[溝女QnA] 對自己冷淡的女仔,點樣重新溝過?

================

Hi Man,

最近呢個星期先開始睇你嘅videos, 發覺自己做咗一啲你話唔應該做嘅野(e.g. neediness). 心諗如果早啲睇你嘅videos就好.

 

你係我第一個會寫email問感情嘅人,原因係我好認同你話要提升自己為1st priority. 唔講咁多,而家就講我嘅情況.

 

我出咗嚟做野都有2年, 從未拍過拖. 讀書時都有心儀對象, 不過都冇開始過. 咁我呢2年都有讀part time, 第一年就對某一個女仔有興趣,不過就冇去識佢. (我係被佢外表吸引).

 

之後係上年12月機縁巧合攞到佢電話, 傾咗3個星期到就嘗試約佢出街, 佢say yes. 之後佢我唔咩事佢開始冷淡, 我就好識做咁冇係咁chur佢, 亦都冇再約佢. 期間隔1, 2個月有whatsapp佢1, 2次, 佢一時時應.

 

=> Talked 3 weeks before asking her out. Common mistake: Too much rapport. She probably came out as a FRIEND. That’s why when she sensed your sexual advance, she turned cold and cut the communication.

 

係呢啲時間上堂都有撞到,大家都有傾下計. 咁有一次我話會send料俾佢做assignment但係我冇send到 (嗰時諗send嚟冇意思啦),

 

之後見到面say hi佢同我講番我冇send料俾佢, 仲話驚我好忙所以冇揾我 (而家諗番都唔知佢係咪講真).

 

=> Send assignments? Wow, you are putting yourself in the friendzone.

 

直到4月中我同佢開始有番whatsapp (因為6月考試), 大家都有back and forth but mainly focus on exam. (我都有send過啲好笑野不過佢净係俾咗個laugh cry emoji)

 

咁我就冇每日chur佢, 如是者去到5月中到, 我有一個msg佢冇睇過(佢睇咗有blue tick but從來熄last seen), 我就問佢你意見如何 (個msg我係問佢考試意見). 佢咗覆我之後我同佢講係另一樣野再問佢有咩意見, 跟住我發現佢睇完之後就block咗我! (before hand I can see her profile picture and status, after that cant see both).

 

咁我就用sms同佢講話如果有說話令到佢覺得唔舒服真係好對唔住, 當然佢冇覆我一直到宜家. 我有同啲fds講成件事, 佢地都百思不得其解.

 

=> That’s just an immature girl’s way of responding to needy guys they don’t want to see.

 

She probably feels that you’re just 特登搵話題 to get her attention, and feels that you still want her sexually.

 

She is rude, but many young immature girls who can’t woman up will treat guys in such cruel way.

 

其實我上堂啲fds都知道我對佢有興趣,而我亦知道有其他人追佢, 咁我啲fds就有invite佢exam之後出嚟玩, 佢都話好

 

(ps. All my fds are in a relationship or married). 嚟緊9月都會上堂到時會見到, 咁點算?

 

=》Ahhh, your friends know you like her, then she MUST know you like her. My guess is, she has received a TON of social pressure asking her how YOU and HER are.

 

To avoid that, she has no choices but to block 9 you, hopefully people won’t disturb her anymore.

 

我有以下嘅問題:

  1. 嚟緊9月都會上堂到時會見到, 咁點算? Say hi or ignore her when I see her?
  2. 要點做先好似以前咁好番之後會有下文? (當然下文係後話)

 

Thanks for your help. Regards, K

 

=> Great. You have 2 months now to create some vacuum space time. You must NOT communicate with her at any means during these periods. It’s time for you to turn COLD.

 

At the beginning, you should IGNORE her politely. She has treated you like shit, so if you still are being nice, you are just a weak pussy boy.

 

Of course, when in person, if she initiates contact/conversations with her, you can be neutral and respond lightly. BUT DO NOT engage with her too deep, and always TAKE AWAY first as if you are busy with dominating your path.

 

Now it’s testing PATIENCE between you and her.  You must keep creating your own fun life regardless, and let her indirectly SEE that.

 

If you don’t just want friendships, then you can’t act like a friend like you used to be.

================