分類: 成功

We know that being vulnerable requires emotional courage, because letting ppl come close and see your flawed imperfect self is scary and can hurt you if you choose a wrong person to do so.

How do we protect ourselves while doing that?

#1 First thing to remember: We don’t NEED everyone to see the deepest, realest part of you.

Not everyone DESERVES to see that deep truth, and not everyone is INTERESTED to explore you.

So while we are being real, we give people freedom to go as deep as they want and freedom to stop at certain level.  

When you come from a place of total self-acceptance and self-love, we WON”T need others to validate us that“Oh, you really are flawed but I accept you”.

#2 You have to be choosy as who you slowly allow to enter your heart.

From your interactions with them, you need to see if they are a trustworthy, non-judgemental, patient, compassionate, kind-hearted person who has your best interest at their heart.

If they are supportive to your growth with open heart, then these people has earned their right to receive your invitation to go deep.

If they shame you for being/doing certain things, they are NOT safe people to open up.

#3 This applies to every kind of relationship – bf/gf, friendships, or you seek help from therapist or personal coaching.

The purpose of these “vulnerability sessions” is to help you heal from your emotional wounds in the past,

to let go of the toxic shame that controls you, and to reintegrate your disowned selves back to your personality.

So if you need help to open up, if you are scared about certain fears but you don’t know why,

if you have difficulties connecting with women, you are welcome to send an email to support@manthefvck.com to book a coaching session with me,

OR join our community MTFU Insider to learn and grow together as an integrated healthy male so that you become more attractive, powerful and confident human being.

It is safe, loving, compassionate evn where you will receive support in your journey.

I was recently having lunch with an old friend who is very successful in society’s standard – very wealthy, make multiple millions, have a great pretty gf, can travel anywhere anytime he wants –

and we stumbled upon the discussion on how to know whether our goals are SOMETHING WE REALLY WANT instead of what people want for us?

Take a second to think about this:  Is your goal right now something YOU want, OR society/marketing forces tells you to want it?

Your next car? Your next house? Your job? Your girlfriend? Your possessions? Your places to go because you heard it can take nice pics for your IG?

Then, we discussed the 1 Q we can ask ourselves to distinguish the REAL thing and the FAKE thing, and that is…

“If no one in the world knows what you do/ what you have, OR if you cannot show off what you do/what you have to the world, would you still continue doing it?”

Boom, can you see how liberating this Q is?

E.g. If you can’t show off that Red Ferrari or green Lamborghini to the world, would you still try to own it?

If you can’t show off this HOT SEXY MODEL to the world, would you still choose to attract her, keep her as a girlfriend OR like hanging around with her?

If you can’t tell your parents/relatives that you are a doctor, lawyer, judge, government top official, investment banker, would you still LOVE DOING THIS JOB?

If no one in the world sees that you can sing/dance/act, would you still join the entertainment industry and try to be famous?

I want you to ponder on this Q today and reflect on what you have been trying to do/ get/ be…

…it will LIBERATES you from all the social bullshit and toxic ideas as to what you really want to DO/HAVE/EXPERIENCE in your life 🙂

Hey bro, I have a quick cold hard truth I must tell you.

 

For the past 2 years, I have been receiving a TON of emails and questions from my coaching clients and I have realized one TRUTH…

 

And that is: If you ask me questions about ONE particular girl, you are already fucked.

 

Why? It’s because when you describe to me a situation about “that one specific girl”,

 

it already implies that this girl is killing your abundance mindset and that is exactly WHY you becoming more & more unattractive in the situation.

 

When you ask a specific Q about ONE specific girl, you think that YOUR situation is so different, so special, so unique from anything else.

 

But the truth is: Female Psychology operates very similarly,

 

the most paradoxical truth about women is that ONLY if you don’t focus on/care too much about ONE particular girl CAN YOU get the most amount of girls…

 

Does that mean there’s nothing you can do to change a situation? Of course not, there are of course ways to salvage your messed up shit as best as you can.

 

But understand you are coming from a weak frame, and most things you do are just Damage Control/ 修補損傷/ 损害控制/ 意思就是采取措施将造成的损害降到最低.

 

Your effort spend saving from a fucked up situation is better spent on getting a new girl.

 

This is deep shit, most guys won’t understand what I mean.

 

But if you kind of get what I mean, congrats and maybe you should join us in MTFU Insider where we’ll explore more deep advanced strategies that I don’t talk about in YT.

 

If you are interested, send an email to support@manthefvckup.com and let us know.  

Yo brother, what is your favorite “opener”? What pickup lines do you find most effective?

 

If you are now researching for the best opener, OR do have a best opener, I guarantee you aren’t being the most attractive version of yourself.

 

Why? Because the best way to “open” a girl is NOT about “opener”;

 

And if you look for openers, you are focusing on the wrong thing.

 

What should be focus on? Great question, we should focus on getting her ATTENTION.

 

When you want to approach a girl, DON”T think how should I open this girl.

Instead, think “how can I get her attention?”

 

E.g. You want to stop a “moving girl”?

 

-> Tap her shoulder/grab her arm/step in front of her to GET HER ATTENTION

 

E.g. How to open girls in“mixed set”?

 

-> Tap her shoulder & get her attention, OR be polite to blend in with her friends first to indirectly get her attention UNLESS they don’t want to

 

Can you see how you are over-complicating the 開場白 thing when you focus too much on the WORDS YOU SAY, and forget the real purpose of getting her ATTENTION in the first 5-10 seconds?

 

So stop asking for the right openers, start getting HER ATTENTION in whatever creative ways you can and go from there!

I still remember many years ago, I started learning dating advice because I experienced a very bad breakup with a girl I “fell in love”with via long d r/p.

It took me nearly 2 years to recover, how I behaved was so stupid and wrong, but that pain motivated me to start learning the TRUTH about women, sex, dating and relationships.

 

So looking back, if someone asked me what weapons do I find most powerful to attract women, I think there are 3 valuable lessons every man must learn.

 

#1 Enjoying yourself and having FUN is so fucking crucial to attracting women.

 

“Fun”is the most undervalued weapon to get girls. No matter what game you play (daygame, night game, social circle game, text game, online dating), if you are NOT having FUN when you meet women,

 

it is very EASY to burn out yourself in your journey to improve your sex life.

 

So you have to find the FUN when you interact with girls in whatever place you meet them. If you don’t enjoy it, it’s hard to get good or be truly attractive.

 

#2 Becoming attractive is NOT “fake it till you make it”, it is about expanding your personality, owning your imperfect self and courageously expressing every good/bad, angel/demon, socially-acceptable/taboo of you with no filter.  

 

Because the truth is that the most attractive version of ourselves/ our True Self is when we were a baby, when we were NOT imposed so many social/cultural rules on us that limit our natural expression.

 

Our True Self is always curious, calm, confident, courageous, playful, present, expressive.

 

Becoming attractive is NOT about adding new layers, it’s about stripping off all the bullshit fake selves we now hold and let our True Self shine!

 

#3 Game is NOT about what you do, it is about how you react to what you and she do!

 

If you focus on what to do, you will always worry about “whether you are doing it right or wrong”, which guarantees you never take action and waste time.

 

However, if you focus on“how I react to whatever happens”,  you can literally can do/say whatever to women because you have the CONFIDENCE & SELF-BELIEF that “No matter what happens, I can handle it”.

 

This is a fucking powerful paradigm shift on how you view game!

 

Stop worrying about not doing it right in the first step, focus on how to playfully/nonchalantly REACT to whatever things she says/does to you!

 

If you get this, your game is going to be at least 10x more effective 🙂

Hey brother, do you think you are a 正直有道德嘅好人? If yes, do you find yourself compelled to say yes and always help others (guys/girls) when they ask?

 

If yes, you have a nice guy disease because you don’t know how to set boundaries and say no.

 

#1 Whether it’s people asking you to help them because they know you are free in the weekend…

 

OR people seeking your advice because they know you are good at sth…

 

OR a girl wanting sex now but you just don’t feel like fucking her…

 

If you don’t learn to say no when you don’t want to do sth, if you don’t set boundaries for yourself, you will end up being torn apart by life, making everyone happy, but end up making yourself the most miserable people in life.

 

#2 Maybe you say, “But I am worried that if I say no, they won’t like me!”

 

Well, one, we can’t control ppl’s reactions or thoughts,  and it’s everyone’s responsibility to take ownership of their emotions…

Second, if saying no once or twice ruins the r/p, maybe such r/p isn’t strong/important enough.

 

So understand: people who are meant to be in your life will stay, those who aren’t won’t.  

 

If you don’t set boundaries for yourself, you are a weak spineless beta bitch who will NEVER be respected/desired/loved.

 

#3 So stop saying yes to social activities that  you don’t want to go.

Stop staying in a bad first date when you don’t like the girl in front of you.

Stop fucking fat ugly chicks you don’t genuinely like or find sexually desirable.

 

If things are not a fuck yes, then it is a hell no. And you better utilize your most valuable asset i.e. time/attention on doing things that you genuinely love!

 

Further Resource: <When I Say No, I Feel Guilty>, to be touched in MTFU Insider

Before you attract any women in your life, you need to have a good foundation as an attractive male.

 

Women are like icing on a cake, she can’t be your focus on your life, thus you need to have 3 CORE PIECES before you can bring her in.

 

3 Ways to be an attractive male while single:

 

#1 Spend time with friends that UPLIFT you, not pulling you down.

 

GOOD friends are those help you EXPAND your true self and potential, encourage your growth, even if they don’t have the same belief systems.

 

BAD friends are those who keep doing things that KEEP YOU SMALL, you feel collapsed and judged, and they discourage you from pursuing your path.

 

So make it a priority to hang out with these inspiring friends every month. Bros are best because there’s no sexual interest between you all.

 

#2 Meet Your Emotional Needs First

 

If you want to get a girl because you are unhappy, incomplete, boring, lonely, you are going to FVCK UP both of you. Shit life + shit life = shittiest life

 

Just like parents should put oxygen masks on themselves before helping their kids, you should save yourself before you attempt save the world/women.

 

So you must have fun, enjoy your life, take care of yourself and make yourself happy & fulfilling first IF you want a healthy relationship with women!

 

#3 Heal Your Emotional Wounds From Childhood

 

We all have emotional wounds from our childhood. If you don’t go back to explore these unconcious patterns, they are going to fvck up your next r/p because intimacy triggers our emotions the most.

 

So if you have r/p problems with your parents e.g. hatred, enmeshment (neediness with them), parents suffocating you…etc.

the family issues WILL pass on to the next generation with your woman!

 

Explore these with your trusted coach, therapist or men’s’ group where you are in a safe environment to discuss these deep personal issues.

Women are sex objects, men are success objects, that’s what the society deems as valuable in a human being.  

 

So if you are a successful wealthy man, how do you know if she likes you or your external materials?

 

#1 Stop your inclination to PROVIDE for her

 

I understand, we as men feel a natural need to 照顧女人, but if you use such tool to ATTRACT women or to prove your self-worth to her, you are gonna attract GOLD DIGGERS.

 

Alpha male is a state of mind, you don’t fvcking need to buy her cars, pay her rent, pay her tuition in order to attract her.

 

If you do that, that’s a beta male strategy just like those in power abuse their power e.g. 經理人公司搞女模

You’ll never attract those who geneinuely likes you.

 

#2 When you date, don’t spend extravagantly!

 

If you flash money for dates, you are just setting an expectation that YOU are gonna pay for every shit the girl wants.  

 

Those who show off wealth to get girls only means they have NOTHING ELSE that worth a girl’s attention.

 

Instead, focus on having FUN in casual environments. If she doesn’t want to go, she isn’t interested in you yet.

 

#3 When bill comes, does she expects you to pay in full every time?

 

If she goes to toilet everytime bill arrives OR if she doesn’t at least willing to offer to pay for the date, be careful!

 

#4 Observe how she presents herself.

 

Is wearing luxury brands important to her?

Does she possess materials that tries to impress other people?

Does she base her self-worth on stuff she owns OR her character & personality traits?

Be careful for girls who only love luxuries.

 

=> Of course money/power give you more access to high quality women,

 

but when you meet them, you must be vigilant about whether they are attracted to YOU as a person, or YOUR STUFF that helps her show off to others.

I get it, you are TOO BUSY to have a girlfriend OR you think intimacy & relationships are obstacles that affect your money-making goals.

 

But if you are an ambitious entrepreneur, a high level CEO, a badass business titan who dominate the industry, you shouldn’t not understand the power of investing in a relationship.

 

I know, we don’t NEED a woman to be happy while we build our wealth, but do you know why being open to bringing women in actually HELPS your career?

 

Reason #1 Masculine man NEEDS to cultivate their feminine energy to be an integrated powerful human being, one way is to deeply connect with women.

 

Feminine energy RECHARGES us, so a quality woman who is not only sexy but also intelligent + kind-hearted can definitely make you feel less stressful and alive again!

 

#2 Successful men need support at the background

 

I know you want t don’t want to seem needy; but in my own experience & what I see in many successful friends, a quality partner can support us in multiple ways (mentally, emotionally, sexually) that helps us grow our business.

 

Wrong r/p waste your time, but right relationships MULTIPLIES the results you can get.

 

#3 I know you want to feel important in the world, but do you know the longest study in human history by Harvard concludes that it is the QUALITY of relationships that make us most happy and live longest?

 

I have multiple successful private coaching clients who are industry leaders, they seem strong Alphas from the outside, but do you know what they secretly fear and want?

 

They want women who can can understand them, listen to their fears when they share themselves vulnerably in a world of sharks, and feel loved as who they are.

 

Q is: Do you want that Mr. Millionaire? Mr. Future Billionaire?

Hey bro, do you rmb when we were younger, we were thinking about having our first kiss with a girl you secretly liked for a long time, and that day finally came when you got her out, she surprisingly responded positively, and you two kissed, and you felt like the happiest man in your life?

 

OR when you grew up, you had skills and had no problem getting girls, you could kiss or even close a girl the same night, BUT after sex, you felt that everything is TOO FAST and you felt that you’re missing out sth special?

 

#1 Why is that? It’s because our bodies have 2 typs of pleasure systems.

 

Anticipatory PS 期待性= you imagine yourself having sth you want (sex, money, travelling, group of frds, good food).

 

ANTICIPATION makes us excited about life for a long time. That’s why it’s good to set daily/monthly/yearly goals.

 

Consummatory PS 消耗性= you GET what you want. Dopamine hits quickly, but it’s shorter and that high passes quickly.

 

#2 The same applies to sex, love and relationships.

 

If you want emotional fulfillment, long term happiness and avoid having BAD relationships, then you shouldn’t have rush sex, rush love, rush relationships.

 

#3 Am I saying you shouldn’t have SEX with a girl ASAP?

 

No. You should definitely NOT wait for 10 dates before you sleep with her because too much familiarity/comfort  is what kills sexual tension. (i.e. FZ)

 

But maybe you should find a sweet spot (i.e. 3-5 meetup times), having enough mysteriousness but also enough comfort before you sleep with her.

And if consider a LTR, maybe you should give yourself 4-6 months to OBSERVE & ANALYZE this woman’s behaviors apart from her words/sexy side to decide if she is a good candidate to develop deeper relationships with apart from sex.

 

Balancing this is an art. So have FUN experiencing the pleasures in both short and long term and you’ll know what you really want.