Book Ref:
Narcissists are sometimes hard to spot because they can be charismatic, intelligent, fascinating individuals who attracts you.
Sometimes you may see a glimpse of their arrogance & grandiosity, sometimes they may turn cold & aloof that makes you feel distant.
The effect is always: You feel confused, you can’t fulfill their desires, you feel tortured.
#1 Narcissists know that you will feel good by caring about you, and that is why they will never do so.
Narcissists are like cold blooded lizards, their lack of empathy makes them EASY to find ppl to complete them, but NO ONE can ever fulfill him/her.
In short, the more you spend time with Narcissists, the more they torture your emotions and heart. You feel HEAVY inside and you’re being EATEN AWAY.
#2 Bro, you may have learnt to “forgive and forget” about their sins because you think 人誰無過，最重要知錯能改, and especially when they are close people you love.
But DO NOT make this mistake…because that’s exactly what narcissists want you to do…
They want you to forgive and forget them…
so that they can HURT YOU AGAIN, and they will feel superior & fulfilled, while you once again feel shocked, depressed and destroyed. Narcissists want you to 臣服於佢嘅腳下。
So Narcissists intent is always to glorify himself/herself at the expense of others, so they people feel “small/insignificant/inferior” while he/she feels “superior/higher/better”.
#3 You must understand: Narcissists are NOT CAPABLE OF expressing love!
Everything they do are conditional “I will do this for you BUT I EXPECT you to return things for me”
Since public image is Narcissists’ primary concern, they CAN NEVER truly give to their children.
They expect children to be perfect, they push children to be best at everything, they use kids as pawns to bring FAME & FORTUNE to themselves.
Because when their children succeed, the light will eventually shine on THEM and they feel great.
However, if children fail to be “their ideal” – athletics, academics, pretty, obedient – Narcissists parents will distance themselves because the children is a BURDEN than a source of pleasure…
This is sad… because the children will never understand why their parents won’t LOVE them …
and their heartbreaks will lead to MANY psychological issues when they grow up and they might do crazy things just to “get love” from other ppl…
#4 So bro, were you loved when you were a child?
Were your parents always questioning, challenging, ordering you to do impossible stuff?
Did your caretakers never show much interest in your needs/wants/desires?
If your childhood was fucked up by narcissists, you might now understand why it is almost impossible for you to develop healthy romantic relationships.
Children internalizes parental narcissism, and narcissism move from generations to another.
And this cycle creates more ppl who are mean, no respect, zero-sympathy, feels entitled to bully others.
So if you recognize such toxic psychological sickness in you,
I highly recommend to seek professional help from good therapists to help you heal from all the sad traumas you had experienced.
Otherwise, no pickup games can help you get the emotionally healthy women you want!