分類: 人生

Have you ever first kiss a girl after intense attraction & arousal, you left and find her next day, only to find that she is NO LONGER interested in you?

 

Well, there’s a reason.

 

Kisses are actually taste tests for our bodies to figure out if the person you are kissing is a strong genetic fit with your DNA.

 

A study by Oxford University researchers found that kissing helps in assessing potential mates through taste/smell, picking up on biological cues for compatibility, genetic fitness or general health.

 

Initial attraction may include facial, body and social cues.

 

Then assessments become more and more intimate as we go deeper into the courtship stages, and this is where kissing comes in.”

 

Other findings included:

 

* In short relationships, survey participants said kissing was most important before sex, less so during sex, was less important again after sex and was least important at other times.

 

In committed relationships, where forming and maintain a lasting bond is an important goal, kissing was equally important before sex and at times not-related to sex.

 

* In a companion paper in the journal Human Nature, the researchers report that women’s attitudes to romantic kissing also depend on where in their menstrual cycle and their relationship they are.

 

Women valued kissing most at initial stages of a relationship when they were in the part of their cycle when they are most likely to conceive.

 

=> Previous studies have shown that hormonal changes associated with the menstrual cycle can change a woman’s preferences for a potential mate. When chances of conceiving are highest, women seem to prefer men who display supposed signals of underlying genetic fitness, such as masculinized faces, facial symmetry, social dominance, and genetic compatibility. (ALPHA MALE!)  

 

It appears that kissing a romantic potential partner at this time helps women assess the genetic quality of a potential mate, the researchers say.

If you are like me, my upbringing & social conditioning taught me that “women are the romantic creature seeking LOVE and they fall in LOVE easily with a man.

 

VS Men are the seed-spreading non-committers, so they all just want to have sex and can detach themselves immediately”…

 

If you also believe that, then you are fvcked by these lies!

 

#1 According to a research by psychologist Marissa A. Harrison in 2010 “Women and Men in Love: Who Really Feels It and Says It First?

-> Truth: Men actually fall in love FASTER at the beginning, but fall out of love slower after a break up THAN women!

-> “Women may not be the greater “fools for love” that society assumes and are consistent with the notion that a pragmatic and cautious view of love has adaptive significance for women.”

 

Why? Because women are evolutionarily more cautious, they have more to lose reproductively by committing to a wrong man.

 

Women have finite # of eggs, but men can produce millions of sperm daily.

 

#2 And according to Neil Lamont, a London based psychologist: People generally tend to see men as more pragmatic or even commitment-avoidant. “[But] meaningful relating is as important to men as it is to women.

And while societal and cultural norms may have dictated that men should be strong and resilient, the reality is [that] a well-lived life for men will typically involve deep and meaningful, loving relationships.”

 

#3 Caveat: Women have short term & long term mating strategies, so while they may not “fall in love” with a guy , they may still wanna fvck an Alpha hot guy.

More to come 😉

When you met someone new, do you feel that everything seems moving so GOOD, life is AWESOME, birds are singing for you, and you just feel so POSITIVE every single day?

 

Well, that is because you have entered the infatuation phase／蜜月期，when your brain is being flooed with dopamine多巴胺/serotonin血清素/oyxtocin催產素，which means you feel is sweet and all you see is the POSITIVE.

 

How long is this phase? Science says it’s around 12-18 months.

 

And why does this phase slow down after that?

 

Evolutionary biologists says this chemical rush has to die down at that point because the babies that you are now presumably having would die from neglect if you were lavishing so much attention on each other 24/7.

 

Meaning: If you focus too much on your partner when your child is born, your child will die.

 

So what it means to you is that:

DON”T be so clouded by her when you first get to know each other.

Don’t make major life decisions in the first 2 years.  

Don’t mistakenly think that “she is the ONE” when everything seems to go smooth.

 

Keep it light, simple, fun for the first 2 years;

 

have great passionate sex so that “her real self” will slowly start to come out later and you’ll see her real character!

Remember when I said “Men need to first learn to be happy with himself when he is single, before he should embark on a relationship?”

 

That is true, because most modern men are fvcking needy and can’t take care of themselves.

 

And women naturally are repelled by these spineless weak nice guys OR purposeless YOLO fvckboys (in the long term).

 

But after you’ve learnt to be independent, why should we still seek an intimate relationship with someone who arouses you and loves you?

 

It’s because relationships exist to MAGNIFY human experiences,

 

and intimate relationship exist to TRIGGER you so that you can GROW into a better human being.

 

Being a lone wolf, a monk and hiding himself from the world’s temptations is EASY,

 

but engaging with these temptations/corruptions/ugly dirty shit while maintaining your sanity is HARD.

 

Being independent is GOOD starting point,

 

but learning to be INTERDEPENDENT, to work with people and to dive into intimate relationships is what makes you most vulnerable and thus GROW MOST.

 

Getting into a relationship is NOT just to be happy or feel less lonely,

 

it is to share your true self, your flaws, your imperfections;

 

observe WHY you are triggered by your partner’s behaviors;

 

and HEAL your emotional wounds so that you can truly GROW into a better human being.

 

So men/women, are you ready to take this challenge?

Society conditions us to believe that men don’t have any emotional needs from a woman.

 

Well, if you believe that shit, no wonder there are more and more men are suffering from depression due to a bad intimate relationship.

 

Men: Understand what you actually need from a woman

Women: Understand these, give to your man so that he loves you more

 

Here’s the top 3 needs men need to have in a relationship:

 

#1 To feel admired/appreciation from a woman

 

Yes, mature men don’t NEED that or RELY on others to pat themselves.

 

But hey, men still feel good when he is the HERO for you and he loves when she ADMIRES his effort.

 

So women, tell him you love how hot he looks without clothes, how attractive he is when he smiles at you positively & warmly, how seductive he is when he gives you that look that make you wet!

 

#2 To feel that his woman is open and playful

 

It is frustrating to men when a woman is closed off and doesn’t want to communicate.

 

We feel like a failure when we try to make you happy but only to receive a cold feedback OR NO feedback from you.

Yes I know strong men will eventually find a way to OPEN you, but that doesn’t mean you should use that to manipulate him into begging you.

 

So girls, be OPEN and PLAYFUL and men will love seeing your beautiful butterfly dance!

 

#3 To feel FREE

 

If you want a man to STAY in a relationship, give him FREEDOM & LOVE and don’t try to CONTROL him!

Masculine men need independence, they need their alone time to recover, to focus and get shit done.

 

If you don’t give him alone time/ hobby time/ bro time, you will suffocate the relationship.

 

Let him breathe, let him roar, let him FOCUS on his mission and he will COME back to you with glory!

So you have attracted her, you have connected with her and you’ve fvcked her well, now what?

 

What do women actually want in a relationship?

 

Here are a few things all women want in an intimate relationship:

 

#1 To feel SEEN

 

She wants you to SEE through her facade of “bitch face” and SEE that little, cute, innocent, maybe stupid girl of her when she is 5 years old.

 

She wants you to SEE all the bullshit words she says and PENETRATE to the TRUTH of her feelings.

 

She seems fine, but are you SEEING that she is HURTING because you aren’t giving her enough ATTENTION? Be aware of that.

 

#2 To feel UNDERSTOOD

 

When she is talking to you, are you being 100% PRESENT and NOT 人在心不在 watching fvcking TV or phone?

If you can’t give a woman your masculine presence and be attentive TO HER, you deserve to be cheated one day.

 

The one when you take her for granted is the day you start to LOSE her.

 

#3 To feel SAFE

 

You have no idea how unsafe women feel in an era of rape (btw don’t fvcking let them go to India!)

 

But apart from the physical safety, she also wants a SAFE EMOTIONAL SPACE where she can open up to you emotionally & sexually,

and that you WON”T JUDGE her for her rawness, realness and sexuality.

 

Create that safe FRAME/SPACE for her to dance within and REASSURE her that she will be loved.

How can we balance striving for future success while still being joyful in the present moment?

 

For men, it’s relatively for us to aim for that $1M/month, that 6-pack abs, that problem-free relationship with a hot model and achieve one things after another as if you are checking a to-do-list box.

 

While it’s a masculine thing to be driven, hitting goals and shooting for the Mars, if you aren’t CONTENT with what you have already done and CONTENT with the present moment and the journey, your life will be fucking miserable.

 

Just like many famous celebrities in history (Robin Williams/ Marilyn Monroe/ MJ/ Leslie Cheung/ Danny Chan), they seem to HAVE IT ALL – money, fame, women, achievements, they seem to be making EVERYONE in the world happy, but they fail to make themselves joyful and fulfilled and it’s SAD that they killed themselves.

 

So how can we be HAPPY with ourselves NOW, while we want more in life?

 

#1 Give yourself a break/rejuventation time regularly

 

Without optimal health & fitness, you can’t achieve your big goals.  

 

But even if you never miss your ROUTINE, sometimes it’s OKAY to say FVCK IT and eat that delicious meal and indulge in some pleasures.

 

Don’t be guilty because you have EARNED that right to 放縱一下自己, getting 2% body fat back from 8% isn’t going to make you less hot.

 

#2 Don’t neglect your dating life or intimate relationship

 

The longest Harvest study in human history “The Grant Study” discovered that “Our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health.”

 

+ ““Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.”

 

+ “When the study began, nobody cared about empathy or attachment. But the key to healthy aging is relationships, relationships, relationships.”

 

So are you taking PROACTIVE action to meet, attract and keep that person with you?

 

#3 Slow the fvck down and schedule your FUN ENJOYMENT time

 

We live in a fvcked up achievement-driven “successful” hardworking modern 1st-tier city, but researches & studies have again and again proved that many first world citizens are NOT happy with that lives, while many poorer ppl are happier.

 

I am not suggesting not to make that 500K/month, I am suggesting instead of striving to accumulate more traditional “success symbols” – house, cars, women, children -,

 

maybe you should reconsider what TRUE SUCCESS & HAPPINESS in your own fvcking terms.

 

Get the fuck out of this city and see the world as it is, and see how DIFFERENT it is than what you are SOLD in the fvcking media.

 

Change your environment regularly, and what you believe is a “good life” will be changed constantly.

So your gf is crossing her arm, she doesn’t want to look at you, she turns cold and stops communicating with you, what to do?

 

Maybe you’ve said sth, maybe you did sth she doesn’t like that you didn’t even know. And now she is not the loving, soft, feminine women who is open and carefree. What to do?

 

#1 Understand: When a feminine feels HURT & UNLOVED because you said/did sth, she will put up an energetic resistance to the masculine, just to see if he cares enough to PENETRATE it with love.

 

That’s her want to feel your STRENGTH, and she wants to feel that you CARE enough to bring her back to love.

 

#2 So what you need to do is to once agian penetrate her with your love.

 

She may resist your attempts at the beginning, because that’s a TOKEN WAY to make sure you still LOVE and CARE about her.

 

Stare deeply into her eyes, hold her tightly against your body, kiss her deeply with your presence and all these DON”T require money or shit.

 

#3 Don’t be defensive, dont’ ARGUE logically with her, don’t make excuses about not doing it because you have an “ego and save face”.

 

You are NOT begging for approval/forgiveness like a beta male loser,

 

but you are firmly reassuring her that she is SAFE with you, with your penetrative LOVE and she will slowly melt and OPEN again 😀

Let’s be honest guys, if you are addicted to ejaculating with porn, you are fvcked and you are doomed to be a fvcking loser.

 

Understand: Your sexual energy/drive is your most precious & powerful form of energy that you can use to do great things.

 

You EITHER submit to the fvcking porn OR you harness that drive to make your life legendary.

 

Your sex energy is what makes you a productive, driven & attractive man.

So here’s how to overcome such addiction: