=====================
Hi Manson, Thanks for the explanation, I think I understand it better now.
Just want to give you an update: this summer, I have been hanging out and talking to my new and old friends. I really appreciate all of them and their support system. I tried out some new activities as well and it was a fun experience.
However, I still feel some emptiness in myself sometimes.
I still think about that girl who rejected me couple months ago. I thought I could distract myself with all these new people and activities, but I just seem to not be able to get over her. Should I just give it more time?
I still talk to her from time to time (maybe 1/2 messages a week), but I haven’t seen her for about a month now, even she asked me out. Maybe I should go radio silence with her.
Also, I think I need to learn how to not give a fuck for things that are out of my control.
I still think about from time to time why she would choose nerdy guys over me. But at the end of the day, all of these thoughts are useless and not helping me in any way.
Thanks, Mr. H
=====================
#1 Must cut ALL communication in order to get over her. These contacting are emotional TRIGGERS that make you feel like “you aren’t good enough to deserve her.”
Also, it normally takes at least HALF amount of time to recover from “breakups”.
E.g. a 2 year relationship will take at least 1 year of zero contact to truly recover (of course it depends on other factors like what you are doing during those space time)
#2 How not to give a fuck about things you can’t control?
– When you give a fuck, you are in your HEAD THINKING and imagining certain scenarios that is NOT in the present moment.
Einstein “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”
The way to solve it is NOT to do it through LOGIC, which is at the same level as the problem is.
The way is to USE YOUR BODY to solve your mind problems.
The body is the mind, vice versa. When you have problems with your mind, solve it with your BODY by breaking your mental patterns
E.g. Get out and do a solid workout, go out and do some running, listen to high energy music and DANCE like crazy, SHAKE your body, BARK like a warrior king etc.
– Second way, is to DECIDE in advance what are the things you care so much and TRULY give a fuck about, focus on them so hard that you can’t give a fuck about small little stuff.
When you care about something so deeply WITHOUT forcing others to live your own philosophy,
and when you reserve the right to change your mind/opinion/philosophy at any time WITHOUT any prior notice for others, you are truly CAREFREE.
So for you, what actually MATTERS and what doesn’t? How are you going to live YOUR BELIEFS and VALUES in your own way?
If you develop a habit of being GRATEFUL every morning about the things you already have (food, people, your 5 senses, support etc.)
while you take action to grow bigger and better to serve a purpose BIGGER than your own benefit, you will not only succeed but also attain a heartwarming fulfillment.