⚔️Strength. Courage. Action. 力量. 勇氣. 行動.🥊 We become the MAN she wants to f💰ck and love by penetrating our Big 3.🥇 🔥 ManTheFvckUp 的使命🔥 = 建立100,000名男士組成的勇士軍隊，打拼出人生3大範疇，成為女人想🔞又想愛的男人！
Brother, do you define yourself as an introverted person? Or worse still, do you always say you are too 怕醜 to meet women?
If you do, I have a good news and bad news for you:
Good news = Introverted is okay, women don’t just want extraverted guys
Bad news = You need to get rid of your shyness
#1 What’s the difference?
Introverted = A person mostly concerned with his own thoughts/feelings, instead of external things. They gain energy by spending time with themselves.
Shy = Being reserved, nervous, 細膽 in the presence of other people
So shyness is the lack of comfort with other people -> weakness
But introversion is just a preference of how you spend time-> NOT weakness, it’s a strength in many writers/producers/leaders
#2 So how do you be more extroverted & outgoing when you feel nervous?
Simple exercise to develop extroverted muscle: When you leave your house and walk, do a mental note of the things you see.
E.g. How many 7-11/OK can you find along the way? Taxi? Suited up?
When you do this, you’re forcing yourself to look outside yourself and thus training your brain to think in a more extroverted way.
#3 Advanced Exercise: When you speak, incorporate the phrase “I love/Iike …… + [observation based on 5 senses]
e.g. the music in this bar … + [reason] e.g. because Maroon 5 is really my favorite band!”
It sounds silly, but the point is this forces you to get out of your head to find sth in the environment! (+ being positive, talk about things you enjoy)
Try this everyday for 1 week and see how more extroverted you become!
Reason #1 Rejection feels so bad because it PHYSICALLY HURTS.
MRI study: The part of your brain that lights up when a man gets rejected = same part of the brain that lights up when he experiences physical pain.
So rejection = being punched/stabbed, your body tells you it HURTS.
Reason #2 Our brains are wired this way because of evolution
Back in caveman days, if a man gets rejected by social circle = he is alone to defend against wild animals = unlikely to survive
So evolution makes us FEEL the rejection pain so that we change our behavior and remain in the tribe to stay alive.
Reason #3 We tend to imagine that everyone notices our rejection/ppl are watching, thus exaggerates the painful experience.
In reality, most ppl are just stuck in their own thinking, and that’s why no one actually pays attention to what you do.
Solution #1: Stop all self-criticism
Stop saying “she doesn’t like me/ damn I said sth wrong/ I am not good enough.”
=> Instead, reframe this as “Haha, she likes me and that’s why she gives me shit tests.” Have this “she likes me”frame 100% time.
Solution #2 Write down the Top 10 Qualities every day
– Reinforce and speak out aloud everyday why you are WORTH IT to build your self-esteem.
Solution #3: Proactive Socializing
– Always be meeting new people, new women. Don’t be passive and let your frds find you. Be proactive weekly so that you always find people who accepts and loves you.
===> Best is Not to just talk, but to engage them with fun GROUP activities.
===> Alos, deadair only means TENSION is increasing, use it as a tool for great vibes/atmosphere.
3 點建立召喚力去帶領呢班同學去投入hall life？
===> Lead by example. Be social yourself first and invite people to join you, and show people that they can have a great fun life if they follow what you do.
===> Also understand that NOT everyone will want to have a fun social life in halls.
===> Figure out the MOTIVATION of why they join hall life, have a 1-2-1 chat to see what they NEED or want.
4 另外，如果比宿舍學生開玩笑，而踏到底線時，應該點作出回應？
===> Tell them in PRIVATE that certain things are NOT COOL.
Don’t confront them in public to help “save their face”.
屌，我前幾日陪你唔夠？你真係無野做？夜晚仲喺張床度喊，你咪喊囉，自我中心到咁嘅人就係咁，you are the goodest.
所以呢幾日我都同佢冇講嘢，同埋一眼都唔望佢唔 show佢，Man神，我以後都唔想同佢講嘢、來往，
佢再嚟料我真係直頭會當自己無咗吖媽，同一個性格衰到咁撚樣嘅人一齊我好辛苦…… 唔知你有冇類似經歷？
Thx for reading my email. – M
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There’s so much happening in this situation and I can totally how much PAIN you are going through as a teenager or young adult.
I can absolutely relate to you because I have experienced similar feeling when you feel like your parents/loved ones are bring you down, spreading negativity and they DON’T understand you.
Here’s what I want to share and what I learn over the years.
#1 If we truly don’t care about someone, we would naturally be apathetic about their behaviors.
The reason you, me or others feel PISSED, ANGRY, ANNOYED by our caretakers’ behaviors is because deep down we still love them…
we still care about them and that’s why we feel so FRUSTRATED when they behave in a way that we don’t like, and when we know that they can DO MUCH BETTER than they could at that moment.
So M, I believe you still care about your mother, otherwise you wouldn’t have accomplished her.
It’s just that her behaviors are negatively bringing you down and you’re struggling to balance loving her and loving yourself.
#2 I don’t know why your mum is always bitching, moaning, whining about life, and it is SAD that she isn’t taking responsibility with her EMOTIONS and SITUATIONS and woman up to grow to become a better, stronger, more capable her.
Maybe she has tried, but it’s still not enough.
However, despite she needs to woman up and become a leader of her life, she is screaming her shit because she ALSO is in DEEP PAIN.
She is crying for help and she needs someone she trusts to help her, and that’s why she naturally wants her husband and son to listen to her and understand her, although she isn’t aware that constant BMW is NOT how you solve your shit problems.
#3 As a mature grown up human being, we all need to understand one truth:
Before we seek to be understood, we need to first understand.
So many people are desperate to be understood by others, which is natural, that they forget to FIRST UNDERSTAND OTHERS.
Most people are so NEEDY that they need others to validate/accept themselves that they forget to validate/accept/love themselves first.
Thus, if you want to learn how to influence others, first try to understand them without judgement BEFORE you try to make them understand you.
#4 The very sad truth is that sometimes those who love us the most are those who fuck us up the most, even when they have good intentions for us.
To grow up from a boy to a man, it’s in our human psyche that we NEED to go through an initiation stage,
where we CUT the TIES with our primary caretakers, be taken away by the elderly figures and be CHALLENGED in the tough world, AND THEN come back with a new identity as a transformed man.
Especially if you want to take care of your family,
you MUST first leave your home/parents ASAP, build a life/kingdom for yourself, before you can give back to them in greater/bigger/better way.
Thus if you want to grow faster to become a man, you must find a way to LEAVE HOME as your #1 priority, learn to build a life for yourself, before you can support your caretakers.
So you might consider LOVING your loved ones from a distance for a while,
to protect your mindset/environment when you’re in a vulnerable stage of growing and building your life,
and THEN contribute back and spending more time with them when you’re successful.
I know this message is controversial,
I know this pill is tough to swallow for many parents,
I know it’s easy to judge this behavior as 不孝 to many traditional families,
But this is CRUCIAL step for boys to grow up as men,
that’s been a LONG ritual 成人禮 that has been forgotten by modern society.
Read Robert Bly <Iron John／鐵約翰> for more reference，
#1 Your current belief system = A value of a person is determined by your income.
You think 『賺得多錢先至代表你有價值』, therefore you are INSECURE that your girl is richer/more successful/social than you.
You are trying to COMPETE with her.
This is a common problem especially for dudes from the PUA cold approach game world.
Because your values system, what you stand for in life, what’s your purpose, your ideals, what meaning in life is NEVER determined.
You just try to cover things up with PUA tricks, lines, routines.
Right now, you are trying to earn more money/learn game to FEED YOUR EGO. -> i.e. your EGO that needs women/others to like you in order for you to feel worthy and good enough. E.g. show pics to your guy friends how hot your gfs are so that you feel like “I am the man”
In short, you feel 自卑 because you are NOT born in a rich, successful, socialable family.
That’s why you don’t feel VALUABLE as a human being in society’s value system.
That’s why you feel SHAMEFUL about your background and personal history.
Here’s what I invite you to do:
Instead of buying into this society’s value that you need to be rich, successful, famous, sociable in order to be WORTHY,
OR the PUA’s value that you must fuck hundreds of girls and have thousands of 女兵 in order to prove that you are successful with women… which is only a small % of the world population,
think and determine YOUR OWN VALUES SYSTEM!
Do you know why you feel TORN right now?
It’s because you’re trying to FIT IN into society’s values 高富帥 or PUA’s values 食女無數.
You are shirking your worldview into what is desirable in the context of nightclub or the general media propaganda of 有女有樓有車有家庭。
You are trying to give up your own values to get pussy, to get success, to get recognized.
Thus, if people value money/pussy MORE THAN being a good person, of course you are always losing their game.
***So think about YOUR OWN VALUES SYSTEM.***
Values are relative, be careful of what values system you’re adopting.
E.g. In nightclubs, hot girls always have higher value than rich men!
So think deeply what values you stand for, what’s important to you in life and what’s the MEANING of your life is.
=> Having a Passion
Life Purpose will give you MEANING in life, it GROUNDS you so that you don’t feel lost.
Until you have your own values system and life purpose, you will always feel insecure/inferior about yourself and you don’t feel worthy/good enough for certain girls.
