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Man神：你好，我係啱啱開始follow你嘅subcriber。我宜家有一個拍左拖一年半嘅女朋友，但係我仍然覺得你嘅page啟發到我，會令我反省自己。
問題係拍拖耐左，女朋友放假會成日搵佢嘅朋友，而我就返part time所以同佢見面少左。我會好掛住佢，想成日whatsapp佢，甚至令佢覺得煩。我覺得自己開始變得clingy，我知道拍拖耐左要比私人空間對方，但控制唔到自己想搵佢嘅衝動。
我知道自己有好大嘅insecurity，害怕分手。另一方面，我好愛佢，想搵佢多d黎維繫感情。呢個dilemma令我內心爭扎好耐，希望Man神可以比d意見我，Tks! Marco
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#1 Yes Marco, you are right, when you become clingy, you will suffocate the relationship and your emotional neediness will repel her away.
Why neediness kill attraction?
Because it implies you have scared mating opportunity, that you are WEAK and UNRELIABLE as a man to get things you want.
As I said last time, Neediness comes from our need for something outside of ourselves to complete us. How independent are you?
How much neediness do you have towards other people? How lonely are you? How many people do you need others to complete your life?
The outcome of getting rid of neediness is a process of thinking critically and deeply about your Values and Principles, Boundaries, and Investing in yourself first, having a clear passionate purposeful life.
Then neediness fall off naturally, and then you learn flirting skills
Teaching needy guys with flirting skills, is like giving psychopaths guns, it hurts everyone!
#2 Right now, you said you LOVE her and want the relationship to work.
That’s good, but understand that the “love” you are describing is very likely not “love”, but a need for her to validate that you are worthy of receiving love.
So Marco brother, you know what a feminine woman wants?
The feminine wants to relax and lean on something strong; desires reassurance, stability, protection, attention; yearns to be filled
The masculine stands tall and strong like a mountain; provides reassurance and protection; finds fulfillment in himself.
Non-Neediness displays a lack of…
– Deference 恭敬從命- Approval seeking – Desperation and Begging
To fix your neediness in the short term,
– Eliminate the mental garbage from pop media, news, TV programs, most PUA material, and most status quo influences
– Fix your physiology, Diet, Fitness
But in the long term, you MUST figure out what your LIFE PURPOSE is.
A man’s purpose will be his guiding light through the challenges of life and love (David Deida), apart from women.
Self-fulfillment comes from finding those things that bring you pleasure and excelling in them.
Find your Purpose that contributes beyond yourself, be fully engaged with it,
then not only will you become the most attractive version of yourself, but also you’ll become the dream quality guy that high quality women want.