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MAN神妳好!我系壹名廣州嘅學生，亦系妳嘅擁躉，衷心希望妳可以解答我嘅問題（知道妳唔慣睇簡體字，所以特登轉左繁體）:最近想追壹個女仔，不過唔知點下手。
=> New bro，you haven’t watched my videos about 『追女仔／自殺』, do your research about that!
話說有壹日我喺自習室見到壹個好Q嘅女仔，好想去認識佢。咁巖果晚落大雨，好快自習室就只剩下我地兩個。於是我以冇帶雨傘為籍口（其實有帶）邀請佢同我共用雨傘回宿舍，佢答應了，整個過程都系用普通話（插壹句，我地呢代廣州人雖然母語系粵語，不過喺學校基本系用普通話）。
於是小弟壹邊擔雨傘，壹邊同佢傾計。我問佢可唔可以講粵語，得到同意之後對佢產生左莫名嘅親切感。雖然回宿舍的路程很短，但是仿佛走了很久。
=》 Story: I remember that exact feeling when you think 『雨中漫步』, that’s how I exactly fucked up a decade ago when I was romanticizing the whole damn 1 -min scene with a girl LOL
到了我宿舍（她宿舍喺後面）我主動提出請佢飲野，佢壹開始反對，不過我壹再堅持要請。幾翻推讓之後請到，我居然唔記得加佢wechat，講左句byebye就真系byebye了，從此再亦冇見過佢。
=》You are trying TOO HARD to be nice. And you behaved like a 雨夜屠夫 who plans to poison her, rape her and kill her! Don’t do that next time.
If you had balls, you could have honestly tell her from the beginning that
“Hey, actually I am kidding. I do have an umbrella with me, I just want to find an excuse to talk to you because I find that you’re quite hard working like me. But I start to get distracted by your cute face so I had to say hi and see if you’re also an approachable person ;)”
從那天起我經常都守在自習室等佢，也去過佢嘅臺面。我地中國學生有條規矩，系自習室臺面擺低壹本書，表示霸左位。佢臺面嘅書堆積如山，壹睇就知道同我壹樣咁鐘意讀書。
可能怕影響其他自習的同學，抑或怕被清潔工搬走書本，佢臺面留有壹小紙條，上面寫左佢姓名同埋電話。於是我將佢電話號碼保存在通訊錄，好快通過APP嘅功能查到佢嘅QQ，WeChat，微博，甚至Instagram賬號。
=> OMG… you really sound like a creepy stalker!!!
You are like stalking her personal details. Even if you can find her, she will feel so UNSAFE that you are secretly planning stuff on her! That’s scary to her!
雖然佢Instagram喺2014年之後冇更新（當年IG被大陸封殺），但我都可以初步了解到佢嘅興趣，性格特質。與此相比，佢嘅微博就似乎好少玩。同埋我了解到佢應該系單身，目前正在準備壹個考試，並且好可能繼續升學。我計劃喺佢離開之前借故偶遇她壹面。
但系萬萬冇想到，喺前幾日佢臺面上嘅書包括那張寫有聯系方式嘅紙條已經被清走。而我冇見到佢清走，畢竟我不可能24小時守在那裏。更慘嘅系，之前保存喺通訊錄的電話號碼被我誤刪。我想加佢WeChat，不過唔知點開口，因為成件事顯得好唐突，況且人地可能遺忘了我。MAN神求妳指點迷津！
#1 You are doing a lot of “BACKGROUND RESEARCH”of her stuff before you actually know the REAL HER. This is a stalker behavior that will scare girls away.
#2 You are OVER-ROMANTICIZING the whole situation and future-projecting what could happen between you and the girl.
You are OVER INVESTING time/energy in this girl before you two even had some FUN. Everything you are doing still demonstrates that you are needy.
#3 You’ve already fucked up for not taking FULL ACTION when you had opportunity, meaning exchanging wechat.
The only way you can attract her is that next time you meet her, you can say sth like “Oh hey, you are the girl who borrowed umbrella for me?”
Depending on her reactions, tell her the same thing you should have said in the first place.