If you remember, we talked about why dependence will KILL every relationship, because your NEED for someone else to COMPLETE you will create unhealthy relationships.
That’s why we must first grow from dependence to independence stage.
But that’s stage 2, because if you stay too long/stuck in independence and autonomy stage, you won’t be able to experience something deeper: connection & intimacy.
That’s why you must then grow to stage 3 interdependence, where we learn to work with our partners to magnify our human experience.
If you are now too independent and FEEL quite lonely in your life, maybe it’s a sign that your life lacks connection and fulfillment.
Here’s 3 questions to guide you on how to lean on others in a healthy non-toxic way.
Tip #1 Think about where you are trying to “go alone” too much in your life. Where in your life are you afraid to ask for help? Love life? Job? Friends?
Are you doing to PROVE that you are capable of being independent, OR you are afraid that people will think you are WEAK when you ask for help?
Humans are social species. Apes alone weak, apes together strong.
At certain point of your life, you NEED to learn to let others in so that we help each other thrive.
Tip #2 How many “friends” in your life REALLY REALLY know you?
your fears, insecurities, dreams, aspirations etc.
If you have 1-5 great friends, that’s awesome because MOST people have ZERO 知己.
So be honest, if you don’t have any, it’s time to reach out to your old friends and maybe meet some new friends.
Tip #3 What are you scared to do most? Something that might make you look powerless, weak, vulnerable?
The truth is it’s VERY HARD to do it all alone as a lone wolf.
Our fears and insecurities are pointers on the areas where we may NEED other people to help us, teach us, nurture us, love us, help us grow.
Yes, being happy, independent, self-sufficient is a GROWTH from stage 1 dependence to stage 2 independence.
But if you truly want to dominate life faster, you will need INTIMACY or a COMMUNITY.
If being alone isn’t getting results you want, It’s time to listen to your HEART and take new action!