分類: 人生

Are you annoyed with your parents at home or caretakers?

 

Do you feel that their negativity are drowning you?

 

Do you feel misunderstood when you’re growing yourself but those who love you are not supporting you or bringing you up?

 

I want every brother to listen this Q with patience, compassion and curiosity.

 

DO NOT judge this brother’s behavior OR the woman’s behavior and impose your moral values on them.

 

Think deeper about the underlying problem inside.

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Hi Man神，溝女問題暫時解決曬 , 家陣我同屋企人相處都好有問題，尤其是我老母！ 我對老母的行為極其反感並盡力克制言語。

 

是咁的，我老母嘅 personalties 仲衰過 typical 嘅港女，放完工返到屋企淨係識「怨」，又鬧類似「我好攰呀」「俾我抖下啦」、「好撚煩呀」…

 

我心諗屌你老母係人都有壓力㗎啦，呢個世界得你一個有壓力㗎，我同老豆都不斷受你氣已經壓力唔小啦，你生我出嚟唔係畀你做沙包、情緒垃圾桶，仲挑戰我底線，好心老母抹大自己隻狗眼睇清楚自己做緊乜先啦，臭柒！

 

就係因為咁我就有一次鬧佢，點知佢幾日唔睬我，好啦，唔睬就唔睬對我冇乜影響， 仲撚離譜嘅係瞓覺半夜三更發脾氣，係咁打張床，

 

仆你個街發脾氣就死出去啦，唔好返屋企喇，想訓番好覺都唔得，明知問題喺你度仲喺到掋賴，on撚99冇藥醫!

 

好啦算啦, 見佢冇得救我都廢事理佢. 前幾日先火都嚟，喂大佬，我去圖書館溫書有乜問題，仲叫「陪我啦」，咁我當然冇理佢同堅持出街，跟住佢又嬲。

 

屌，我前幾日陪你唔夠？你真係無野做？夜晚仲喺張床度喊，你咪喊囉，自我中心到咁嘅人就係咁，you are the goodest.

 

所以呢幾日我都同佢冇講嘢，同埋一眼都唔望佢唔 show佢，Man神，我以後都唔想同佢講嘢、來往，

 

佢再嚟料我真係直頭會當自己無咗吖媽，同一個性格衰到咁撚樣嘅人一齊我好辛苦…… 唔知你有冇類似經歷？

 

Thx for reading my email. – M

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There’s so much happening in this situation and I can totally how much PAIN you are going through as a teenager or young adult.

 

I can absolutely relate to you because I have experienced similar feeling when you feel like your parents/loved ones are bring you down, spreading negativity and they DON’T understand you.

 

Here’s what I want to share and what I learn over the years.

 

#1 If we truly don’t care about someone, we would naturally be apathetic about their behaviors.

 

The reason you, me or others feel PISSED, ANGRY, ANNOYED by our caretakers’ behaviors is because deep down we still love them…

 

we still care about them and that’s why we feel so FRUSTRATED when they behave in a way that we don’t like, and when we know that they can DO MUCH BETTER than they could at that moment.

 

So M, I believe you still care about your mother, otherwise you wouldn’t have accomplished her.

 

It’s just that her behaviors are negatively bringing you down and you’re struggling to balance loving her and loving yourself.

 

#2 I don’t know why your mum is always bitching, moaning, whining about life, and it is SAD that she isn’t taking responsibility with her EMOTIONS and SITUATIONS and woman up to grow to become a better, stronger, more capable her.

 

Maybe she has tried, but it’s still not enough.

 

However, despite she needs to woman up and become a leader of her life, she is screaming her shit because she ALSO is in DEEP PAIN.

 

She is crying for help and she needs someone she trusts to help her, and that’s why she naturally wants her husband and son to listen to her and understand her, although she isn’t aware that constant BMW is NOT how you solve your shit problems.

 

#3 As a mature grown up human being, we all need to understand one truth:

 

Before we seek to be understood, we need to first understand.

 

So many people are desperate to be understood by others, which is natural, that they forget to FIRST UNDERSTAND OTHERS.

 

Most people are so NEEDY that they need others to validate/accept themselves that they forget to validate/accept/love themselves first.

 

Thus, if you want to learn how to influence others, first try to understand them without judgement BEFORE you try to make them understand you.

 

#4 The very sad truth is that sometimes those who love us the most are those who fuck us up the most, even when they have good intentions for us.

 

To grow up from a boy to a man, it’s in our human psyche that we NEED to go through an initiation stage,

 

where we CUT the TIES with our primary caretakers, be taken away by the elderly figures and be CHALLENGED in the tough world, AND THEN come back with a new identity as a transformed man.

 

Especially if you want to take care of your family,

 

you MUST first leave your home/parents ASAP, build a life/kingdom for yourself, before you can give back to them in greater/bigger/better way.

 

Thus if you want to grow faster to become a man, you must find a way to LEAVE HOME as your #1 priority, learn to build a life for yourself, before you can support your caretakers.

 

So you might consider LOVING your loved ones from a distance for a while,

 

to protect your mindset/environment when you’re in a vulnerable stage of growing and building your life,

 

and THEN contribute back and spending more time with them when you’re successful.

 

I know this message is controversial,

 

I know this pill is tough to swallow for many parents,

 

I know it’s easy to judge this behavior as 不孝 to many traditional families,

 

But this is CRUCIAL step for boys to grow up as men,

 

that’s been a LONG ritual 成人禮 that has been forgotten by modern society.

 

Read Robert Bly <Iron John／鐵約翰> for more reference，

 

it’s  一本關於男性啟蒙的書, highly recommended.

Have you wondered WHEN and how to get girls’ number?

 

Are you worried whether you are being a leader and having 主導權 when you interact with girls？

 

How do you get rid of your 毒L habits and become the MAN you dream yourself to be?

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HI MAN SIR, YOU CAN CALL ME L.

如題, 返工識左個女仔好合眼缘，份工返左冇幾耐姐(同個女仔第3日一齊返)，冇同個女仔build大多rapport，

 

但今日用左＂勇敢開口同女仔傾計的4個心法＂，成功拎到個女仔contact，

 

情况如下: 我就放工個時 1.我無eye contact甘行過佢

2.突然停底讚下佢(佢今日業績幾好)

 

3.同佢講:抄個靚牌ah~遲日出尼食下飯

 

4.佢呆左陣之後微笑問我要邊種contact先

 

5.我話你接受到個種程度個種 <–(因為我都覺拎tel.no快左d，先識左個3日，而且想respect返佢作為女仔既矜持 —>  但後尾發現唔對路！

我竟然將主導權比左佢!冇左男人既feel!!! 想問下尼點佢有冇扣我分)

 

6.佢寫左佢snapchat比我(工作時手機不能更身)

 

7.我拎左之後走之後轉身話: 我今晚揾你 (微笑)

 

8.但其實我諗住今晚拎唔記得左 , 完全唔揾佢:’)    (要用man sir你教個招😈)

=================

 

=> Biggest Mistake: You haven’t qualified her before you get her contact.

 

She hasn’t earned any shit from you and you give access to her. So it’s a bit too player feel when you said “抄個靚牌ah~遲日出尼食下飯”.

 

Has she even earned the right to dine with you?

 

If you don’t screen and qualify herself and invite her out TOO EARLY on, she won’t cherish the opportunity to spend 1-2-1 time with you.

 

And stop thinking“抄牌”is what you must do.

 

When you have the right attraction and connection, it’s so common that girls will ask you for your contacts to further connect with you.

 

I don’t want to discourage you from taking action, but you GOTTA be more patient to make her feel that SHE CAN”T wait to meet you, see you, date you.

=================

講左個人狀况先: 我係肥仔(有肚腩 但不是超肥) 面有好多暗瘡，樣子不討好。但剪左類左man sir你既haircut，有少少陽光feel。

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=》 You gotta get rid of your 暗瘡 as much as possible because CLEANIESS/ APPEARANCE  does matter.

 

You don’t want to make people feel that you are a lazy dirty dude who doesn’t take time for self-care.

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最近開始減緊肥 ，每日放工返家都有做5-6組workout，持续左1 week till now，但個人除左打機冇乜hobby。

 

=》Bro, MTFU. You are BETTER than just playing video games!

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因為睇MAN D 片，前係不折不扣死毒L，但依加有意識去dominate own path ( MAN 可否教下路)。只係冇從入手， 諗住遲下跑下步，create hobby先!

個女仔A0  我都係

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=》The first thing you need to do is to EXPLORE more hobbies that make you feel excited, alive, fun and can’t wait to do it weekly. If you don’t have an active lifestyle, it’s hard to inspire women to follow you.

E.g. do some sports/workout training, try yoga/dancing, explore places, read books to cultivate your mindset, attend classes that help your future

=================

Questions:

1.  想問下我拎女仔contact比主導權佢選擇是錯誤嗎?
2.  若果個女仔聽日都唔揾我，我可以主動揾佢嗎?(約她食飯)
3.  若果個女仔聽日都唔揾我，是否代表我不夠attractive?
4.  毒撚可以如何 dominate own path ?(具體上)

pps.我未睇wtsapp game d video  今晚補下習先:) THX MAN!!!

補充下，我返工個陣好專心做自己既tasks，做自己業績，冇成日揾佢，因為我成日記住man你講男人有自己既路要行!!

=================

#1 There’s no right or wrong to get girls contact or give her yours.

 

Personally, I just LOVE to give my contacts girls out after I’ve qualified them and let them find me.

 

Yes you may never hear from her, but what you sub-communicate is that you DON”T need her and you won’t chase her just like every pussy beta male dogs…

 

And if they DO find you, it means she is interested and a qualified girl, you are in a higher position with control to move things forward.

 

#2 I won’t give my valuable time or an opportunity to eat with me SO EASILY to girls who are NOT interested or qualified.

 

#3 Maybe you aren’t attractive, maybe you are attractive but you did things wrong, maybe she is just unavailable or blind.

 

Stop blaming yourself so easily because 60-70% of the interaction depends on HER situation while you can control only 30-40%.

 

#4 You dominate your path by having a LIFE PURPOSE that is BIGGER than yourself and LARGER than just fucking more women.

 

When you are spending your major time accomplishing your MISSION that matters to you,

 

and being a light, playful, fun, challenging, adventurous, sexual leader during social time with girls, you are the fucking man that every woman craves.

Have you ever worried about not being able to attract girls richer, more social value, more successful than you?

What do you do if your current social skill isn’t as good as the girl?

Do you feel shameful about your family background that you don’t want to show your authentic true self?

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Hello! Man神，我讀緊書，至今A0。我一直都唔敢溝比自己更有錢、條件更好嘅女仔，試過約女仔去街，但係話題唔多，

 

我見識同社交技巧好弱，亦唔想俾女仔知道自己太多，對自己的家庭背景感到自卑，將自己真實一面顯露出來會更自卑，點先可以克服呢樣野? thanks

====================

 

#1 Your current belief system = A value of a person is determined by your income.

 

You think 『賺得多錢先至代表你有價值』, therefore you are INSECURE that your girl is richer/more successful/social than you.

 

You are trying to COMPETE with her.

 

This is a common problem especially for dudes from the PUA cold approach game world.

 

Because your values system, what you stand for in life, what’s your purpose, your ideals, what meaning in life is NEVER determined.

 

You just try to cover things up with PUA tricks, lines, routines.

 

Right now, you are trying to earn more money/learn game to FEED YOUR EGO. -> i.e. your EGO that needs women/others to like you in order for you to feel worthy and good enough. E.g. show pics to your guy friends how hot your gfs are so that you feel like “I am the man”

 

In short, you feel 自卑 because you are NOT born in a rich, successful, socialable family.  

 

That’s why you don’t feel VALUABLE as a human being in society’s value system.

 

That’s why you feel SHAMEFUL about your background and personal history.

 

Here’s what I invite you to do:

 

Instead of buying into this society’s value that you need to be rich, successful, famous, sociable in order to be WORTHY,

 

OR the PUA’s value that you must fuck hundreds of girls and have thousands of 女兵 in order to prove that you are successful with women… which is only a small % of the world population,

 

think and determine YOUR OWN VALUES SYSTEM!

 

Do you know why you feel TORN right now?

 

It’s because you’re trying to FIT IN into society’s values 高富帥 or PUA’s values 食女無數.

 

You are shirking your worldview into what is desirable in the context of nightclub or the general media propaganda of 有女有樓有車有家庭。

 

You are trying to give up your own values to get pussy, to get success, to get recognized.

 

Thus, if people value money/pussy MORE THAN being a good person, of course you are always losing their game.

 

***So think about YOUR OWN VALUES SYSTEM.***

 

Values are relative, be careful of what values system you’re adopting.

 

E.g. In nightclubs, hot girls always have higher value than rich men! 

 

So think deeply what values you stand for, what’s important to you in life and what’s the MEANING of your life is.

 

=> Having a Passion  

 

Life Purpose will give you MEANING in life, it GROUNDS you so that you don’t  feel lost.

 

Until you have your own values system and life purpose, you will always feel insecure/inferior about yourself and you don’t feel worthy/good enough for certain girls.

 

For ref: Watch “賺得少, 真係因為你對社會毫無貢獻？”

Have you wondered what a real 型男 is?

 

Have you tried to act COOL but only to find that the girl got scared away or lose interest because you care too less?

 

What would you do if you find that the girl you like already has a bf?

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Hello man神 ,我最近發現到你既影片,然後我發現失去左好多溝女既機會,因為我分人經常扮COOL講野就呼呼喝喝既人。

 

=》There’s a difference between a COOL guy and a fake cool guy.

 

A real cool guy is a LEADER who is not only ASSERTIVE／堅定自信 about himself with confidence,

 

but also an EASYGOING individual who confidently let go of things out of his control and doesn’t stress out about small stuff.

 

So, a cool guy is sexual and adventurous who is passionate about life,

 

but he is NOT being a DICK to people or being an asshole fake alpha male who tries to put down of other people.

 

我喜歡左一個女仔，佢係我工作上既同事。

 

起初佢係好討厭我，因為我扮COOL講野就呼呼喝喝，所以令佢覺得我好惡，我同佢好少講野，因為每日返工都見到佢既關係,所以開始有同佢講野同埋玩但係好少。

 

我有時會寸佢整野樣衰，佢就會同我講我想打你阿!之類既野,慢慢佢開始沒有討厭我而且開始對我有好感。

 

=> Let me clarify again: Being a cool guy is NOT about being RUDE,

 

being ASSERTIVE／堅定自信 and CERTAIN about yourself doesn’t mean you need to 亂咁屌鳩人跟住令啲年輕巴打覺得你好似好有霸氣。

 

Yes, I did tell you to be more EDGY, 刃, less nice, say whatever the fuck you want,  and be a little bit 寸.

 

But what I mean is to value your own OPINION without FORCING others to buy into your ideas.

 

When you stop trying so hard to PROVE to the world that you’re right, then you will naturally attract people to you in a magnetic manner.

 

我睇過你既影片10樣女仔對你有興趣指標，後來發現佢既表現好似中了幾個，有一次我同班同事傾緊有關手機game抽卡既野，傾完之後，佢就主動同我講返個D野,同埋佢有時會拍吓我膊頭,

 

我一向講野都唔好笑冇人想笑但佢會笑, 有時有互相寸吓大家，佢同我妹妹經常有野講好好傾既，所以我問我妹妹佢有冇問有關我既野,阿妹話有, 佢問我點解講野咁惡平時係屋企係點樣架？佢仲話我好霸氣。

 

=》#1 Do you know why people don’t laugh at what you say?

 

It’s because you aren’t even laughing at what you say and you don’t think it’s funny.

 

The trick to being a funny is you must say things in a SELF-AMMUSING manner.

 

When you say stuff because you genuinely find it funny and you say it just to self-amuse yourself, your good emotions will naturally transfer to others and make them feel good and more likely to laugh.

 

但後來我知道佢有個男朋友仲好似識左好耐，我即時覺得好絕望之後冇再同佢玩同講野慢慢好冷淡，但係佢仍然有寸我掂我，佢有男朋友仲比signal我姐係咩意思呢？當我小朋友玩下我?

 

我當自己應該冇機會，但係我睇完你影片發現可能未必冇機會，我唔想放棄想係佢男朋友手上搶佢返黎。

 

=》#1 Girls giving you signals DO NOT always mean they are single.

 

Every girl wants MORE attention, that’s the feminine nature and it never ends,

 

and that’s why the entertainment attracts so many young girls who CRAVE to be SEEN, it’s hard for them to resist the temptation.

 

#2 Why do you feel frustrated when they have BF?

 

You should celebrate it because that only means their BF is NOT satisfying her feminine needs and that’s why she is seeking elsewhere.

 

Of course you can try to beat that guy by presenting yourself as a better option, and it’s totally possible to sleep with this girl and make her CHEAT…

 

but I won’t recommend you STEALING her for your ego boost and indirectly hurt another human being who is making relationship mistakes.

 

If she still flirts with you and desires you, and you desire her and want to be a man,

 

it’s a masculine way to tell her that it’s YOUR RULE NOT to sleep with women who are in a committed relationship.

 

If she wants to be with you, she needs to break up first.

 

That’s what a real man does, instead of being a sneaky value-sucker who sleeps around in a dishonest way that is doing the world no good.

 

後來佢升級做左經理之後，每日都好似好忙，而且無處不在，好難見到佢出現係我眼前，以前仲可以偷望佢，

 

好難搵佢講野，加上我係內向怕羞既人，但我真係好想得到佢，man神我應該點樣做先可以溝到佢阿！求你幫吓我 – Kit

 

=> I think I have shared with you the path you need to take. In order to attract her,

 

#1 Stop being a creepy guy who feels shameful about your sexual desire.

 

If you want to LOOK at her beauty, look right at her eye as a man and behold her.

 

#2 Be edgy but NOT an offensive person who uses RUDENESS as a disguise of your lack of true confidence.

 

#3 Let her feel your desire but also STRENGTH as a man, that you desire her but you have a rule NOT to sleep with women who are in a committed relationship.

 

The last one is just my recommendation for you to man up, it’s up to you to choose what you want to do

 

– as a man with an abundance mindset who CHOOSES which women to sleep with OR scarcity mindset who NEEDS to sleep with every girl available ASAP.

＃1 我哋都活係一個『即食』嘅年代。

 

大部分嘅年青人都係想搵捷徑去成功，或者想搵最短時間最簡單嘅方法得到佢哋想要嘅嘢，無論係賺錢溝女定係做任何嘢。

 

咁所以喺呢一個主張你『付出最少得到最大回報』嘅意識形態裏面，男人嘅雄性力量／masculinity其實就係啱啱哋被蠶食緊。

 

＃2 點解？

 

原因就係因為我哋masculine energy嘅頂峰，就係處於係一個被挑戰／被challenge嘅狀態裏面。

 

如果你一味容許自己hea，一味畀更多藉口自己點解做唔到某樣嘢，你唔單止係變成緊一個懶到爆嘅value sucker，

 

你身為男人嘅masculine edge更加將會被慢慢殲滅，最後變成一個一無所有嘅loser。

 

但係你要記住：我哋之所以不斷俾challenge自己，並唔係純粹去追求下一個目標；

 

你真正要push自己嘅原因，係因為喺呢個過程之中你將會塑造自己成為一個乜嘢嘅人。

 

＃3 意思即係話：你每個禮拜花三四日去做gym，並唔係純粹想keep fit練大隻啲；

 

而係因為你係斷練緊自己嘅commitment，自己嘅堅持去做好某件事。

 

又例如你學習男女吸引力／兩性關係等等嘅學問，

 

並唔係純粹想抄牌屌西，跟住將所有被你『狠狠調教過』嘅女伴當作戰利品畀其他唔成熟嘅靚仔歡呼喝采；

 

而係因為你想成為一個更加明白男女intimacy同感情嘅人，

 

令到你能夠同你嘅partner製造既有激情又有深切連繫嘅quality relationship。

 

＃4 咁所以正當咁多男士墮落緊嘅時候，我邀請巴打你記住：

 

雖然你做以下我分享嘅嘢你係會馬上突圍而出，但係記住我哋人生唯一嘅對手就係我哋自己。

 

咁所以以下有兩樣嘢我想巴打你帶走：

 

＃5 第一，請你自己選擇點樣去challenge自己，

 

無論係健康上，財富上，親密關係上，性愛上，社交上等等嘅areas。

 

你依家會唔會覺得自己嘅人生某一方面係好停滯不前呢？

 

如果你嚟緊一年你只能夠達成一個目標，你喺邊一個area進步係會令到你各方面嘅生活質素都有最大提升呢？

 

要記住：好多時舒適範圍唔單止係講緊你做嘅嘢，comfort zone更加係講緊你生存嘅環境，

 

咁所以有時自己一個去旅行係一啲非常好嘅個人成長嘅方法。

 

＃6 第二，喺呢一刻嘅你，你覺得有乜嘢係綁住緊你隻腳，令到你唔能夠遠走高飛呢？

 

呢啲綁住你嘅anchors，好多時都係一啲你身邊嘗試破壞你夢想嘅人；

 

除咗係一啲故意攻擊你追隨自己道路嘅人，有時候好可惜嘅係一啲愛錫你但係過份干預你嘅人。

 

咁所以如果你唔能夠完全斬斷關係，你就要學識點樣有選擇性地 limit／限制自己同佢接觸嘅時間。

 

＃7 Anyway，最後想講嘅就係：

 

女人喺被一啲有目標，有purpose，有passion，有衝勁，識得自學反思去改善自己嘅男人。

 

咁所以當你唔再浪費自己時間，當你不斷挑戰自己能力邊緣嘅時候，

 

你就能夠好快喺事業上感情上突圍而出，並且同時得到你想要嘅理想人生。

If you remember, we talked about why dependence will KILL every relationship, because your NEED for someone else to COMPLETE you will create unhealthy relationships.

 

That’s why we must first grow from dependence to independence stage.

 

But that’s stage 2, because if you stay too long/stuck in independence and autonomy stage, you won’t be able to experience something deeper: connection & intimacy.

 

That’s why you must then grow to stage 3 interdependence, where we learn to work with our partners to magnify our human experience.

 

If you are now too independent and FEEL quite lonely in your life, maybe it’s a sign that your life lacks connection and fulfillment.

 

Here’s 3 questions to guide you on how to lean on others in a healthy non-toxic way.

 

Tip #1 Think about where you are trying to “go alone” too much in your life. Where in your life are you afraid to ask for help? Love life? Job? Friends?

 

Are you doing to PROVE that you are capable of being independent, OR you are afraid that people will think you are WEAK when you ask for help?

 

Humans are social species. Apes alone weak, apes together strong.

At certain point of your life, you NEED to learn to let others in so that we help each other thrive.

 

Tip #2 How many “friends” in your life REALLY REALLY know you?

your fears, insecurities, dreams, aspirations etc.

 

If you have 1-5 great friends, that’s awesome because MOST people have ZERO 知己.

 

So be honest, if you don’t have any, it’s time to reach out to your old friends and maybe meet some new friends.

 

Tip #3 What are you scared to do most? Something that might make you look powerless, weak, vulnerable?

 

The truth is it’s VERY HARD to do it all alone as a lone wolf.

 

Our fears and insecurities are pointers on the areas where we may NEED other people to help us, teach us, nurture us, love us, help us grow.

 

Yes, being happy, independent, self-sufficient is a GROWTH from stage 1 dependence to stage 2 independence.

 

But if you truly want to dominate life faster, you will need INTIMACY or a COMMUNITY.

 

If being alone isn’t getting results you want, It’s time to listen to your HEART and take new action!

有冇試過覺得自己『唔夠好』去令對方鍾意自己，或者『自己唔值得被對方愛』呢？

 

我哋每個人都會有質疑自己價值嘅時候，無論係因為你父母對你過度嚴苛，又或者你女朋友太正令到你自卑嘅感覺，我哋都有一啲情感嘅包袱令我哋忘記點樣愛錫自己。

 

但係如果你想係一定感情之中感受到自己已經足夠，如果你想提升自己嘅自尊心嘅話，

 

你就必須學識點樣增加你對自己嘅愛，你對自己嘅self love，which is one of the MTFU’s core value.

 

#1 Use Compassion For Our Emotions

 

When we feel low/negative/low self-esteem, we especially with ambitious achievers can be TOO HARD on ourselves.

 

-> Treat your less desirable thoughts about yourself like a 3-year old child who has just fallen and hurt his knees

 

-> You won’t hurry to heal the hurt, you gently heal the woud and let the pain pass away while comforting him , NO judgement

 

Give room for yourself to BREATHE through the process and be compassionate towards your growth journey.

 

#2 Take Ownership Of Our Own Happiness

 

Truth: No one can make you feel happy, it’s YOUR duty to do it for yourself.

 

Why that’s a good thing? -> You are no longer a victim, you can choose to be empowered.

 

When you get this, you can CHOOSE to be whoever you want to be and be happy whenever you want it.

 

Stop judging yourself so harshly when you have a bad day or didn’t get what you want temporarily.

 

#3 Self-Love Letter Exercise

 

It’s natural to focus on our LACK/inadequacies/concerns because our brain is automatically searching for threats to make sure you survive.

 

But our brain isn’t designed to make us thrive or happy.

 

So if you can focus your attention on writing a self love letter on what you want to improve about yourself,

 

WHY you deserve to be loved,

 

WHAT you have already accomplished,

 

what qualities do you have to make you successful in life and love…

 

then it’s a great reminder on why you are GOOD ENOUGH.

 

#4 Celebrate small wins daily

 

Growth is a gradual, daily, never-ending process.

 

IT’s a way of BEING, it’s a mindset,  instead of a one time thing.

 

So you always want to REMEMBER how far you’ve gone in life, what you have learnt in the past,

 

why you are GRATEFUL for these LIFE LESSONS that are designed to help you become a better human being.

 

Take 3-5 mins a day to remember your accomplishments and these mini celebrations will build up your confidence and success.

 

#5 Environment is more powerful than willpower

 

No successful people can succeed if they spend time with people who drag them down, complain lives, bitch about gossips and do stupid shit.

 

Every 3 months, EVALUATE who you spend time with the most and see if they’re encouraging you the most.

 

If yes, then nurture that relationships.

 

If no, get the fuck out ASAP, even when sometimes those who love us the most fuck us up the most.

 

Conclusions: Whatever your path is, remember that SELF LOVE is the foundation of everything.

 

Your relationship  success, career achievement, and personal fulfillment all depend on it!

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我呢，最近想認識一個女仔，但係我係果種唔識開口果種人，因為自己無乜異性緣，同其他女仔都未試過有單獨傾計既時間，每次都係一大班人咁樣傾。

 

但係我睇完你既影片，我都無法運用自如，更加用唔出泥，我仲讀緊書，而我真係好想變成一個成功既人。

 

希望你可以解答我點樣可以開口同人傾計同點保持關係。

 

你既影片好多時我感覺都係用係酒吧到，希望可以睇更多關於係非club既場合認識異性既影片，加油呀，我支持你 – Sky

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＃1 Bro, stop giving excuses that I am “not that kind of guy” or “無乜異性緣”, you are reinforcing an OLD IDENTITY that is not serving you.

 

I am not teaching you any techniques now because all the talking techniques are already taught in past videos.

 

But let me ask you a deeper question: You said you want to become successful, but do you think a successful people will operate at such VICTIM mentality saying “oh, i never met girls in the past, I am not the kind of guy who speaks?”

 

If you want to be successful at anything, stop living in your OLD FUCKING STORY of what you failed, OR blaming your past.

 

MTFU and do something, I have already taught you: The best way to talk to people is to use your OBSERVATIONAL SKILL, use the environment, or use the CONTEXT of the situation and say something that is RELEVANT to the situation and RELEVANT to her.

 

E.g. I was in a gym, I saw a girl doing squat with her DB next to me.

 

Even though her form is good, I later talked to her “Hey, I just saw you doing squat over there. But your knees are a bit too forward, that might hurt your leg, be careful.”

 

BOOM, easy opener. She looked at me and giggled.

 

#2 You don’t like hanging out in bars? Great, I don’t pick up in bars much as well.

 

But are you actively doing ACTIVITIES you love?

 

How many times have I suggested you all to explore FUN SOCIAL activities for yourself?

 

When will you understand that your current lack of social activities is hurting your happiness and fulfillment as a man?

 

I bet you haven’t done shit bro. So what are you to complain?

 

How many videos have you watched? How much ACTION have you taken?

 

MTFU bro, I appreciate your support and that’s why I am being HONEST and having some tough love on you.

 

If you arent willing to help yourself, I can’t fvcking help you as well. Got i

=======================

最近去朋友派對，同新認識的女性朋友傾計，不過幾個都好冷淡，

因為對方冷淡所以我都冇抄到對方電話，費事抄d冷電話返來，點解決呢個問題

=======================

#1 60/40, 70/30 Interaction Rule -> You aren’t the only one in the interaction!

Pay attention to females’ response, be AWARE if they are OPEN at all.

 

#2 You actually did well, nothing wrong with it, are you enjoying yourself though?

 

If you are not having FUN and enjoying these kinds of social environment, it’s counterproductive to your success.

 

#3 Success is in the ACTION, not the OUTCOME of it.

 

Keep trying, keep experimenting, keep increasing your sample size before you draw conclusions.

Hi Man神，最近小弟發現左自己讀書十幾年D英文都係半桶水咁，Grammar 底打得麻麻地。

 

而我亦都深深明白識英文嘅重要性，無論學問又好,溝外國女又好,Build up自己d values 都好,真係好有用。

 

所以Man神, 有冇個基本文法以外嘅grammar list可以比我知道(例如倒裝句之類 Thx ：)

 

Ps 雖然睇落同溝女冇關係,但係我相信英文可以有助我地成為alpha male (如果我冇錯嘅話XD

 

Btw 之前invite 女果封newsletter,我查完之後發現, me and my friends 好似要係object 先得?! —-某位中學生上

 

#1 English used to be my PASSION when I was studying, it comes natural to me but I have spent many years since kindergarten to be comfortable with this skill.

 

Right now, I know how to use English fluently, and I use English without any thoughts (Unconscious Competence),

 

but I am no longer in the STUDY MODE so I don’t pay too much attention to grammar in my communications.

 

#2 But what I can tell you is that great yes if English isn’t about reciting vocabs or using inversions,

 

mastering English is about being effective in your communication so that you can read, write, speak, listen and understand.

 

#3 I can’t teach you now because I really not in the exam field anymore, but here’s what I DID in the past to be the top 2% English in exams.

 

– Experiement a ton of English tutors until I find the right ones.

 

Some are more grammar-focused/old school English, some are more exam-oriented and teach you SKILLS to excel. You need both. So find your tutorial teachers.

 

– If you want to excel, you do ALL CE, AL, DSE past papers available.

 

That’s what all C grades or above students do and you gotta do them to get a feel of how English can be examined.

 

– The more immersion you have in English, the easier you know how to INTEGRATE it in your life.

 

Everyone says that they watch movies, read books and speak in English to become good.

 

I think I got Bs instead of As mainly because I lacked these. I missed the immersion part.

 

So if you could make English part of your life, there’s no reason you won’t improve.

================

嗨 man神  的確呢排我係有啲忙，無係咁睇email，細佬我對你唔住。

 

不過其實我有將你啲片downlond落手機自己得閑搭車𠴱陣慢慢睇。

 

而且真係有將你講過嘅嘢做一啲reflection同summary打落notebook提自己要點樣再做好啲。

 

而我近排有過少少嘅問題。

 

係咁嘅本身我睇完你本書仔之後就開始將自己點樣去變得更高存在感啲，而呢招的而且確係對我有幫助。

 

之後個女仔都會有約我出街等等，又會去invite我去啲活動等等。

 

呢啲都好正常，但係有陣時單獨whatsapp𠴱陣又會無啦啦斷咗個話題，雖然我明白你同我講過就係whatsapp就係一個平台俾我約佢出嚟。

 

但係有陣時我哋兩個都會忙，有陣時無時間約出嚟等等。咁呢個時候就需要呢啲軟件幫手。

 

究竟係咪我心態上有啲問題，雖然我明白唔好睇到個平台咁重要，但如果係你又會點做呢。

 

另外我有多個問題，你之前講過點樣turn好自己個default setting去到出面嘅精英咁。

 

但係有時我只係可以keep到一陣，之後又唔記得咗要點做／又會被地方影響咗，有咩方法可能keep it up，可以提住自己每分每刻都要100％精精神神. 而唔想只係做三秒鐘男人。

 

或者有冇好地方好推介俾自己。

 

最後附上我嘅證據去show俾你睇我唔係一個只係stay係垃圾confort zone嘅pussy，而係有決心向上流嘅廿歲精英 lol。 -Z

================

 

#1 Well done, you are doing what MANY guys aren’t doing.

 

You are ACTIVELY taking notes to consolidate what you learn from MTFU free videos. Keep that up!

 

#2 Good, you are expanding your PRESENCE, which is CRUCIAL whether to attract girls or keep a relationship passionate!

 

#3 As regards Whatsapp, you DON”T necessarily need to keep the conversation going.

 

 

I constantly STOP whatsapping girls because I AM A BUSY GUY who is dominating his path!

 

If you want her to keep investing in you passively, showcase your lifestyle via social media and let her SEE it. She will mentally invest in you and keep you in mind.

 

And when the timing comes, whatapp her to INVITE her to do some FUN SOCIAL stuff, and you DO IT regardless of whether she is coming to join you!

 

#4 How to keep up your positive, action-taking, handsome, energetic default setting?

 

-> Motivation is like a shower, you gotta do it every fucking single day.

 

I prime myself everyday multiple times: I plan my days the night before,

 

I get into a gratitude state every morning,

 

I do some kind of physical work daily,

 

I read out affirmations with passion,

 

I remind myself with my vision and weekly goals daily,

 

I listen to high energy daily,

 

and I keep taking imperfect action daily!

 

Don’t just be motivated today and then slack tomorrow.

 

Because most of our environments/people SUCK and are conditioning us to live in scarcity /poverty /reaction-seeking state.

 

You must stand guard of your body and mind.

 

Cut off the negative news and rubbish media feeds.

 

Feed your mind with nutritious stuff and PROTECT IT.

 

Being a sucker requires no effort, it’s society’s default.

 

Being a winner requires vigilance, requires protection, requires you to set up a SYSTEM to protect your time, energy and assets.

 

Now it’s your time to pick a path!