感？

 

我嗰日應吾應該主動約佢一齊搭地鐵去打邊爐？(因為我地住好近)我應該做d乜？Thanks man.

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＃1 When in group settings, you must find “excuses” or moments where you two are isolated with each other.

 

Do not try to attract/escalate in front of others, girls don’t want to be slut-shamed so you must seduce her in private settings.

 

#2 If you want her to be interested in you, do more “passive indirect attraction”.

 

You should have already be DOING fun social stuff in your life, and posting cool pics and videos. Let her see you via these social media means.

 

#3 If you really want to invite her, you could just let her know that “Hey, I will be taking MTR to the hotpot place, feel free to join me.”

 

#4 You gotta start to spark more attraction.

 

Right now everything is boring, bland, non-emotional charged, no teasing, no banter, no fun playful challenging stuff. Get to that when possible ASAP!