分類: 兩性智慧

巴打，你有冇曾經投訴過，『話男人條命好艱難，做女人就好喇，夠索就大部人追，社會就比晒所有著數佢哋』，係覺得世界好唔公平呢？

又或者你有冇聽過某啲人講話：『唉，做人使乜咁辛苦姐？如果呢個世界無人再爭奪名成利就，如果人類唔係咁貪心咁功利主義嘅話，咁每個人咪都可以輕鬆啲，開心啲，搵到自己嘅伴侶同佢簡單生活落去囉！』

Well 巴打，呢啲聽落好似好『伸張正義／公平公正』嘅思維，好多時都係一啲否定自己動物性一面嘅偽君子，好多時都係一啲喺現實遊戲之中成功唔到嘅人會講嘅嘢。

事實係：男人同女人天生就係兩種生物，以雙重標準唔同嘅方式去看待男人同女人先至喺一種現實嘅需要；你唔接受現實嘅話，你就會喺被現實拒絕淘汰。

譬如話：一個太過注重賺錢嘅事業女強人，就係一個喺職場上硬班班同其他男人對弈爭鬥嘅人。

長時間喺咁嘅環境下打拼嘅話，佢就會忘記咗自己feminine女性溫柔嘅自己，唔識得點樣喺屋企床上去please男人，唔識得點樣做返一個小女人。

最後佢就會成為一個事業上表面好成功，但仍然得唔到自己渴望嘅愛情，因為dry爆而之後怨一啲同樣強勁嘅男人淨係『鍾意一啲後生嘅靚妹』，話男人唔夠成熟唔夠man，唔肯去take care已經40幾歲嘅自己。

掉返轉：一啲無咩女人選擇嘅Beta男，就會選擇以暖男嘅好男人方式去突出自己，選擇以一種服從嘅心態去照顧女人，去滿足女人口中所講嘅『好老公』條件。

但係當自己付出咗咁多之後，發現女人竟然喺鍾意『對佢差嘅仆街Alpha』之後，就開始投訴話『女人都係賤格，有好唔要，係都要痴實啲賤男』，並且繼續羞辱一啲長期溝女食女成功嘅男人。

重點係：我想巴打你睇得到，無論係男人定女人，社會都會有一系列嘅雙重標準去看待你。

男人就係成功嘅指標，能幹成功有權威就會受到尊重。女人就係性愛嘅指標，夠索夠靚夠性感就會得到社會嘅認同同獎賞。

食得多女嘅男人就會食得越嚟越多女，屌得多仔嘅女人就會被標籤成污糟嘅公廁。

男model就係gay佬核突，女model就係時尚嘅指標。

男毒撚就係無大志，女毒撚就係好cute中意動漫嘅好女仔。

以上雖然都係一啲充滿成見可以喺真可以喺假嘅stereotypes，但係如果你想係現實之中得到你想要嘅女人／成就／lifestyle等等，你要做嘅就絕對唔係去嘗試打破『世人嘅雙重標準』，去改變遊戲規則；

你要做嘅，喺知道遊戲點玩，知道社會嘅潛規則，之後position自己喺最佳嘅位置去攞到你想要嘅嘢。

咁所以等我問你一條好簡單嘅問題：

如果你知道女人就係一啲唔介意『收beta暖男兵』嘅生物嘅話，你又會點樣position自己去令佢定義你為一個『有好多選擇，我必須贏得佢芳心，爭佢返嚟據為己有嘅Alpha型男』呢？

巴打請你思考下並且喺下面留言比我啦。

如果你鍾意今集嘅話，就Like呢段片同訂閱我地MTFU嘅channel，令你唔再miss左下一集。我哋下集再見！

Welcome to <A Billion Wicked Thoughts/十億個邪惡的念頭> Ep.8，上集我哋講咗男人女人嘅性慾機制有咩唔同，今集就會解釋點解女人身體上同心理上嘅性慾喺分開，點解兩者有唔同激活性慾嘅途徑。

如果巴打鍾意咁嘅題材嘅話，就請你而家率先Like咗呢段片同訂閱我地MTFU嘅channel喇！

重點＃1 喺好多醫學處理性功能障礙嘅個案裏面，『女人性慾低』喺最常見嘅個案。

女人喺比男人較少主動地去尋找高潮，女人做愛會比起男人較多因為『性快感以外嘅原因』而去做愛，而當有感情問題時，女人嘅性慾通常都會較低。點解女人身體上同心理上嘅性慾存有咁大差異呢？

作者解釋，係因為每次女人考慮要同某男人搞嘢，女人可能有一系列潛意識嘅軟件，需要作比較長遠嘅考慮。

性愛可能會導致一啲生命上嘅重大改變，比如話懷孕，照顧bb同埋超過十幾年嘅養育；全部都需要極大時間，資源同能量，所以女人會比起男人較為小心去選擇性伴侶，去評估潛在嘅風險，避免佢將來嘅小朋友有艱難嘅成長環境。

（NOTE：巴打你要注意，呢度只係講緊長遠地嘅考慮。從我自己同眾多巴打案例嚟講，越喺年輕貌美／越喺搵到錢嘅女人，佢哋越喺唔會理會咁『遙遠湊仔』嘅嘢，佢哋越喺想搵一啲短暫好玩夠fun嘅型男。

所以你溝女時，唔好以為自己夠收入穩定，夠有照顧能力就代表條女對你有真實嘅性慾望；因為如果你缺乏其他特質嘅話，女人就只會當你喺一個Beta嘅撳錢provider，而唔係一個佢真心想屌嘅Alpha lover！）

番返嚟本書，點解長遠地女人喺會挑剔啲呢？

重點＃2 作者比喻女人挑選男人嘅機制，就好似解謎嘅偵探一樣，需要非常仔細／挑剔地睇勁多因素同證據，去將你一步一步拆解（記唔記得我講過話要維持自己神秘感嘅原因呢？）

呢個『揀仔嘅偵探系統』有四樣：情感上嘅偵探，社交上嘅偵探，文化上嘅偵探，同物理上嘅偵探。

所謂嘅『身體物理上嘅偵探』，就係評估緊佢自己嘅營養／健康程度，佢嘅壓力，佢嘅安全程度，佢係咪無嘢食無屋住等等嘅保障。

因為當呢啲基本『衣食住+安全』嘅需要喺有危機嘅話，女人嘅性慾通常都會減低。

重點＃3 情感上嘅偵探方面，就係講緊女人會評估男人對自己嘅真實感受，去評估佢嘅『性格同心』，睇下佢係咩人，譬如誠實？真誠？細心？忠誠？慷慨？錫屋企人？

而女人亦會評估自己嘅感受，譬如：我感唔感覺得到被欣賞仰慕呢？我感唔感覺得到被吸引你？我係咪緊張呢？怕醜呢？內疚呢？

（注：講多次，呢啲特質好多時係講緊長遠嘅考慮因素，未必反映女人短期嘅慾望）

另外關於情感上嘅偵探，就係研究顯示女人係會較常沉迷喺一啲情感上嘅情況，容易諗起某啲激烈嘅回憶，記得多啲故事嘅細節同敘述，比男人更加情感豐富地表達自己，但同時擁有較強嘅能力去控制自己面部同身體表達情緒嘅能力。

除咗透過自己嘅調查之外，女人會透過第三方去驗證一個男人，包括佢嘅名氣同社會地位，亦都會睇下有無其他女人同時鐘意呢個男人等等。

重點＃4 至於社交上嘅偵探方面，就係講緊女人鍾意透過自己嘅社交網絡，去收集其他女人嘅意見，睇下特定潛在伴侶嘅評估，或者尋求關於愛情／性愛嘅意見。

作者解釋，女人天生有咁樣嘅社交軟件，就係點解女人通常比男人更加鍾意講嘢，表達能力發展得更早更好，更加享受傾計嘅時間，更加容易精通語言嘅能力。

除咗同其他人溝通之外，女人亦都會更加留意社交場合上嘅潛規則，特例，某微型社會嘅整體態度等等。

重點＃5 最後文化上嘅偵探，就係講緊女人比起男人對文化上嘅影響更加敏感。

根據另一名社會心理學嘅Roy Baumeister所講：『女人嘅性慾喺比起男人更加浮動，女人會較依賴社會嘅框架同文化條件，去為感情做決定。』

所以女人就會諗：有咩行為或者感情喺被社會歌頌，又有咩喺被社會唾駡呢？我應該以咩價值觀去看待性愛與感情呢？

女人亦會對雜誌電視劇嘅間接訊息敏感，會有更大社會壓力去按照特定方式表現自己／著衫／或者以特定形象示人，會較容易屈服喺群眾壓力之中，會較重視自己點樣被人以社會嘅道德良知去批判自己。

簡單講：呢一系列嘅文化資訊，都會令女人比較play it safe，比較安全穩陣地做人。

點解呢？因為原來歷史上以嚟，女人生育嘅機率喺比起男人多一倍！根據DNA嘅檢測，人類歷史裡面有80%嘅女人都生育過，但只有40%嘅男人傳宗接代。

換句話來講：有少數男人以前都係擁有幾條女，但係大部份嘅男人都係無任何嘅後代！（NOTE：睇唔睇到Alpha同Beta嘅現實呢？）

咁所以Roy Baumeister同我哋講：『如果男人跟住羊群play it safe人云亦云嘅話，你就基本上無仔送終！歷史上大部分嘅男人都係無後代，咁所以男人喺必須take risks冒險啲，喺未知數之中闖蕩，因為我哋都係曾經冒過險嘅男人嘅後代！』

但係掉返轉，從生物生殖學嚟講，女人冒險喺愚蠢嘅事。

女人最好做嘅嘢就係人云亦云，做人nice少少，安全啲穩定啲，因為好大機會都會有男人嚟同佢生仔，而需要做嘅，就係篩選出最好嘅offer，所以女人喺會留意身邊嘅社交環境，留意CONTEXT！

Conclusion：除咗你外表上嘅吸引力之外，女人都會受到一系列嘅情感／社會／文化因素影響佢『應唔應該同你上床』。

就算條女嘅身體上對你有性慾，佢都需要一系列嘅條件先會令到自己心理上有性慾。

簡單講，女人『偵探頭腦』嘅軟件，喺用嚟為佢喺多變嘅環境下，令佢可以有成功嘅長遠投資，令到佢可以喺進化論上成功傳宗接代。

Anyway巴打，呢兩集我哋非常詳細地了解咗女人嘅性慾之後，究竟女人會鍾意Alpha呢？我哋又可以做啲咩，挑起女人嘅心理性慾呢？我哋就留返下集講喇！

如果巴打你鍾意今集嘅話，就Like呢段片同訂閱我地MTFU嘅channel喇；有咩問題，就下面留言比我知啦，下集見！

巴打，你曾經天真地相信過幾多個女人會『兌現佢應承你嘅承諾』，之後某一日失望地發現佢竟然『反口』，跟住解釋話『你誤會咗／曲街咗佢當日嘅意思』呢？

自古以黎，人類歷史之中，幾乎所有當權者都係男性，而女人好少有機會攞到『表面嘅權力』，女人好多時喺古代都只係一啲可以『販賣嘅商品』。

所以喺咁樣嘅現實下，女人就必須暗地裡發展出一套『隱藏式嘅心理武器』，令佢哋隱蔽地攞到權力，透過一系列睇唔到嘅性誘惑／心理操控，去攞到自己想要嘅嘢。

咁所以男人嘅預設溝通模式，就係坦蕩蕩地『講自己真實諗法』，就係會『講得出做得到』，就係會『講口齒』『講義氣』『講滴血為盟』，會用理性邏輯直接地解決問題；

我哋嘅說話就喺鐵證，而男人會鄙視一啲『兩頭蛇／改變立場』嘅人，覺得佢哋唔可信，覺得佢哋『偽君子／真小人』。

簡單講：男人就係以『榮譽／honour』而去活，大部分男人都喺想做一個忠忠直直有情有義被人稱為『大俠』嘅所謂『真男人』。

可惜嘅係：當巴打你毫無警戒心地以自己嘅『榮譽／honour』而自豪期間，好多時你同女人對弈嘅時候，你都會有機會被女人濫用你呢種心理需要，而剝削你嘅利益同埋操控你嘅行為！

因為女人就係知道好多男人都想做『坦蕩蕩嘅郭靖大俠』，所以佢會識得透過自己嘅性誘惑，去影響你點樣運用你表面嘅權力，暗地裡達到自己背後隱藏嘅目的。

譬如話：當你唔肯妥協去幫佢做某啲嘢嘅時候，佢就會話你『個人都唔夠man嘅／太固執，少少嘢都唔肯改』；

或者當你唔肯『因為佢係女人，就自動尊重女人』嘅時候，佢就會話你『乜你咁大男人架！男人應該愛惜女人嫁嘛！』；

又或者『冇錯，雖然條女cheat你，但係都唔代表你要分手架，你肯定自己有問題啦！好嘢，馬明肯繼續保護一個會比自己帶綠帽嘅女人，佢係真男人呀！』

又或者『我鍾意成熟穩重嘅gentleman嫁，我依家個人大咗，已經厭倦players啦，因為始終搵到一個會錫我愛我嘅男人重要啲…』

簡單講：女人操控男人嘅方法，就係當男人唔係做緊有利女人嘅嘢，女人就會透過shaming／羞愧嘅方式，或者話你『真男人就應該做正確嘅嘢／do the right thing』等等嘅批評，

去攻擊你『男人嘅身份』，去嘗試改變你嘅思想行為，迎合自己需要。

亦都即係話：好多女人一邊批評話『真男人去晒邊』，說服男人『要負責任做男人需要做嘅嘢』；

但係另一邊同時就奚落踩低『極度man極度Alpha身邊大把女伴』嘅男人，貶損佢哋嘅名聲，批評佢哋『大男人／唔專一／淫蕩／唔尊重女性』等等。

我知道今集所講嘅嘢比較抽象，需要你去留意社會文化喺點樣困惑緊想MTFU嘅男人，點樣去用特定框架去影響你嘅信念同決定。

你要帶走嘅喺：男人嘅『榮譽／honour』喺好高崇並且值得學習，喺困境嘅時候我哋絕對需要一啲『有情有義，有犧牲小我成全大我精神』嘅男人，去保護我哋珍重嘅嘢。

但係，你要小心自己呢種心理需要，被唔合理嘅當權者／被你有性慾嘅女人去剝削你嘅利益，

去『一邊要求男人man up做領袖，一邊要求女性獨立平等』，慢慢操控你嘅一舉一動！

每次你感覺到女人攻擊你『夠唔夠man／係咪真男人／話男人應該或者唔應該XYZ』嘅時候，你就必須響起警號喇！

有咩問題嘅話，就like呢段片，subscribe落我哋MTFU channel，然後留言話我知啦。

Welcome to <A Billion Wicked Thoughts/十億個邪惡的念頭> Ep.6， 今集我哋會講埋呢本書Ch.3嘅下半部份，承接尋日所講關於『critical period／關鍵期』嘅嘢。

尋日講到：幾乎所有嘅性癖好，都係出現喺男人青春期嘅時期，科學家稱果段黃金時間之為『critical period／關鍵期』。

重點＃1 科學家發現：當雄性綿羊被山羊湊大嘅話，年輕嘅綿羊就會喺『關鍵期』被山羊『性印記／性印隨』(即sexual imprint現象)，將來會淨係想同山羊交配。

相反，雌性綿羊嘅『性印記』喺可以被扭轉，令佢哋將來仍然願意同其他雄性綿羊交配。

呢種『性印記』亦都出現喺斑胸草雀／珍珠鳥身上：

喺出生後頭幾個月至到一年期間會出現sexual imprint，令到雄性珍珠鳥將來會想搵返『似老母個樣』嘅雌性珍珠鳥。

換句話來講：當大腦對特定信號產生自然反應，令到大腦對擁有特定信號嘅對象產生『性印記』，就會產生cued interest嘅現象。

亦姐係話：如果男人嘅大腦直覺地迷戀女人嘅腳部，咁樣迷戀絲襪或者細頭高踭鞋嘅性慾望就會係男人嘅cued interest，因為兩者都係符合男人迷戀女人腳嘅信號。

所以某啲男人就會因應自己嘅成長經歷，青春期時接觸過咩女人，細個被邊類型嘅女人激發自己性慾導致射精等等，出現一系列唔同嘅性癖好，中意女人唔同嘅部位。

重點＃2 點解男人咁鍾意大波有曲線籮友嘅女人呢？

對於生物學家嚟講，過份膨脹嘅女性部位喺被稱之為『ornamentation／裝飾物』；

而呢啲玲瓏浮凸嘅『裝飾物』，其實就係顯示呢個女人將來嘅生育能力，將來仲有幾多年可以健康地湊仔。

咁所以『裝飾物』就係一啲透過女性競爭演化出嚟；隨著男人對女人身體部位嘅興趣，女人就發展出越嚟越大+更加正嘅相應部位，吸引鍾意相應部位嘅男人。

有吸引力嘅雌性『裝飾物』，就係象徵健康／好嘅生育能力／後代有較大生存機率。

男人鍾意得嘅部份(胸／屁股／腳)全部都係被estrogen／雌激素影響，而雌激素喺同女人嘅健康同能量有關，所以男人嘅視覺信號，就係引導緊自己尋找具豐富雌激素嘅女人，去增加後代嘅生存機率。

最後關於『裝飾物』嘅重點，就係雌性『裝飾物』都包含一種女人獨有嘅脂肪，叫做gynoid fat，通常儲存係胸／屁股／大腿附近。

咁所以呢樣嘢就解釋咗，點解有時男人會鍾意肥妹多過厭食症極度瘦削嘅女人！

因為肥妹雖然其他身體部位都肥，但至少佢有夠多嘅gynoid fat；

但相反，太過瘦削嘅女人喺會停止排卵，喺不育同健康差嘅象徵。所以喺演化嘅壓力下，男人會傾向要肥妹多過要太過瘦嘅女人。

呢本書Ch.3嘅總結喺：男人嘅大腦設計，就係對於一系列嘅『視覺信號』(e.g. 絲襪) 產生性慾，然後根據佢之前嘅『性印記』，迷戀女人身體嘅特定部位 (e.g. 長腿)。

就好似BB鵝出世時，會將任何第一樣又大又會郁嘅嘢『印記』為佢嘅母親；男人嘅性慾程式，都會根據佢年輕時周遭嘅環境，而令佢對特定女人部位產生『印記』。

你年輕時嘅性愛經歷喺點，喺會影響你一輩子嘅性興趣，會令我哋將來不斷尋找以往某種嘅『性快感』。

呢個就係點解男人咁難抽離睇AV嘅習慣，因為鹹網喺可以比無限自由你搜尋符合你特定性癖好嘅影片，之後俾你無限skip無限暫停，淨係比你回味令你最high嘅畫面。

當男人嘅性慾被撻着嘅時候，就好難被熄滅，就會需要『馬上出火』嘅急切性。

講到呢度，巴打你又會唔會唔小心聯想起某啲火辣辣嘅畫面，令你突然有種衝動呢？

你唔需要話我知，但喺我哋下星期Ch.4講女人嘅性慾望之前，

祝你你身體健康，唔好咁容易被外界操控你嘅性慾，操控你嘅行為喇！

有咩問題，就Like呢段片，訂閱我地MTFU嘅channel，然後下面留言比我知啦，下集見！

巴打你有冇思考過，有幾多男人因為『唔理解女人呢種生物』／『因為某條女』，而選擇放棄自己嘅夢想，摧毀自己巨大嘅潛能呢？

你自己身邊又目擊過幾多次，『男人將女人放為人生嘅第一位』，為咗所謂『愛／忠誠』，而捨棄咗自己其他想得到嘅事物呢？

呢啲故事聽落好浪漫，好驚心動魄，好似愛得好轟烈；但如果你夠理性嘅話，你會觀察到：

好多男人都係想學最少既game／溝女知識，跟住搵到自己夢想嘅靈魂伴侶，然後永遠放鬆喺一段舒舒服服一夫一妻嘅關係裡面。

好多男人都及不及待地想盡快搵到一條ok嘅囡，然後馬上commit落去條囡到，感覺就好似『唔認真拍拖／結婚就會死』。

或者一對一嘅戀愛或者一夫一妻制本質無錯嘅，但係好多年輕廿幾三十歲嘅男人犯上嘅錯誤：

就係正當自己打拼緊自己夢想嘅時候，正當自己建立自由嘅時候，佢會因為『某條女』嘅關係而好快放棄自己嘅野心／熱愛嗜好／同理想，好快願意commit落monogamy嘅社會系統裡面。

點解我唔建議35歲甚至40歲前嘅男人，咁快要性愛上甚至情感上要commit落一條囡上面？原因有好幾個。

＃1 喺現今社會裡面，你仲係廿幾歲尋找緊自己道路，鋪緊路實現理想期間，你喺無可能有足夠時間同精神去維繫一段monogamous嘅關係。

每次要選擇女人VS夢想嘅時候，九成男人都會大小程度地作出犧牲，無論係犧牲自己嘅錢同時間，犧牲自己擴闊視野嘅機會，犧牲自己去外國進修深造嘅機遇，

定係犧牲自己可以揀一條更合適嘅女嘅機會。

你廿幾歲就因為一段感情而咁快出賣自己potential嘅話，其書就係你對自己整個人生最大嘅出賣。

＃2 男人嘅價值／吸引力喺需要透過時間同effort賺取返黎。

好多年輕嘅男人，根本想像唔到自己去到35－40歲嘅自己可以變得幾有power，變得幾有魅力，變得幾有選擇權。

如果佢有growth mindset嘅話，佢就會喺自己事業上／嗜好上／性格上／能力上／兩性經驗上，多方面地有幾何級嘅增長。

佢會更加明白女人男人各自做嘢嘅動機，佢會更加識得『睇人／揀女人』，亦都會因此更加識得有智慧地選擇『最有質素+對自己身心最有益嘅女人s』。

整體黎講，女人年輕(30歲前)時喺最有say最有選擇，男人起碼要去到三十中甚至四十歲之後先會喺最有power最有吸引力。

你未去到自己高峯期咁快就下定論要同某條女exlcusive地一齊，你根本就係魯莽地做出一個將來會後悔嘅決定，你根本就係缺乏足夠資訊+智慧下去commit落錯嘅關係；

去到你50歲嘅時候你意識到原來自己錯過咗咁多選擇，去到你『中年危機』嘅時候，你又點會無慾望去出軌呢？

＃3 重點喺：女人喺想要一個其他男人會羨慕想成為+其他女人想爭奪去屌嘅男人。

喺你未去到35/40歲之前，大部分男人都未能夠發動自己所有嘅潛能，去取得個人成就或者累積足夠嘅性經驗。

所以如果你醒目嘅話，你就會趁後生盡量唔好被『感情／感情責任』而束縛自己，唔好因為『女人／婚姻／甚至小朋友』而抹煞自己要創造嘅夢想。

去到你40歲左右，當你人生各方面都有一定成就，開始達到『閱女無數』嘅境界，當你已經性愛上已經操練咗20年，你無可能唔成為比起而家有10倍吸引力版本嘅自己。

＃4 所以年輕嘅你，唔好太擔心某條女而家唔show你，唔好太擔心你而家唔似其他人咁『表面好似同條女好開心』咁。

女人永遠都係男人嘅點綴，喺你嘅add on，而唔係主要focus嘅首位。我絕對唔係叫你放棄溝女，亦唔係叫你等到30歲時業有成之後先開始game囡。

我講緊嘅喺：你年輕嘅時候喺無需要考慮『拍拖甚至結婚』任何exclusive形式嘅嘢，因為你喺未有足夠嘅成熟程度去睇清楚兩性對弈嘅真相，同埋你未累積夠實戰經驗。

你要做嘅就係：一方面打拼你嘅夢想，令自己建立越來越多社會權威同力量；

另一方面以non-exclusive casual嘅態度去同女人對弈。見多啲女，date多啲女，同時同多啲女親密先，你先至識得點揀女人。

唔好因為短暫嘅愛火或性愛快感而放棄自己嘅野心，比自己時間成熟同變得有性魅力，你40+歲時可以擁有嘅選擇就會無窮無盡。

如果你明白我今日所講嘅說話，而你又想學習點樣鋪路創造咁樣嘅lifestyle嘅話，就email我哋support@manthefvckup.com 索取關於Insider嘅詳情喇，因為我喺裏面喺會教導各位內部巴打嘅。

Any Qs, LIKE + SUBSCRIBE and then leave a CM below!

我哋點樣先可以知道自己喺控制到一段感情呢？

點解咁多男人『墮入愛河』之後，會變成一隻任勞任怨嘅走狗呢？

如果你要選擇exclusive一對一嘅男女關係，你可以點樣保持自己嘅吸引力呢？

One of my Insider brothers asked me what does a frame／框架 means and how we can apply that in our dating/relationship life.

If you don’t know, Insider is our private VIP brotherhood where I give ALL the necessary training, coaching and personal attention to help bros attain their ideal dating/sex/relationship life while building their empire.

If you’re also interested in that, feel free to send an email to support@manthefvckup.com to ask for Insider details.

While I’ve answered him in detail inside, let’s briefly discuss why men must always control the 框架 and let women walk into in.

#1 What is 框架? 每當兩個人交流時，某個人嘅框架總會係較強，佔主導，而另一人嘅框架喺會被吞噬然後被消滅。

所謂嘅框架 = 心理上潛意識嘅現實，講緊我哋以『邊個人嘅現實』去運作

所以你控制到框架 = 你擁有上拍位 = 你控制到大家之間對弈嘅『架構／骨架』

= 你個人嘅決定／慾望／信念，就會較容易影響對方

= 對方較容易『聽你話』

簡單講，框架本身並唔係力量，但你控制到兩性之間嘅框架就係你間接攞到力量嘅方法。因為邊個擁有框架 = 我哋以男人 OR 女人嘅現實去運行大家嘅關係。

＃2 What influences our frame? 我哋個人嘅成長經歷，社會灌輸比你嘅concepts，個人心理狀態，我哋受到咩教育等等。

咁所以，你每次同女人對弈時，你一係以自己現實運行，你一係以女人嘅現實運行；而框架喺有流動性，邊個擁有框架喺會隨時間或者當時關係流動。

＃3 點解框架咁重要呢？

因為就算條女被你吸引對你有興趣嘅話，如果佢唔係『進入你嘅框架』，你就會好快成為感情之中嘅被動角色，你就會成為一條『聽聽話話嘅老婆奴走狗』，你哋兩個做乜都會以『女人利益』為依歸。

咁所以如果巴打你感覺好似條女lead緊大家關係，條女特登控制性愛嘅yes／no，條女要求你做咗某樣嘢先會肯同你XYZ (e.g. 出街／食飯／陪你／搞嘢）嘅話，你被佢以任何原因friendzone，你接受大家暫時以無性朋友關係相處嘅話，

你就係處於下巴位，以條女嘅frame運作。

掉番轉，你想測試條女係咪真心對你有慾望嘅話，你就一定要佢進入你嘅框架/現實。

因為好多男士嘅預設值，都係將自己有興趣嘅女人『放喺神枱拜／女神化』，所以佢咁樣做就係間接承認條女擁有主導權，

就算條女『真係同佢一齊咗』，佢都唔能夠喺段關係之中有say，現實到自己想要嘅男女關係。

＃4 This is the exact reason why I said that 表面上拍緊拖／結咗婚好似好幸福嘅男人，唔代表佢哋就係擁有健康理想男女關係嘅Alpha。

=> 因為大部份男人都係以女人嘅frame去運作，而佢哋亦都好無awareness地覺得『女人話事呢樣嘢喺好正常』，所以甘願做牛做馬做一個『唔被尊重嘅好奴隸』。

你可以睇得到，現今有勁多男人都係需要問女朋友／老婆『攞permit』，批准佢哋去見朋友／同frd飲嘢／去玩去social／去報告行蹤。

最可恥嘅喺，呢啲男人覺得『女人肯俾自由自己』去做呢啲嘢，就係佢老婆好體貼，搵到筍盤，但佢哋從來都無質疑過呢件事喺唔正常，亦唔健康！

＃5 點解女人其實暗地裡想你嘅框架強過佢，想你凌駕佢嘅現實？

原因喺：當女人唔能夠從一個masculine／雄性陽性男人之中得到支配性嘅框架，條女 就會失去安全感，佢就迫住捨棄佢feminine／雌性陰性女人嘅特質，自己去WTFU去做男人嘅角色，自己比安全感自己。

意思係：女人喺呢段關係之中唔可以放鬆返一個溫柔體貼聽你話嘅小女人，佢就會迫住除咗喺繁忙嘅工作之中『做女強人』之外， 返到屋企都要『做女強人』：

對你呼呼喝喝，命令你做呢樣做果樣，禁止你做某啲嘢，而一系列方式懲罰你等等。

再聰明再成功再獨立嘅女人，喺感情之中其實都唔想做咁樣嘅角色；所以如果你咁廢唔願意step up去話事去支配呢個框架嘅話，你其實並唔係真正『愛你嘅女人』。

點樣去建立框架？其實由你Day 1 見面開始甚至認識佢之前已經可以開始做。

如果巴打你想學得更加深入嘅話，我喺會透過Insider教導各位內部巴打嘅，你有興趣嘅話，就email我哋support@manthefvckup.com 索取詳情喇。

Any Qs, LIKE + SUBSCRIBE and then leave a CM below!

Welcome to <A Billion Wicked Thoughts/十億個邪惡的念頭> Ep.4, where we will explore the CRAZY visual cues that arouses men. We’ll explore the remaining few points of WHAT kind of things men like to see in sex.

#1 Breasts are the most popular body part in sexual searches in every country, and the most popular category exclusive to heterosexual men.

A study in France used a padded bra to test how often men would approach the same researcher with an ABC cup when she was at a bar: A: 18 B: 28 C: 60

Although no mention of D-G cup, normally larger breasts are popular.

However, there are NO nipple-size websites or COLOR of nipples. Those are not influential visual cues in men.

#2 Men from a broad array of cultures prefer small feet on women. There are 276 foot sites on the Alexa list, and only one hand-focused one (Glove Mansion).

Why are men attracted to feet even though women decorate their fingernails with manicure to draw attention? -> Maybe searching for foot erotica are highly correlated with searches for bondage and submission porn. e.g. some men fantasize licking a woman’s feet

#3 Now, the common Q comes: Do women prefer bigger dicks?

Well… the answer from data is: men are more interested in penises than women + men are much more interested in large penises than women !

Academic Survey: 15% of women are dissatisfied with their partner’s penis size. 45% of men are dissatisfied with their own penis size.

Eye tracking study: When men and women looked at non-erotic images, men consistently direct gaze to male crotch, women rarely do so.

In romance novels, it’s rare to detail a man’s penis size. Only in porn does the penis is always under the spotlight.

9% of women wish they had smaller breasts; just 0.2% of men wish they had smaller penises. -> For men, penis can never be too big.

Why men care penis size so much, check out others and show off their own?

-> In apes, penis is a social tool. The erect primate penis is used as a sign of male-male aggression, to mark territory, and as a sexual invitation to females.

#4 One very popular erotic art in the world is Japanese anime porn (“hentai”).

The typical anime female is a high school teenager. Her voice is extremely high-pitched. She frequently wears school uniforms, complete with pleated skirts, vests, and saddle shoes.

She is often sexually inexperienced and reacts with embarrassment at the mention of sex (indicated by reddening cheeks).

Yet, despite all these vivid cues of youth, she is drawn with impossibly large breasts, a perfectly round and firm butt, a low waist-to-hip ratio, and small feet.

It’s most popular visual erotic art because is SUPERCHARGE all male visual cues, so that’s why men love to watch animated porn.

Now that we have a better understanding of what men like to look at, we can ask—why? That’s what we will attempt in the NEXT video.

If you like this series, LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to MTFU to avoid missing out!

Welcome to <A Billion Wicked Thoughts/十億個邪惡的念頭> Ep.3, where we will explore the Main visual cues that activate male desire i.e. WHAT kind of things men like to see in sex. There are 6 major points of this section.

#1 Male 獼猴 are willing to trade juice to view pics of female monkey’s butts (monkey porn), rather than powerful males or friendly female faces.

Similarly, the most popular adult pay sites attract 75% men, 25% women. BUT

Only 2% of porn subscriptions are billed to credit cards with female names.  

Meaning: Willingness to pay for porn indicates men’s motivation to see images is STRONGER than woman. E.g. many high level management or government staff us taxpayer money to see graphic sex, even it risks public shame or lose jobs.

#2 AGE dominates sexual searches, adult website content, and porn videos.

Most common ages = 16 + 18. Then 50, 40 (MILF) 60 (GILF).

The single most popular search term in Pornhub is “Mom”

Why males desire older women!? -> It’s said that cougars are more aggressive at pursuing sex than younger women.

2010 study found that women age 27-45 have more sexual fantasies, a greater willingness to have one-night stands, and a greater willingness to have casual sex than women in other age ranges.

So 1/4 men who search for teens also search for moms.

How about GILF? 2 countries showing the highest interest in “granny porn” are Kenya (where young people are encouraged to discuss sexual matters with their grandparents rather than their parents) and UK (where many schoolboy’s first contact with a grown woman occurred when older schoolmarms spanked them).

#3 Bro, you do like slim women instead of fat chicks right? In fact, many sex scientists believe that a woman’s waist-to-hip ratio (0.7) is most appealing.

HOWEVER, data says that for every search for a “skinny” girl, there are three searches for a “fat” girl.  On the Alexa Adult List, there are 504 sites dedicated to heavy ladies, and only 182 to skinny ones.  

Why? It might be because  Many BBW (Big, Beautiful, Women) pornhave low ratio due to their excessive hip size.

But one thing is clear: toothpick-thin model women are rare in male targeted porn.

Q: Do you like play with breasts, legs or ass? Do you know which ONE body part that you’re paying attention to when you watch porn that might make you gay?

We’ll reveal some even more crazy data next time that may shock you!

If you like this series, LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to MTFU to avoid missing out!

Welcome to <A Billion Wicked Thoughts/十億個邪惡的念頭> Ep.2, where we will understand what do men and women REALLY like and the difference sexual cues we have.

#1 It is very hard to study the differences b/w men vs women sexual interests because it’s hard to ACQUIRE DATA. Direct observation is best, but people don’t like to be asked about their private lives (feel guilty) +hard to get funding from govt or institution (taboo).

But authors used Dogpile.com (not in use now) , a meta-engine that combine result from Google, Yahoo, Bing etc., to get  400 million searches July 2009 – 2010 as source data.

In the unfiltered search, they find stuff like shemales in prom dresses 人妖, Twilight slash Edward and Jacob 吸血新世紀, wives caught cheating on cam, best romance novels with alpha heroes, kendra wilkinson sex tape, spanking stories 調教打屁股, free gay video tube etc.

#2 In cases where the search was ambiguous, the researchers used the AOL search histories released in 2006 to distinguish whether the terms typically appeared with other sexual searches.

MILF = 熟女/Mother I’d Like to Fuck

So a total of 55 million of the searches were classified as sexual.

And interestingly, the top 20 interests search = 80% all searches
Top 35 top interests = 90% of all searches

Meaning: Most ppl’s desires are actually MORE COMMON than you think. Our sexual desires are shared by many other people.

#3 The most popular erotic web sites reflect interest of men & women’s sexual brains:

Meaning: Men’s and women’s tastes are radically different.

On the web, men prefer images, graphic sex. i.e. sheer lust, physical gratification, no courtship/commitment/relationships. Minimum plot line, focus on the sexual acts, a lot of female bodies – face, breast, genitals.  

Women prefer erotic stories of romance relationships i.e. the heroine identify, win the heart of and marry the one man who is right for her, not just sex.

They seek out different MODES of stimulation. Men prefer to watch, women prefer to read and discuss.

＃4 Authors theorize that men and women respond to different sexual cues.

Our mind’s taste software responds to 5 perceptual inputs: sweet, salty, sour, savory香, and bitter.
E.g. sweetness detects sugar, imply energy, so we like it.
E.g. bitterness detects alkaloid 生物鹼 substance, normally toxic plant, unplesant

Same as our sexual desire, we have evolved psychological mechiansm to detect + assess mate value.

And the next episodes will help us understand specific innate cues that trigger desire in women and men.

If you LIKE this series, please LIKE this video and subscribe to MTFU so that you don’t miss out the value.

Have you wondered why it is so HARD for men to stop masturbating with porn even though they know it’s harming their body and mind?

Have you wondered why women are so obsessed with romance novels like <Twilight><吸血新世紀／暮光之城>, <50 Shades of Grey><格雷的五十道陰影>?

Are you interested in understanding the differences of male & female minds towards sexuality and how they are differently aroused?

Well bro, I am starting this new book series <A Billion Wicked Thoughts/十億個邪惡的念頭> and will start to explain to you the differences, according to very extensive HARDCORE DATE from online searches.

#1 Before this study came out, the only BIG sex study was done in 1950s by Alfred Kinsey, where he and his team interviewed >18,000 people with 521 Qs about sexual interests.

Those were very old data and the methods were limited because it relies on self-report AND it’s mostly educated, middle class Caucasians.

But the authors in this book are neuroscientists, they examined >400 million different searches and the search history of more than 650,000 people, providing a vastly more detailed and improved answer to the Q: what do men and women really desire?

#2 So why is this book a much STRONGER data that reflects more TRUTH about human sexuality?

Because billions of people are FREE to search their most secret erotic desires in a totally anonymous way.

They are in private settings, they are NOT censored and NOT afraid to reveal their trustest desires. So these datas are reflect the truth in a non-judgemental way.

#3 So bro, I plan to use about 10 episodes (5-7 mins)  to reveal the MOST important findings in this book, and explain to you HOW you can utilize these data to your advantage when it comes to dating/sex.

If you LIKE this, please LIKE this video now and SUBSCRIBE to MTFU so that you don’t miss out the updates.

#4 What you need to know now is this: By analyzing the secret desires of tens of millions of men + women, AND explaining the mechanism behind that, you will discover some DARK sides of human sexuality.

We are penetrating through people’s mind with ZERO filter. The sexual brain is NOT politically correct, NOT socially conservative, NOT morally upright.

If you want to become good with women or sex, I invite you to cast away all the moral/religious/social/familial/cultural IDEAS or beliefs about SEX, and use an objective lens to observe the harcore TRUTH.

You may feel offended, feel sad, feel angry, feel crazy, feel negative about certain stuff, but that’s just the statistics and it’s up to you to see them or not.

I hope you will enjoy this <十億個邪惡的念頭> series, if you have any Qs or anything you want to say, leave a CM below and let me know.

We will start Ch.1 in the next video so I will see you there!