分類: 成功

If you remember, we talked about why dependence will KILL every relationship, because your NEED for someone else to COMPLETE you will create unhealthy relationships.

 

That’s why we must first grow from dependence to independence stage.

 

But that’s stage 2, because if you stay too long/stuck in independence and autonomy stage, you won’t be able to experience something deeper: connection & intimacy.

 

That’s why you must then grow to stage 3 interdependence, where we learn to work with our partners to magnify our human experience.

 

If you are now too independent and FEEL quite lonely in your life, maybe it’s a sign that your life lacks connection and fulfillment.

 

Here’s 3 questions to guide you on how to lean on others in a healthy non-toxic way.

 

Tip #1 Think about where you are trying to “go alone” too much in your life. Where in your life are you afraid to ask for help? Love life? Job? Friends?

 

Are you doing to PROVE that you are capable of being independent, OR you are afraid that people will think you are WEAK when you ask for help?

 

Humans are social species. Apes alone weak, apes together strong.

At certain point of your life, you NEED to learn to let others in so that we help each other thrive.

 

Tip #2 How many “friends” in your life REALLY REALLY know you?

your fears, insecurities, dreams, aspirations etc.

 

If you have 1-5 great friends, that’s awesome because MOST people have ZERO 知己.

 

So be honest, if you don’t have any, it’s time to reach out to your old friends and maybe meet some new friends.

 

Tip #3 What are you scared to do most? Something that might make you look powerless, weak, vulnerable?

 

The truth is it’s VERY HARD to do it all alone as a lone wolf.

 

Our fears and insecurities are pointers on the areas where we may NEED other people to help us, teach us, nurture us, love us, help us grow.

 

Yes, being happy, independent, self-sufficient is a GROWTH from stage 1 dependence to stage 2 independence.

 

But if you truly want to dominate life faster, you will need INTIMACY or a COMMUNITY.

 

If being alone isn’t getting results you want, It’s time to listen to your HEART and take new action!

有冇試過覺得自己『唔夠好』去令對方鍾意自己，或者『自己唔值得被對方愛』呢？

 

我哋每個人都會有質疑自己價值嘅時候，無論係因為你父母對你過度嚴苛，又或者你女朋友太正令到你自卑嘅感覺，我哋都有一啲情感嘅包袱令我哋忘記點樣愛錫自己。

 

但係如果你想係一定感情之中感受到自己已經足夠，如果你想提升自己嘅自尊心嘅話，

 

你就必須學識點樣增加你對自己嘅愛，你對自己嘅self love，which is one of the MTFU’s core value.

 

#1 Use Compassion For Our Emotions

 

When we feel low/negative/low self-esteem, we especially with ambitious achievers can be TOO HARD on ourselves.

 

-> Treat your less desirable thoughts about yourself like a 3-year old child who has just fallen and hurt his knees

 

-> You won’t hurry to heal the hurt, you gently heal the woud and let the pain pass away while comforting him , NO judgement

 

Give room for yourself to BREATHE through the process and be compassionate towards your growth journey.

 

#2 Take Ownership Of Our Own Happiness

 

Truth: No one can make you feel happy, it’s YOUR duty to do it for yourself.

 

Why that’s a good thing? -> You are no longer a victim, you can choose to be empowered.

 

When you get this, you can CHOOSE to be whoever you want to be and be happy whenever you want it.

 

Stop judging yourself so harshly when you have a bad day or didn’t get what you want temporarily.

 

#3 Self-Love Letter Exercise

 

It’s natural to focus on our LACK/inadequacies/concerns because our brain is automatically searching for threats to make sure you survive.

 

But our brain isn’t designed to make us thrive or happy.

 

So if you can focus your attention on writing a self love letter on what you want to improve about yourself,

 

WHY you deserve to be loved,

 

WHAT you have already accomplished,

 

what qualities do you have to make you successful in life and love…

 

then it’s a great reminder on why you are GOOD ENOUGH.

 

#4 Celebrate small wins daily

 

Growth is a gradual, daily, never-ending process.

 

IT’s a way of BEING, it’s a mindset,  instead of a one time thing.

 

So you always want to REMEMBER how far you’ve gone in life, what you have learnt in the past,

 

why you are GRATEFUL for these LIFE LESSONS that are designed to help you become a better human being.

 

Take 3-5 mins a day to remember your accomplishments and these mini celebrations will build up your confidence and success.

 

#5 Environment is more powerful than willpower

 

No successful people can succeed if they spend time with people who drag them down, complain lives, bitch about gossips and do stupid shit.

 

Every 3 months, EVALUATE who you spend time with the most and see if they’re encouraging you the most.

 

If yes, then nurture that relationships.

 

If no, get the fuck out ASAP, even when sometimes those who love us the most fuck us up the most.

 

Conclusions: Whatever your path is, remember that SELF LOVE is the foundation of everything.

 

Your relationship  success, career achievement, and personal fulfillment all depend on it!

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我呢，最近想認識一個女仔，但係我係果種唔識開口果種人，因為自己無乜異性緣，同其他女仔都未試過有單獨傾計既時間，每次都係一大班人咁樣傾。

 

但係我睇完你既影片，我都無法運用自如，更加用唔出泥，我仲讀緊書，而我真係好想變成一個成功既人。

 

希望你可以解答我點樣可以開口同人傾計同點保持關係。

 

你既影片好多時我感覺都係用係酒吧到，希望可以睇更多關於係非club既場合認識異性既影片，加油呀，我支持你 – Sky

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＃1 Bro, stop giving excuses that I am “not that kind of guy” or “無乜異性緣”, you are reinforcing an OLD IDENTITY that is not serving you.

 

I am not teaching you any techniques now because all the talking techniques are already taught in past videos.

 

But let me ask you a deeper question: You said you want to become successful, but do you think a successful people will operate at such VICTIM mentality saying “oh, i never met girls in the past, I am not the kind of guy who speaks?”

 

If you want to be successful at anything, stop living in your OLD FUCKING STORY of what you failed, OR blaming your past.

 

MTFU and do something, I have already taught you: The best way to talk to people is to use your OBSERVATIONAL SKILL, use the environment, or use the CONTEXT of the situation and say something that is RELEVANT to the situation and RELEVANT to her.

 

E.g. I was in a gym, I saw a girl doing squat with her DB next to me.

 

Even though her form is good, I later talked to her “Hey, I just saw you doing squat over there. But your knees are a bit too forward, that might hurt your leg, be careful.”

 

BOOM, easy opener. She looked at me and giggled.

 

#2 You don’t like hanging out in bars? Great, I don’t pick up in bars much as well.

 

But are you actively doing ACTIVITIES you love?

 

How many times have I suggested you all to explore FUN SOCIAL activities for yourself?

 

When will you understand that your current lack of social activities is hurting your happiness and fulfillment as a man?

 

I bet you haven’t done shit bro. So what are you to complain?

 

How many videos have you watched? How much ACTION have you taken?

 

MTFU bro, I appreciate your support and that’s why I am being HONEST and having some tough love on you.

 

If you arent willing to help yourself, I can’t fvcking help you as well. Got i

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最近去朋友派對，同新認識的女性朋友傾計，不過幾個都好冷淡，

因為對方冷淡所以我都冇抄到對方電話，費事抄d冷電話返來，點解決呢個問題

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#1 60/40, 70/30 Interaction Rule -> You aren’t the only one in the interaction!

Pay attention to females’ response, be AWARE if they are OPEN at all.

 

#2 You actually did well, nothing wrong with it, are you enjoying yourself though?

 

If you are not having FUN and enjoying these kinds of social environment, it’s counterproductive to your success.

 

#3 Success is in the ACTION, not the OUTCOME of it.

 

Keep trying, keep experimenting, keep increasing your sample size before you draw conclusions.

Hi Man神，最近小弟發現左自己讀書十幾年D英文都係半桶水咁，Grammar 底打得麻麻地。

 

而我亦都深深明白識英文嘅重要性，無論學問又好,溝外國女又好,Build up自己d values 都好,真係好有用。

 

所以Man神, 有冇個基本文法以外嘅grammar list可以比我知道(例如倒裝句之類 Thx ：)

 

Ps 雖然睇落同溝女冇關係,但係我相信英文可以有助我地成為alpha male (如果我冇錯嘅話XD

 

Btw 之前invite 女果封newsletter,我查完之後發現, me and my friends 好似要係object 先得?! —-某位中學生上

 

#1 English used to be my PASSION when I was studying, it comes natural to me but I have spent many years since kindergarten to be comfortable with this skill.

 

Right now, I know how to use English fluently, and I use English without any thoughts (Unconscious Competence),

 

but I am no longer in the STUDY MODE so I don’t pay too much attention to grammar in my communications.

 

#2 But what I can tell you is that great yes if English isn’t about reciting vocabs or using inversions,

 

mastering English is about being effective in your communication so that you can read, write, speak, listen and understand.

 

#3 I can’t teach you now because I really not in the exam field anymore, but here’s what I DID in the past to be the top 2% English in exams.

 

– Experiement a ton of English tutors until I find the right ones.

 

Some are more grammar-focused/old school English, some are more exam-oriented and teach you SKILLS to excel. You need both. So find your tutorial teachers.

 

– If you want to excel, you do ALL CE, AL, DSE past papers available.

 

That’s what all C grades or above students do and you gotta do them to get a feel of how English can be examined.

 

– The more immersion you have in English, the easier you know how to INTEGRATE it in your life.

 

Everyone says that they watch movies, read books and speak in English to become good.

 

I think I got Bs instead of As mainly because I lacked these. I missed the immersion part.

 

So if you could make English part of your life, there’s no reason you won’t improve.

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嗨 man神  的確呢排我係有啲忙，無係咁睇email，細佬我對你唔住。

 

不過其實我有將你啲片downlond落手機自己得閑搭車𠴱陣慢慢睇。

 

而且真係有將你講過嘅嘢做一啲reflection同summary打落notebook提自己要點樣再做好啲。

 

而我近排有過少少嘅問題。

 

係咁嘅本身我睇完你本書仔之後就開始將自己點樣去變得更高存在感啲，而呢招的而且確係對我有幫助。

 

之後個女仔都會有約我出街等等，又會去invite我去啲活動等等。

 

呢啲都好正常，但係有陣時單獨whatsapp𠴱陣又會無啦啦斷咗個話題，雖然我明白你同我講過就係whatsapp就係一個平台俾我約佢出嚟。

 

但係有陣時我哋兩個都會忙，有陣時無時間約出嚟等等。咁呢個時候就需要呢啲軟件幫手。

 

究竟係咪我心態上有啲問題，雖然我明白唔好睇到個平台咁重要，但如果係你又會點做呢。

 

另外我有多個問題，你之前講過點樣turn好自己個default setting去到出面嘅精英咁。

 

但係有時我只係可以keep到一陣，之後又唔記得咗要點做／又會被地方影響咗，有咩方法可能keep it up，可以提住自己每分每刻都要100％精精神神. 而唔想只係做三秒鐘男人。

 

或者有冇好地方好推介俾自己。

 

最後附上我嘅證據去show俾你睇我唔係一個只係stay係垃圾confort zone嘅pussy，而係有決心向上流嘅廿歲精英 lol。 -Z

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#1 Well done, you are doing what MANY guys aren’t doing.

 

You are ACTIVELY taking notes to consolidate what you learn from MTFU free videos. Keep that up!

 

#2 Good, you are expanding your PRESENCE, which is CRUCIAL whether to attract girls or keep a relationship passionate!

 

#3 As regards Whatsapp, you DON”T necessarily need to keep the conversation going.

 

 

I constantly STOP whatsapping girls because I AM A BUSY GUY who is dominating his path!

 

If you want her to keep investing in you passively, showcase your lifestyle via social media and let her SEE it. She will mentally invest in you and keep you in mind.

 

And when the timing comes, whatapp her to INVITE her to do some FUN SOCIAL stuff, and you DO IT regardless of whether she is coming to join you!

 

#4 How to keep up your positive, action-taking, handsome, energetic default setting?

 

-> Motivation is like a shower, you gotta do it every fucking single day.

 

I prime myself everyday multiple times: I plan my days the night before,

 

I get into a gratitude state every morning,

 

I do some kind of physical work daily,

 

I read out affirmations with passion,

 

I remind myself with my vision and weekly goals daily,

 

I listen to high energy daily,

 

and I keep taking imperfect action daily!

 

Don’t just be motivated today and then slack tomorrow.

 

Because most of our environments/people SUCK and are conditioning us to live in scarcity /poverty /reaction-seeking state.

 

You must stand guard of your body and mind.

 

Cut off the negative news and rubbish media feeds.

 

Feed your mind with nutritious stuff and PROTECT IT.

 

Being a sucker requires no effort, it’s society’s default.

 

Being a winner requires vigilance, requires protection, requires you to set up a SYSTEM to protect your time, energy and assets.

 

Now it’s your time to pick a path!

[男女感情] 點解你30歲都仲係單身？

#1 缺乏信任

#2 害怕自己的舊有壞習慣

#3 曾經被傷害

#4 追隨不存在的ideal image

#5 過份保護自己

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Man神：你好，我係啱啱開始follow你嘅subcriber。我宜家有一個拍左拖一年半嘅女朋友，但係我仍然覺得你嘅page啟發到我，會令我反省自己。

 

問題係拍拖耐左，女朋友放假會成日搵佢嘅朋友，而我就返part time所以同佢見面少左。我會好掛住佢，想成日whatsapp佢，甚至令佢覺得煩。我覺得自己開始變得clingy，我知道拍拖耐左要比私人空間對方，但控制唔到自己想搵佢嘅衝動。

 

我知道自己有好大嘅insecurity，害怕分手。另一方面，我好愛佢，想搵佢多d黎維繫感情。呢個dilemma令我內心爭扎好耐，希望Man神可以比d意見我，Tks! Marco

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#1 Yes Marco, you are right, when you become clingy, you will suffocate the relationship and your emotional neediness will repel her away.

 

Why neediness kill attraction?

Because it implies you have scared mating opportunity, that you are WEAK and UNRELIABLE as a man to get things you want.

 

As I said last time, Neediness comes from our need for something outside of ourselves to complete us. How independent are you?

 

How much neediness do you have towards other people? How lonely are you? How many people do you need others to complete your life?

 

The outcome of getting rid of neediness is a process of thinking critically and deeply about your Values and Principles, Boundaries, and Investing in yourself first, having a clear passionate purposeful life.  

Then neediness fall off naturally, and then you learn flirting skills

 

Teaching needy guys with flirting skills, is like giving psychopaths guns, it hurts everyone!

 

#2 Right now, you said you LOVE her and want the relationship to work.

 

That’s good, but understand that the “love” you are describing is very likely not “love”, but a need for her to validate that you are worthy of receiving love.

 

So Marco brother, you know what a feminine woman wants?

 

The feminine wants to relax and lean on something strong; desires reassurance, stability, protection, attention; yearns to be filled

 

The masculine stands tall and strong like a mountain; provides reassurance and protection; finds fulfillment in himself.

 

Non-Neediness displays a lack of…

 

– Deference 恭敬從命- Approval seeking – Desperation and Begging

 

To fix your neediness in the short term,

 

– Eliminate the mental garbage from pop media, news, TV programs, most PUA material, and most status quo influences

 

– Fix your physiology, Diet, Fitness

 

But in the long term, you MUST figure out what your LIFE PURPOSE is.

 

A man’s purpose will be his guiding light through the challenges of life and love (David Deida), apart from women.

 

Self-fulfillment comes from finding those things that bring you pleasure and excelling in them.

 

Find your Purpose that contributes beyond yourself, be fully engaged with it,

 

then not only will you become the most attractive version of yourself, but also you’ll become the dream quality guy that high quality women want.

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Man神 我中意左學校一個女仔，之前都幾好傾，亦都有少少普通身體接觸，但後尾佢整親放左好耐(2個月左右)病假。

 

e排都佢返返泥都有傾下一兩句，我前幾日搵到佢fb同ig add左佢。但佢有update都吳accept我，仲有fb今日將某d相private左。

 

我想知我下一步應該點做，因為7月中我就畢業，又無佢contact。－A

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#1 Well, there must be a REASON why she doesn’t want to accept your IG, or PRIVATE her fb photos.

 

Very obviously, she doesn’t want you to see her stuff because she still hasn’t trusted you enough yet.

 

Not sure what you have done before, but probably not something great.

 

You can’t persuade her to change her mind now. All you can do is to REFLECT on your behaviors on where you have become needy/desperate/creepy in the past. Learn from your mistakes, and stop all these chasing.

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Hi man神 其實我一直有睇開你既youtube channel.

 

最返有個問題好困擾我, 因為我前排識左一個女仔. 學校臨完sem識, 好遲先主動approach佢. 出過一次街睇戲, 但之後我想再約佢又話唔得閒, 話要7月先得wor.

 

跟住我嬲嬲地whatsapp左d說話佢聽, 佢又嬲左, 仲話都想認識我呢個新朋友, 被friendzoned埋..

 

唉! 而家斷斷續續仲有whatsapp.. 但我自己覺得機會不大, 應否繼續? 再約佢? 猛追返等佢知我真係對佢有興趣? 跪求解答! 唔該你! － M

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#1 What the fuck did you tell her in Whatsapp? You pretend to be a fake Alpha 『狠狠調教佢』話佢懶高竇吊高來賣？OR you keep demanding her to find time to go out with you ASAP? lol

 

#2 Well you have screwed up, not just because you’re being passive aggressive when a girl doesn’t want to see you as quickly, but because you said “應否繼續 再約佢? 猛追返等佢知我真係對佢有興趣?

 

What the fuck is that? Bro, haven’t you watched my videos before?

 

I don’t even want to explain 追女仔 means, if you are a good student, you will now go and WATCH ALL of my videos in the past and immerse yourself with my teachings.

 

They are free, so you have no excuses not to learn. It’s up to you now, if you want to know what to do next, go watch more videos.

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man神，我想問下我而家想追一個好有個性， 好自我同埋好獨立既女仔，我可以點做？同埋我唔識點打開話題，求教。－S

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Mr. S, based on what I have just said now, what mistakes do you think you have made?

 

To all of my bros, this channel is MTFU, and that means you MTFU, take responsibility for your own life, and do your research when you discover great stuff from me.

 

Stop asking me the same questions because most likely, I have already answered them in the past.

Research in my playlist and immerse yourself in these free learning. Done.

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Hi Manson 你啲片越來越到肉 希望之後個啲可以更好 加油

 

件事係咁嘅 我條囡(已經符合Manthefvckup嘅準則放心)XD

 

Anyway，佢俾佢個Ex煩住曬，係咁話要番8000蚊，話咩之前用黎氹佢嘅禮物錢，我心諗又一個Beta male，分左手仲搞埋黎啲野。

 

本身係無野嘅，咁我條囡之前唔知係咪傻左同左佢一齊，有佢屋企啲資料，

 

之後就搵伯母講話咩你個囡差我8000蚊咁啦，但事實上無，佢又係咁威脅佢，因為伯母俾佢Ex係咁煩會打佢一鍋金。

 

個ex仲要有佢啲肉體照威脅佢，話唔俾8000蚊就send曬俾伯母，仲要見 我Send左就一定GG，個Ex有一堆電話號碼 block唔曬。

 

我地應該點做？同佢傾？定同警察叔叔講？囡又唔想搞大件事 有咩解決方案 ？

 

Thx Man 希望早啲睇到 – P

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#1 Don’t use my standards and values to choose girls.

 

Although you do want a committed, responsible, independent,  compassionate, empathetic, mature girl with a growth mindset to have a successful long term relationship , YOU gotta decide what you want.

 

#2 Well, don’t just blame the guy for being a weak beta male who’s trying to get $$ back to “save some face” in order to feel better about himself.

 

Yes, he has an extreme low self esteem, and he is doing these ugly stuff because he feels hurt.

 

BUT, a deeper problem is that very likely, the girlfriend you now have is very likely to be at the same caliber.

 

Otherwise, she would have the SUBSTANCE, SELF ESTEEM and WISDOM to know what kind of guys to be close with.

 

So bro, although she’s your gf now, I urge you to SCREEN CAREFULLY whether she truly fulfills the high quality traits I mentioned before.

 

Otherwise, it’s NOT the right relationship to enter into.

 

#3 As regards the 8000蚊 shit, and the crazy 伯母 who hits her daughter (WTF!?!?), there’s a few options you can choose:

 

– Continue to ignore that hurt animal, continue to block the numbers with patience, but this may lead him to do even crazier things.

 

– Give him $8000 directly, but he may use the pics as a means to further get more $$

 

– (Requires a lot of courage and maturity) Your girlfriend invites him out for a drink to talk about this issue.

Why?

 

Because Right now, this guy is deeply hurt, he is doing stupid things to get the attention from a LOVE he has lost, although on the outside he is angry and rude.

 

However, if your girlfriend can get him out, and have the self-control to LISTEN to his fears, pains, hurt and concerns,

 

WITHOUT trying to argue or explain herself, and if needed APOLOGIZE to him that she might have done something wrong too in the relationship that leads to a breakup…

 

….that tough guy WILL melt like a baby, feels that HE IS UNDERSTOOD and HEARD, and if he can MTFU, he will be reasonable and not further damage the relationship.

 

I know This is HARD to do, it requires a lot of courage, empathy, and emotional maturity,

 

but this is the BEST thing for both parties to HEAL from the mistakes they have made in the past.

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Yoyo Manson,最近睇你既溝女Q n A都有好多人講關於social life同吸引女性既話題。

 

我觀察發現好多身邊認識既男性同朋友都好多係圈子唔夠大，我慶幸係自己都有一兩個多人既大圈子，

 

但我開始都覺得唔夠，因為我social media唔亂加朋友，同埋自己同身邊fd都唔係玩開ig fb既人，所以我都唔多人follow ig fb like個D既。

 

=>＃1 I am also “not the kind of person”who plays fb/ig, because you know, most people are using it as mindless entertainment looking at stupid shit, so I don’t want to be like that.

 

But more recently, I realizing that social media can be used as a TOOL to help spread your message. So if you want to magnify your impact to others, whether socially or professionally, you HAVE to use social media strategically.

 

咁細佬我都係從事開design個類行業，其實我一值進修同識不少行業圈子內既出色名人，我好有信心可以有番咁上下知名度，

 

但係溝女上過我有幾位鍾意過我既女性同ex都係呢個圈內既人，但我地都無聯絡，佢地係我既舊同學，event識既女仔。

 

因為當時細過過有neediness，self doubt令佢地離開左。即使我有健康既social life同每日過得好開心，但間中都會諗起呢D令我心切成長既人。我真係好想番搵佢地，所以我專加專注自己既passion。好閒話講到呢到！

 

我想令到自己不斷既名聲更上一層樓、圈子更加大，有屬於自己既帝國，我更排開始想開始搞自己personal website，

 

開始想拍片上youtube講述我業內有關既技術野同放自已作品，好似Manson開YouTube教導學生，甚至想係自己個行業Kol化我自己，唔知Manson你對於我呢個提議想法點睇呢？

 

=> #2 Awesome, it’s good that have fame. But remember that fame, like money/power, is another tool. Most people chase fame for vanity or ego validation, don’t do that.

 

If you want to pursue fame, do it strategically and purposefully. When you do it right, you will OPEN more DOORS of opportunity – whether socially, sexually, or professionally.  

 

=> #3 Again, before you KOL yourself, understand what is the PURPOSE of doing so. Understand your WHY and REASONS behind doing this.

Story: I NEVER want fame or become a KOL. But I understand that if I truly want to create a big positive impact to the world, I cannot do it purely by hiding behind the screen.

 

Yes, you can become rich and successful secretly too, but our world is moving towards a world where we NEED to market, promote ourselves in order to get some ATTENTION.

 

So ask yourself: What kind of VALUE are you going to bring to the marketplace?

 

Are you going to be an entertaining character like many KOLs? Are you going to teach certain skills that you are good at?

 

Most importantly, if things are going well, can you handle the pressure from inevitable haters?

 

Can you let go of those malicious personal attacks or random critics from people who doesn’t have a real life?

 

Putting your face out there is a RISKY business, it is going to test your emotional strength. It’s a good training, so ask yourself if you want that.

 

咁樣一方面可以令自己人生更上一層樓，又可以制造到機會可以再次聯系搵呢幾位女士，想請教Manson呢知係咪一個好既方法呢？

 

Ps.假設我成功左又會唔會變得太完美令女人望而卻步呢😂thx －P

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#4 You NEVER approach those girls again. You paint a picture of awesome life via social media and let them approach you.

 

Successes/fame/money/achievements only AMPLIFIES who you really are.

 

If you’re a dick inside, you will be a dick when you succeed.

 

If you are a kind-hearted person with good intention, you will still be that person.

 

Again, don’t use your external shit to attract women. You never want women who only love your ACHIEVEMENTS but NOT loving who you truly are.

 

Use your behaviours and character to attract the right kind of women to you.