Narcissists are not just people who loves to be in the spotlight, they are TOXIC and DANGEROUS people who ONLY care for themselves, their own needs and their priorities.
They desire attention and will manipulate people and situations to get it.
In order to succeed, they may cheat, lie, embellish truths to get ahead, WITHOUT caring how it affects others.
E.g. Cinderella’s stepmother and sisters
-> see no faults in themselves
+ despise/torment those who don’t value them as much
WARNING: Do not confuse narcissism with confidence.
True confidence = strength of personal character
Narcissism = fake confidence, they are arrogance, their character flaw lead to grandiose ideas and desires, AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS
Confidence -> happiness for all
Narcissists -> seeks adoration and happiness for HIMSELF, sacrificing others
Big 5 Character Flaws
#1 Egocentric, 一副高高在上，我有權要求一切，我就是世界中心嘅嬰兒心理態度
E.g. make dramatic entrance in events, they tell you they are the smartest, they namedrops to let you know which “high status famous important people”they hangout with
Narcissists MUST look good to others so they are pay extreme attention to their physical appearance.
They love to present themselves as super accomplished, but when things aren’t as smooth, they BLAME others for making him fail.
When they don’t enjoy privileges, they get angry , they berate others, and sometimes become violent.
#2 Overvalue self, devalue others. 踩低人哋抬高自己身價
Because Narcissists see others as inferior, they have no problem becoming a bully, putting ppl down to elevate themselves.
So whenever you witness school bullying or cyberbullying, BE WARNED! Because no matter how charismatic these bullies are, they are the dangerous ones who have narcissistic traits.
Narcissists are good at identifying your weakness/insecurities and ATTACK you to gain superiority. They just don’t care how you feel, they NEED to put you down to “feel good about themselves”.
Q: Have you seen people berating their partner/kids as stupid/incompetent in public places? You found one narcissist.
#3 零同情心，傲慢，充滿entitlement
Most of us learn to understand ppl’s feelings and will think how our actions affect others, but Narcissists have NO SUCH ABILITY to empathize because their needs/wants/desires are always No.1.
However, some narcissists can PRETEND to empathize. They may seem caring about you at first, but after they have used you as FUNCTIONS, they don’t give a fuck about you anymore.
In short, narcissists just don’t care about you. What they want is that you PAY ATTENTION to them, their needs/desires. They OVERVALUE themselves, UNDERVALUE others, and will do harm to get that without remorse.
#4 行捷徑，扭曲規則，違反界線 Bend Rules
Since narcissists believe they are SUPERIOR like an inborn king, they don’t think they have to work hard to get what they want. They think all rules don’t apply to them and they may take illegal shortcuts.
Narcissists see themselves as the utmost important, they will keep pushing & challenging ppl’s boundaries. So as long as he is happy, he can do anything he wants and he doesn’t care “No or stop” signs from others.
They don’t think this is wrong, they feel ENTITLED. They are pissed when people criticize their inappropriate behaviors and will attack back by berating them.
Most horribly, these narcissists can be successful, famous leaders e.g. priest, basketball coach, teachers who sexually molest kids…
#5 控制狂 Control Freaks
Narcissists seek positions to control others – whether in work or relationships. They use their ranks and status to take care of themselves.
And they exist in the legal, medicine, politics world because they want power/authority to use others to help themselves.
If you get into a relationship with narcissists, they will TORTURE your emotions because you are just a piece of shit that he’s using to make himself feel superior.
Classic example: Neil Strauss in <Game> with his ex gf, hosting a party and saying to each other “look at how much superior we are as a couple”.